.
In all, you’re in control; your imperious charms
Have inspired a near-insatiable itch in my arms
To reach and grasp and hold, in hopes to soothe,
To bring our fire and ice together to prove
That we can melt together in the end,
And form of just ourselves the calm pool we intend.
.
.
Adam Wasem is a writer living in Chicago.
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Mary Jane, this is a wonderful translation of Rilke's original German. I love how you maintained the rhyme-scheme and the…
Wow! Very impressive, and imaginatively creative, translation feat!
Good advice Nathan - totally agree.
Thanks Margaret. Speaking of Langston Hughes, it’s an endless fascination to me that my (and many other people’s) two favorite…
"A system built to leave no lasting trace" sounds like structuralist literary criticism. Contrary to the entertaining Council you describe,…
Imagery of fire and ice melting together to form a “calm pool” is a pleasant prospect.
In my experience, if there isn’t at least a little fire and ice, that pool doesn’t end up calm. So grab your prospective pool maker with both hands and hold on tight.
Adam, you show good control of meter in this short poem with several important metrical variations, but five strong accents in each of the lines except the last, which has six for an impressive finish. Perhaps that’s the water pooling as the lovers melt!
Thanks. Yes, I’ve found spondees effective for evening the stress from word to word. Pretty much a natural go-to when I’m looking to convey serenity.
Adam, I like the way you’ve captured the meeting of two souls who complete one another in a beautiful relationship. I always marvel at the perfect pairing, often comprised of people with completely different character traits who share the same wonderful vision. A belated Happy Valentine’s Day to you.
Thanks for that acknowledgement. There was more to it, heightening even more the idea of opposites attracting, but the metrical mismatch between this stanza and the rest was a bit too outre for the site’s guidelines, I think. Anyway, happy Valentine’s Day to you too.