I’m Andrew Cuomo—I get a pass.
If you don’t like it, kiss my ass!
I’m Andrew Cuomo—I don’t resign.
I’m governor—this state is mine!



Joe Tessitore is a retired New York City resident and poet.

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21 Responses

  1. Julian D. Woodruff

    Great! I knew it was yours just from the title. But I’d bet that Mr. C’s vulgarity surpasses yours, even in casual speech.

  2. Sally Cook

    Dear Joe T. —

    A PC babe I’m not. Please be aware
    No piercings catch upon my underwear.
    And if some old guy snuffles in my hair
    I don’t go screeching. I have got a pair
    Of boobs — and yes, some other things as well
    Best not to mention more; clear as a bell
    I do rejoice that daisies in the dell
    Still reproduce, that clear as living hell
    Is when you cannot live your own sweet life —
    And politicians hold you to the knife
    Of mindliess rules; you can’t dance to a fife
    Until the piper pays. So, who pinched who
    Seems all so dull, when coming into view
    Are crimes of much more substance — witch’s brew.

  3. Russel Winick


    Your poem nails him! Here’s my humble follow up:

    Cuomo in a cell should be.
    Long shot, but don’t dismiss it.
    If he gets there he’ll soon see –
    His ass – they’ll more than kiss it.

  4. Mo

    Hahaha! Love it, Joe! I don’t get on the site much, but liked your poem so much, I had to take the time to reply.

    • Peter Hartley

      Joe – I haven’t a clue who Gov Andrew Cuomo is but I like this, short, punchy and effective. Whoever he is he sounds an arrogant character and much like a nineteenth century master of Balliol College, Oxford (I think), for whom was written: First come I, my name is Jowett / There’s no knowledge but I know it/ I am the master of this college. / What I don’t know isn’t knowledge. (I might not have got it quite right)

      • Joseph S. Salemi

        Andrew Cuomo is the Governor of New York State. Because he has an absolute majority in both houses of the New York Legislature, he has acted like an overentitled tyrant for the last eight years.

        He is arrogant, vindictive, and self-absorbed, like most Democrats. Watching him get destroyed by his own allies in the next few weeks will be fun.

  5. Joseph S. Salemi

    The best that we can do to nail this slob
    Is say he felt up females on the job?
    What about the thousands of old folk
    He shoved inside of nursing homes to croak?
    That’s why he should dangle from a noose —
    Not because he grabbed some broad’s caboose.

    • Joe Tessitore

      I wouldn’t be surprised if he skates away from this.
      It seems to me that all of the signs are pointing in that direction.
      The State Attorney General – who has the power to bring charges against him and who clearly has the evidence – did not do so; she simply issued a report.
      After saying that Cuomo should resign, even The Resident slammed on the brakes when he was asked if he should be impeached.

      The Federal Department of Justice said that there wasn’t enough evidence to bring charges against him for the nursing home scandal – fifteen thousand dead bodies, and there’s not enough evidence.

      How far we’ve come since the days of a former Governor who was forced to resign for wearing his socks while frequenting hookers.

    • Sally Cook

      Joe, my comment on this is that, having established a crime worse than murder (feeling up an employee), to which we must all fall down, quivering and shaking, and without, as usual, giving any thought to some or all of individual cases, they have established a convention which demands widespread acceptance, they now have an effective delaying tool with which to consider the more weighty issues and how to get aorund them.
      By continuing to make ever more particular “groups” the
      individual becomess just a speck. And once the individual is lost, so is art.

  6. Jeff Eardley

    Short and so very sweet Joe. Mr Cuomo has featured on our news over here recently. Looks like he’s heading for “Prince Andrew” territory before long. Thanks for a good laugh on a wet day.

  7. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Joe, this poem packs a powerful punch in its brevity. What a vicious, murderous, duplicitous world we live in.

  8. Maurice O'Sullivan

    If Cuomo’s gropes deserve their lumps,
    We should expect the same for Trump’s.
    In these sad days we’re so divided
    That poets must not be one-sided
    But recognize, among their missions,
    They need to weigh all politicians.

    • Joe Tessitore

      Cuomo’s own brought the accusations against him, and Cuomo’s own found those accusations to be credible.
      Cuomo’s own found his denial of those accusations to be not credible, and yet Cuomo’s own did not file criminal charges against him, when it was undeniably in their purview to do so.

      Write a verse about Trump’s hand in the vaccines and you may find that I’ll be agreeing with you.

      • Joe Tessitore

        And, as far as I know, Trump doesn’t have 15,000 dead bodies to answer for.

  9. C.B. Anderson

    You’ve captured the mood, Joe, but unfortunately this reprobate will likely skate.

  10. Russel Winick

    I’ve been waiting for a Cuomo defense attorney, likely a woman, to mimic his loud proclamations of innocence in the sexual harassment cases (despite the Kavanaugh standard of always believing accusers). It happened yesterday. Hence this poem.


    Cuomo’s crimes were not a secret,
    His Administration knew it.
    As does the defense attorney
    Swearing that he didn’t do it.

  11. Joe Tessitore

    A Misunderstanding

    If you came to my house
    I’d unbutton your blouse
    And I’d fondle your breasts –
    It’s the way I greet guests!

    • Mo

      Hahaha! Right again, Joe! He says that’s how we Italians are. Well, we may be friendly but we are not all perverts! How dare he blame his heritage.

  12. Joseph S. Salemi

    Humpty Don Cuomo sat on a wall.
    Humpty Don Cuomo had a great fall.
    All of his lawyers and tough muscle-men
    Can’t put Don Cuomo together again.

    (Let’s see what happens to his little brother Fredo, the family incompetent. Maybe we can get him into a nursery rhyme too.)

  13. Norma Okun

    Your poem Joe, about Andrew Cuomo helped me to write these words.

    Once there was no hope
    Until Cuomo said
    For child abuse victims
    The statute of
    limitations was no longer expired for at least 2 years
    Before, the crime was done for
    and the victims cried
    He thought it would be
    Good for the victims of child abuse
    To extend the statute of limitations
    The parties who control government
    Made sure that for what Cuomo did
    He would pay for with his own doings being exposed
    And they made sure to call him an abuser
    And a user of his power to molest females
    And in that way they got revenge on him
    Putting the “abuser” to defend himself
    This is the price he paid for being thoughtful
    Of people who were victims of powerful organizations
    Using their power to manipulate
    To please themselves
    To disregard their feelings and be a hypocrite
    And grope female’s body parts as he wished to do
    He was caught having it two ways
    He is now serving the price of his own purposes


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