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CDC: Urgent Directive

Dillard “Sparky” Barker
Is a Doc at CDC.
It seems he’s done a study
That is sad for you and me.

“Accidental deaths are
At an all-time scary high.
And just because we care
We had to find the reason why.

If you’ve had the jab
Or if you’ve had the Wuhan Flu,
We’ve found you’ve lost some snap,
You’ve lost a giant step or two.

Your once just ‘fair’ reactions
Have now fallen off by half!
Now that’s a frightening fraction!
Take a gander at this graph!

We know that Omicron
Will make reactions even slower.
So, show some grit, hang on,
And set intentions that much lower.

Your freedom’s in the knowing,
Don’t go fast and don’t go far.
And anywhere you’re going,
Ditch the bike. Don’t drive your car.

Your passport and your mask
Are more important than before.
You KNOW we care, don’t ask,
Now stay at home and lock your door.”

Brought to you by your friends at the CDC.

.

.

Mike Bryant is a poet and retired plumber living on the Gulf Coast of Texas.

NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets.

The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.


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32 Responses

  1. Jack DesBois

    I believe the proper term is “Wuhan Cold.”

    Great satire – or is this real? It wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been at the cutting edge of versified Covid news, Mike. (Yours is the first rhymed use of the word “Omicron” I’ve encountered. “Omicron variant” … hmm … I sense a double-dactyl in your future.)

    Reply
    • Jack DesBois

      I couldn’t resist:

      “Huggada-buggada!”
      Omicron Variant
      Frightens the sheeple back
      Into the fold.

      Stoking the fires of
      Africaphobia,
      Biden’s our hero – the
      Border’s controlled.

      Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      Mannn… that’s great! How about this sung to Loggins, ‘I’m Alright’ …

      Omicron…
      Nobody’s worried ‘bout you.
      You just want to give us a fright.
      Ya shoulda been Xi in the queue.

      Omicron
      Ain’t nobody worried ’bout you.
      You just want to give us a fright.
      Can’t ya see that you are through?

      Do what you like!
      Doing it unnat’rally…
      Ya know it’s way too easy,
      We’re gonna disagree.

      You ain’t alive!
      And you ain’t no mystery.
      If it’s nobody’s bus’ness…
      It’s everybody’s game.

      Reply
  2. Paul Freeman

    Delterous, belterous
    Omicron variant
    down in the rabbit holes
    theories they seek.

    When this pandemic ends
    alphabetically
    I reckon I will be
    fluent in Greek.

    Reply
    • Julian D. Woodruff

      Paul,
      That’s a point I tried to make in a poem some time ago. Then (I theorized), it will be on to Hebrew.
      Yesterday (speaking of reacting slowly), it occurred to me that there was the age before we had the car, the rocket, the internet etc., but now we can start to think of the age before we had COVID.

      Reply
      • Paul Freeman

        On the plus side, all these Greek letter names have improved my Scrabble.

      • Mike Bryant

        Julian, perhaps that period could be called The Pre-Authoritarian Medicine Age. Thankfully, it is being beaten back… most notably in Florida.

  3. Jeff Eardley

    Great stuff Mike. I guess he’ll have to have larger turbo-charged blades fitted to the Helicap. Thanks for a disturbing thought for the day.

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      That thought came from somewhere, Jeff. I think the jab pushers are thinking far past what we’re thinking.

      Reply
      • Jeff Eardley

        Thanks Mike….by the way, my “brass monkey” poem you requested is on Peter’s “Guilty Thoughts” page.

    • Peter Hartley

      Mike and Jeff – To keep on the safe side every time I have a COVID-19 injection I sit down and rest for the statutory fifteen minutes then go to the back of the queue and wait for another one. The mask comes in useful but they’re beginning to recognise the Max Wallfalse receding hairline by now. After you’ve worked your way through the Hebrew and Arabic alphabets, by the way, it’s internet suffixes.

      Reply
      • Mike Bryant

        Peter,
        I have a feeling you’re taking that crap like candy just to get close to the nurses.
        According to the Brit statistics, the jab is more and more dangerous the younger you are. There are so many footballers falling out and dying that Reuters has decided they won’t report on them anymore. I guess early death is the new normal. But since the numbers are so clear… why, why, why force it on children 5-11 ???
        The scariant has Fauci letting everyone know – the infants are next in line – early 2022.

