.

We went to a gender reveal.
And we had an exceptional meal.
__But the host was forlorn
__when she unhusked her corn.
It was pink instead of blue-teal.

Her emotions were on full display.
They should have been tucked far away,
__entrenched in her chest
__or deep in her breast.
It ruined her mood for the day.

I swear that these things are a curse.
Your money should stay in your purse.
__You don’t need a cake
__or confetti to rake.
All you need is a suitable nurse.

Millennial couples all shout:
“We really can’t wait to find out!”
__They can’t delay pleasure;
__they must have the treasure.
Unstable as bricks without grout.

If your want overwhelms you won’t get.
It’s a fact. It will make you upset.
__It’s all up to God
__who is good with a prod.
So be grateful and thankful. Don’t fret.

And wait for the final surprise.
Despite all Modernity’s lies,
__Biology’s easy.
__The baby is cheesy.
Turn it over and look with your eyes.

.

.

Reid McGrath lives and writes in the Hudson Valley Region of New York.

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6 Responses

  1. Cheryl Corey

    Hmm … gender reveal. When you say that millennials can’t wait to find out, it’s more about them than the baby. (My niece had one of those reveals, so I can attest). For now it’s to announce either a girl or boy, but give it time. Someone’s bound to come up with “X” or perhaps “to be determined”, as though it’s a great unknown. Thanks for the dose of humor.

    Reply
  3. Damian Robin

    Through ages since Man fell from tree
    The follow-on gen would best be
    the strong one to move on
    the pheasant or bison
    To bring home the bacon near free.

    In the ages when monkey was man
    With a new life was about to began
    the gibbering circle
    of precognitive perk-cal
    might pop the little girl-kle
    In the bubbling, preverbal pan.

    And so we have ’natural selection’ –
    The dist-taste at post-birth inspection,
    the fight of the fittest
    gives girlies the jitters,
    best do them away from detection.

    This of course is Darwinian
    Now as permanent in science as obsidian
    and science as we know
    in all boys’ minds doth grow
    Which casts girls in the darker meridian.

    So as McGrath says up above
    When it’s seem it’s a girl who’ll need love
    dissatisfactions comes forth
    like barbarians from the North
    And the elbows come out for the shove.

    Reid, I especially like “If your want overwhelms you won’t get.”
    And the Godly reason behind it.

    Pursuit can bring so much dis appointment.
    So I can see it won’t be long til Cheryl Corey’s prediction of would-be parents doing a wait-and-see-what-this-it-identifies-as attitude – until beyond the years of pubery.

    Reply
  4. Paul Freeman

    If I may add my tuppence-worth.

    A gender reveal is the pits,
    but it thrills those expectant to bits;
    though your bundles of joy
    whether girl or a boy
    will likely turn out little…angels.

    Thanks for the read, Reid.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Very good, Paul. I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed that “angels” doesn’t rhyme with “shits.”

      Reply
  5. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    The grin-inducing limerick form and clever use of rhymes belies the gravity of the underlying message. Words that entertain as they warn… my kinda poem. Thank you, Reid.

    Reply

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