.

The Dark Knight

I’ve always held the Queen in high esteem,
Her ever-classy, never brassy aura
Shines noble splendour on the regal scene
And blesses folk who openly adore ‘er.

Today the corgi-hugging monarch’s task
Of knighting U.K.-hater, traitor Blair,
Left baffled subjects hankering to ask
Her Majesty if she was unaware

Of Tony’s phony record in Iraq—
This poodle basked in oodles of corruption.
How could a crowned one back a whacky quack—
A snake who spake of arms of mass destruction?

Today Blair rose in odd, ungodly glory
To hedonistic heights of fake acclaim.
When Ma’am hears of his heinous horror story
The sword she wields may not be quite as lame.

When Liz finds out this quisling’s sold his soul
And done Great Britain up just like a kipper,
One bloated, gloating head will surely roll—
If not, the knighthood’s ripe for Jack the Ripper.

.

Susan Jarvis Bryant is from Kent, England.  She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas.  Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets).


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35 Responses

  1. Russel Winick

    Most entertaining, Susan. I don’t know much about Blair, but will take your word for it that he was a poodle basked in oodles of corruption!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you, Russel. The British people are not happy and neither am I… hence my poem! I’m glad you like it.

      Reply
  2. Joseph S. Salemi

    The problem is, Susan, that Her Majesty has no say in who gets a knighthood. The annual List of Honours is prepared by the current government, and a “K” is awarded largely on the basis of political considerations, popularity, inside wheeling and dealing, and other factors that have nothing to do with the recipient’s worthiness. The Queen’s only task his dub the man’s shoulders with the sword.

    The fake “Conservative” government and Home Office of BJ decided on this knighthood, for God only knows what insane reason.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      The thing is, Joe, if I were a nonagenarian monarch, I would go out with a bang and not a puff. The royal family are doomed anyway (Charles, Andrew, Harry and the new Globalist regime will see to that). Why not take a heroic stand with that sword and speak for the people?! We are all blessed with free will… if I were the Queen I would say bollocks to the fake Conservative government and (at the very least) slice off Blair’s pride. What if Her Majesty was to say “NO!”… what if… what if. If only I reigned supreme. 🙂

      Reply
      • Paul Freeman

        The Queen does not knight people, anymore. That duty is in the hands of Charles and Anne, now, due to her age and frailty.

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Paul, we all know it’s a farce. We all know the Queen wields no power, nor do Charles, Anne or the Prime Minister. We all know we’re being played… but, we’re still blessed with free will. My hope is that just one of the people I’ve mentioned might act as an honest individual and not part of the corrupt collective. One can but dream.

  3. Jeff Eardley

    Wow Susan, this is right on the pulse of opinion over here. There is currently a petition of over 200, 000 to strip the slippery snake of this undeserved award. The thought of our fallen of Iraq and Afghanistan were speaking to me as I read this. A most powerful statement. Thank you.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      You are most welcome, Jeff. I am right there with all the British people who think this is a wicked travesty. The world has indeed gone mad and my heart bleeds for all those who have suffered under the evil deeds of this war criminal. The Queen should sharpen her tongue, her wits, and her knighting sword… before it’s too bloody late! I’ve always thought her a strong woman. Now is the time for her to prove it… I’ve not given up hope, Jeff. Go Liz! Go!

      Reply
  4. Brian Yapko

    Susan, I’m painfully ignorant when it comes to British politics. I know that I detest Jeremy Corbyn for being an uber-woke anti-Semitic git but I don’t really know much about Blair other than what I learned from the Helen Mirren movie “The Queen.” What I do know is that your poem is hilarious — even when read by someone unfamiliar with the subject. Your internal rhymes (e.g. “the snake who spake” followed soon by “fake”) are witty but they also bring in a sense of political double-speak-mumbo-jumbo which serves the subject so well. Best of all, you managed to bring Jack-the-Ripper into a comical poem. How bloody clever is that?!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Brian, you’re sounding more like an Englishman everyday… I think we may be related – “uber-woke anti-Semitic git” is pure poetic genius with a definite British tone – a title for a poem that would go down a storm in Blighty if ever I heard one. Brian, trust me, the knighting of Tony Blair is a bad move. But hey, he’s already been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, even though his phony Middle East wars have been going on forever, and he is responsible for the death of countless British soldiers because of his lies and greed. The British Honours List has now entered farcical realms and must be treated accordingly… I’m glad you think I’ve done the subject justice. From a lawyer, that’s high praise, indeed! Thank you!