        Seriously, why force it on anyone at all?

      • Mike Bryant

        Peter… many more children in the 5-11 age bracket die from jabs than from the CCP virus.
        It will be even worse for the younger children. The reason put forth for jabbing the kids?
        To protect the elderly and infirm.
        What kind of person uses children to shield themselves?
        We used to call them ‘terrorists’, but I suppose they are now the ‘sensible’.

  4. Mike Bryant

    Here’s a rabbit hole for ya.

    Just watch… They will say that Omicron is especially dangerous for children. You know why?

    Israel, on November 10th, ran a Covid Variant Drill. The ‘imaginary’ variant they are preparing for was labeled Omega.
    The assumption was that this new variant was especially dangerous for children. The ‘NEW’ strategy they arrived at to tackle Omega?
    A no holds barred authoritarian approach using every old strategy and some new ones.
    Big Pharma and those in their pay are war-gaming their plans against the public.
    It only took 18 days from the drill to the implementation of the Omicron scare… Omega would have been too obvious.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/nov/10/israel-to-hold-worlds-first-drill-to-test-readiness-for-new-covid-variant

    Reply
    • Paul Freeman

      I see nothing awry in this mainstream media article – the Guardian’s considered a left wing publication in the UK. ‘Omega’ is merely the equivalent of ‘Z’, chosen out of convenience.

      However, let me suggest, Omega – Omega Man – Charlton Heston – NRA – 2nd Amendment. Suddenly it all makes sense.

      Reply
      • Mike Bryant

        No… nothing to see here… move along.
        However, if you’d never had a fire drill before, then just days later you have a fire, you would probably be getting a visit from the arson investigator.
        Of course, in this case, it’s a covid variant drill. Now, the jab-enabled variant, which has been described as ‘unusual and mild,’ appears just in time for a Christmas lockdown. Lockdowns do not work, masks do not work, and authoritarianism does not work for “we the people,” but that won’t stop them, because they can do no wrong.
        Their apologists are fooled, paid off, clueless or apathetic. I wonder which category you fit in.

    • Peter Hartley

      Mike – I think using our children as shields in this sort of war is called infanticide or prolicide, one or the other. You’ve rumbled me about the nurses, by the way, but I never get anywhere – it must be the Max Wall backside.

      Reply
  5. Mike Bryant

    If you read my comment above you might want to see this short video from two weeks ago about the Covid variant drill.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xKlVRCynr50

    This short video is from two days ago.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LEwt8M3CAKo

    They just started the jabs for children 5-11 five days ago.
    This will help explain away all the children that will be dying.

    I have a feeling that this new variant will be said to cause heart attacks and blood clots. They have already said that the symptoms are “unusual”

    https://www.theepochtimes.com/mkt_breakingnews/omicron-variant-causes-unusual-but-mild-symptoms-south-african-medical-association-head_4127014.html?utm_source=News&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=breaking-2021-11-28-1&mktids=1ae5a9bada9877709eadb8a3ed02fd36&est=2ivAbgL%2B1v3oIS5rMvBM0Un%2BUCooe2LqW%2FXfAI0JkOkzA6ZkkLImYyWoyT7t

    Reply
  6. Cheryl Corey

    To highlight what Mike pointed out – WHO skipped over what was supposed to be the next letter in the naming – “Xi”, not Omicron. Gee, what an oversight.
    According to S. Africa Medical Assn, the variant is unusual but mild. Two confirmed cases in Australia. It’s only a matter of time before hysteria hits our shores – convenient for the political class.
    Thanks for whipping this up, Mike. By the way, surely this means that the gov’t will finally shut down the border.

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      I doubt that they will shut down the border. Their actions don’t make sense. They can do what they want because they have so many fooled, paid off, clueless and apathetic, thanks, Cheryl

      Reply
  7. BDW

    as per Euclidrew Base:

    The Greek alphabet, used in math and science, has been used for Wuhan flu variants:
    alpha, beta, gamma, delta, epsilon, zeta, eta, theta, iota, kappa, lambda, mu, nu, Xi,
    omicron, …
    pi, rho, sigma, tau, upsilon, phi, chi, psi, omega.