      Reply
      • Brian Yapko

        I’m sure we’re related and grateful for the compliment! A Corbyn poem is not something I can picture writing — I don’t want that man in my brain for one second — so my Blighty poem will have to wait. But I appreciate the appreciation! And I am glad to get this lesson in British politics. Blair sounds like a piece of work. I’m sorry to hear he is being wrongfully honored. Thanks again for the read and the lesson!

    • Joseph S. Salemi

      Blair represented what was sometimes called “New Labour” — that is, a redesigned Labour Party that had morphed from championing the tough working classes to being the party of latte-swilling young urban professionals in the City of London, and the trendy media and academic types. The exact same thing happened with the Democratic Party here in the U.S.A. You may recall that Blair began using the obnoxious phrase “Cool Britannia” to designate Labour’s whole changed approach to politics.

      Blair’s idea was to drop the noisy bread-and-butter populism of a Labour Party that represented coal miners and the like, and to start speaking in the slick rhetoric of overentitled yuppie scum, while holding onto the lower-class vote by not being too openly “woke” or leftist. This is exactly parallel to what the Clintons tried in the United States, at just about the same time.

      The fact that this happened all over the West is an indication of a major shift in cultural/political power, out of the hands of ordinary working persons and into the hands of a managerial-educational-corporate elite. The desperate fight that we have now is to prevent these vermin from consolidating their power in a permanent way.

      If Boris Johnson did not sign off on knighting Blair, then the “Honours” decisions must now be in the hands of some administrative types who are part of the Permanent Bureaucratic Government of Britain, no matter who is elected. That is a bad sign.

      Reply
      • Brian Yapko

        Thank you very much for this brief description of Blair both as background to the poem and as a very helpful description of his role in the current lamentable state of Western politics.

  5. James Sale

    A wonderful satire and a wonderful subject for it – very skilfully done indeed, and very funny. Though, for me, it is a sore point as it is for you Susan: the incredulity with which I greeted the news that Blair was to receive a knighthood! The traitors indeed. As some who have read my HellWard will know, Canto 10 is entirely devoted to the Mass Murderer, Bliar, and if I may be permitted briefly to quote myself:

    Four wars he entered, justified his crimes
    By arguing things were far worse otherwise;
    Saddam unchecked? That monster’s paradigm

    Of tyranny and all its murderous lies?
    Some half a million dead didn’t compare
    To all who had or would by Saddam die;

    And anyway, the WMDs stored there
    Meant Bliar’s moral right was strong, compelling;
    He said so now, and he said so, sincere.

    And how sincere – that trump was his high calling!

    More great work Susan – let’s keep calling the tyrants out!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much for this, James. I’m certainly not surprised to hear you’re on the same page as me as I’ve read every one of your HellWard cantos with relish. Canto 10 is a personal favourite – it says it all perfectly, and I love your play on his name… how apt. I thoroughly recommend this delightful, insightful book… it is compelling.

      Reply
      • James Sale

        Thanks Susan – very generous of you – and I think there must be a general feeling on the SCP that a collection from the wonderful SJB is long overdue: I shall buy it!

  6. Cynthia Erlandson

    I haven’t kept up with British politics; but I love and share your dream that right-minded people would stop just going along with foolishness and say or do what needs to be said or done — or, not done! And, as always, I love your wordsmithing: “odd, ungodly glory”; your hilarious rhyme for “aura”; “bloated, gloating”, and quite a few other internal rhymes!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Cynthia, I appreciate your fine eye for poetry and your integrity. We do our utmost on this site to get the truth out there using the skills God gave us… let’s hope it makes a difference. Thank you very much for your support.

      Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      For the right reason, I hope, Jerilyn. 😉 It’s always lovely to hear from you. Thank you very much for reading my poetry.

      Reply
  7. David Watt

    I heartily agree that bestowing a knighthood on Blair would be a horrible look for the Queen, and a sick idea. The whole affair does speak of mass corruption rather than mass destruction. Your writing is entertaining, as always.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      You’ve hit the nail right on the head, David – mass corruption, indeed! Thank you for your astute and kind words.

      Reply
  8. Satyananda Sarangi

    Susan ma’am,

    One of the best satirical poems I have read of late. The spineless monarchy may better sit back and read this humorous piece!

    Best wishes.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Hello Satyananda – it’s lovely to hear from you again. I think I may send the Queen a copy… I live far enough away from the Tower of London to embrace my bold side. I will encourage Her Majesty to do the same. Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem.

      Reply
  9. Stephen Kingsnorth

    The former prime minister was made a Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, an appointment personally made by the Queen. Appointments are at the sovereign’s sole discretion.
    I have never thought my sovereign Queen to be ‘spineless’.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Mr. Kingsnorth, whatever tradition the United Kingdom has established, truth and loyalty should take precedence. I adore Queen Elizabeth II and happen to think she’s a very strong woman. BUT, when my homeland awards a liar and a mass murderer a coveted title, something has gone horribly wrong. My poem points this out satirically, and many UK citizens happen to agree. Thank goodness those signing the petition against Blair’s appointment are blessed with a long memory and a conscience. Thank you for dropping by.

      Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi

      To Stephen Kingsnorth:

      According to information from the BBC, the decision as to who is eligible for knighthood is made by a group of committees. They select possible candidates, and these committees are made up of “independent experts — who are appointed via a public appointments process — and official members who are Permanent Secretaries of the departments within whose remit the committee’s specialization falls.”

      That is pure Bureaucratese jargon for telling us that knighthoods are decided by a permanent pack of administrative weasels who determine among themselves who shall be chosen. Each committee presents the Queen with its final list, and she “approves of it” — which just means that she signs off on their decision without making a peep. She does not make any “personal appointments.”

      Can Her Majesty “disapprove” of somebody on the prepared lists? Sure — but that hasn’t happened since the 19th century. The notion that “Appointments are at the sovereign’s sole discretion” is ludicrous.

      Reply
  10. Stephen Kingsnorth

    Sir
    I believe you fail to distingish ‘knighthoods’, from ‘Companions of the Order of the Garter’, of whom there are only 24 at any given time, chosen by the sovereign, and most certainly not, I believe, from any ‘list’ prepared for her.
    Whilst it is pointless to continue this debate, I do not think I am being ‘ludicrous’ at all, and I am sorry that you should think so, or be so strident in your assumption that you are correct.
    We will, I hope, respectfully differ in our understanding of the matter, as I had thought the ‘Comments Policy’ established.
    I am afraid I found some of the remarks in the comments section I have just read, e.g. “These scum know that they are in power, and that with the right Antipope at the helm they can browbeat, lecture, and silence real Roman Catholics everywhere” so offensive and immoderate, yet apparently acceptable to regular readers, I no longer have a wish to visit the site.
    Despite my interest in the subject of classical poetry, which is why I first chose to visit the site, with regret I find that this seems not the place where I can profitably learn more about the matter. How sad.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Mr. Kingsnorth, I have clicked on your image and note you are ‘retired from ministry in the Methodist Church’. Because you have brought God and religion into your exchange with Mr. Salemi, I would like to ask this question: leaving all technicalities surrounding Blair’s elevated status via a title bestowed by the Queen aside, do you think a man who has lied, caused the death of many as a result of these lies, and angered and upset many in the process, should be granted such an honour? For me, the closing line of my poem says it all. Also, Mr. Salemi’s strong words have highlighted the obvious problem within the Catholic Church… one would have to be blind not to see it. Why are his words so offensive when the heinous deeds he is talking about don’t register on your radar? I find the subject of Blair’s title and the conduct of the Pope to be a Jesus in the Temple moment… am I wrong? I look forward to hearing your views.

      You say you came here to learn more about classical poetry. There are plenty of excellent examples on this site. Take a tour – my poem is one of thousands on many themes and using many different forms. Inspiration awaits you.

      Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi

      Since when is a retired Methodist minister interested in the intramural disputes within the Catholic Church?

      Reply
  11. David Whippman

    A well written poem, and for me it has the right mix of real moral stance and a wry humour. Nice one, Susan. Blair’s fibs about WMDs, the sexed-up documents etc weakened his case. Saddam Hussein was unquestionably an evil man, but who knows whether, when the dust has settled, Iraq will be a better or worse place for the Allied invasion? As for Blair: I was never a great fan of his, but I must admit that I got downright nostalgic for him when Corbyn was in power!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, David. I used to be of the same mind as you on the Blair/Corbyn front… but now I find it hard to determine the differences between the political visions of Jeremy, Tony, Boris… and Biden. Let’s just hope I’m a disillusioned pessimist when it comes to politics and, in the words of Blair’s D Ream anthem “things can only get better”. 😉

      Reply
      • Dave Whippman

        I know what you mean: they all seem bad in different ways! I have to declare an interest, as it were, and say that my view on Corbyn is intensified by my being Jewish. That doesn’t make me oblivious to the faults of the others.

  12. Tamara Beryl Latham

    Beautifully penned Susan and aside from the meter, satire and wit incorporated in your poem, aren’t all politicians on both sides of the pond corrupt?

    Perhaps it is a good thing the Queen cannot Knight anymore.

    Great job! 🙂

    Reply

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