    Nu’s-reel:
    The brand new nu flu variant is renamed omicron,
    because WHO doesn’t want the next called xi, no, o, my God;
    because it would remind the World “Xi” Jinping has done
    more to create pandemic Wuhan flu than anyone.

    Reply
  8. Mike Bryant

    I forgot to mention… if you like anagrams, omicron is moronic! In fact, omicron is moronic even if you hate anagrams.

    Reply
    • BDW

      John Dryden (1631-1700) did not like anagrams. In “MacFlecknoe”, he called anagrams, the “torturing one poor word ten thousand ways”; and I know that many @SCP despise them (e. g., censoring them in reply names).

      However, others, like Hellenistic poet Lycophron (c. 320 – c. 260), in his “Cassandra”, used anagrams.

      Later, some examples were quite intricate:
      Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum
      (Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee)
      Virgo serena, pia, munda et immaculata
      (Virgin serene, pious, clean and immaculate)

      The musically gifted French poet Guillaume de Machaut (1300-1377) likewise indulged in anagrams.

      William Shakespeare chose the name Hamlet from Amleth, the Danish prince, who was the adumbrated inspiration for his remarkable tragedy. Perhaps he thought, ‘I’ll make a Wise phrase’ from his name.

      In the 16th and 17th centuries, noted scientists, like Galileo, Huygens, and Hooke, used anagrams to stake their intellectual claims and protect their works.

      As well, Edgar Allan Poe (Earl Aldon Page), in The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym”, suggested the idea of literary anagrams; though prior to that, it was computer science, mathematics and the pastime of British cryptic crosswords, that first inundated me with anagrammatic word play.

      In PostModernism, Vivian Darkbloom appears in Vladimir Nabokov’s “Lolita”, while
      Mr. Mojo Risin’—Jim Morrison—shows up in the Doors’ “L.A. Woman”.

      In the New Millennium, Beau Lecsi Werd thinks of anagrams as just another technique in the poet’s bag of tricks. Dr. Weslie Ubeca is now thinking of using “moronic” in a potential omicron poem.

      Reply
  9. David Watt

    It Doesn’t Add Up

    This scariant named Omicron
    Makes simple folk look woebegone.
    It’s not their place to disagree
    With boffins from the CDC.

    The spike mutations: thirty-two,
    Add up the same as our teeth do,
    Except for wisdom teeth by four,
    Which, sad to say, most have no more.

    I beg, if it is not late,
    Count up again, it’s twenty-eight!

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      David,
      I love the poem… I especially love “SCARIANT”
      Omicron SCARIANT has a very nice ring to it.

      Reply
      • David Watt

        Mike, your witty poem has inspired many poetic responses. “SCARIANT” seemed apt in light of the fearful talk about what seems to be a milder bug.

      • Mike Bryant

        David,
        “Seems to be” is exactly right!
        I would not be surprised to find out that Omicron is just a feint, and the really bad stuff is waiting in the wings. Small Pox killed 30,000 of every 100,000 infected. Covid kills 828 of every 100,000 infected. And that is in spite of Herculean efforts to increase the kill rate.
        The Wuhan Lab has not been closed down. In fact the CCP is building 20 more of them as the money keeps flowing in from Fauci and Gates and, I’m sure, many many others. Wouldn’t the authoritarian measures be much easier to implement if the kill rate was more like small pox? What if the next bug they are tweaking has a kill rate of 50% or even higher?
        These guys are playing for keeps.

  11. Mia

    Jesus said he was the Alef and the Tav, or the Alpha and the Omega when it was translated into Greek.

    Reply
  12. Tamara Beryl Latham

    Mike, your poem was quite enjoyable and very witty.

    Wonder why omicron was chosen instead of omega?

    Perhaps it was because omega clearly translates as “the end” and the powers that be didn’t want to frighten the sheeple into thinking “omega” meant the end of the world, as predicted by Jesus of His second coming. With that in mind, omicron won out over omega. 🙂

    Reply

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