Two Poems for White Day, by Margaret Coats The Society March 13, 2022 Beauty, Culture, Humor, Love Poems, Poetry 20 Comments . Two Poems for White Day On White Day, March 14, men in Japan present white gifts to women, in return for the chocolates they receive from women on Valentine’s Day. White Day began in 1978 as a commercial venture to sell more candy and flowers. It is now observed in many East Asian countries—and condemned as a barrier to gender equality. . White Day Shopping For friends, pale sugar cookies readymade, White chocolate, lilies, daisies, scarves with flair; For relatives, adornments for the hair, Perfume, a bag with seed pearls appliquéd; Co-workers get trim gloves of creamy suede, A silver pin, white tea, or frosted fare; For mom, glazed ikebana earthenware; A fan for grandmother, or beads of jade. Gifts must more than repay their valentines, And each his feelings as of now defines Toward kindness and attention feminine. For wife or fiancée, lace lingerie, Fine jewels, or a just-for-two soirée Revealing manly gratitude within. . A White Day Dilemma As valentine, she gave a duty gift: Not worth much, it sat on his desk for days. She noticed. “Don’t you like this little heart?” He groped for words, and couldn’t meet her gaze: “Such quality from downtown’s finest shop!” She smiled and said, “But soon it will be stale.” He understood, but didn’t have a clue What he might win with white bijoux for sale. He’d never gone inside Café Sei-en, But yearned to know how much her heart had cost. The clerk asked what was the confection’s name; He didn’t know. Today’s sweet-saké-sauced Slick special was likewise ineffable. He thought of naming her, but soon enough It was adjudged she’d spent five hundred yen, And fifteen hundred payback isn’t rough. Still, should he spend it at this modish place With Paris style intended to attract The younger generation to kyōgashi, Old-fashioned sweets of artistry exact? “Invite her,” hints the clerk, “for conversation. Though gifts do speak, there’s none at any price So eloquent as café love diversion, An easy spree of speech not overnice. “Our kumquat kikandaifuku is new, And perfect for a casual White Day date.” Talk isn’t cheap, he thought. This asks too much; I only wanted to reciprocate, But maybe I could stroke an inky note. My running grass calligraphy can’t fail To widen wit and warm her heart by art. She smiled and said, “Your passion may prevail.” . . Margaret Coats lives in California. She holds a Ph.D. in English and American Literature and Language from Harvard University. She has retired from a career of teaching literature, languages, and writing that included considerable work in homeschooling for her own family and others. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 20 Responses Roy E. Peterson March 13, 2022 I read your poems more than once to assimilate some of the culturally associated words and meanings. I must say I enjoyed the perspective and expertise you so deftly exhibited. I am left with the thought: I hope his passion prevailed and his artistic abilities made the right impression. Reply Margaret Coats March 13, 2022 Thanks for reading, Roy. Online discussion emphasizes the impact of a personal, homemade gift. Maybe he should spend his money for a beautiful blank card that suits his writing style. Reply Brian Yapko March 13, 2022 Margaret, these are both wonderful poems which have some idiosyncratic elements that I really enjoy. Your take on Japanese culture and norms – traditional as well as contemporary – is deeply observant. White Day Shopping is a fun, almost exhaustive, catalog of potential purchase items which are carefully cross-referenced with the status/relationship of the recipient. The giving rule “Gifts must more than repay their valentines” is highlighted in the poem’s only couplet. This is an interesting sonnet form with which I’m unfamiliar – abba abba cc deed. You use this structure to separate categories of love. Non-romantic relationships makes up the text before the couplet and the post-couplet is reserved for romantic love with the final line at last signaling the point of this shopping spree – the expression of the speaker’s “manly gratitude.” White Day Dilemma almost presents a closeup of the last quatrain of White Day Shopping as it focuses on a somewhat unsatisfactory romance that carries hope but seems to lack conviction. The rhyme scheme in which only the 2nd and 4th line of each stanza rhyme seems to reflect this disjointed communication between the protagonist and his hoped for sweetheart. Furthermore, so much of the focus on this poem is transactional – the unevenness of the quid pro quo between “him” and “her.” Like Roy, I greatly enjoy the specific cultural references which bring us into a somewhat unfamiliar world, yet I think everyone can relate to the anxiety of getting it right – the gift, meeting expectations without too much commitment, assessing the relationship itself. We never get a sense of whether these people are in love, or whether they are nice and deserve to be in love. This places a glaring spotlight on transactionality which seems to be a bit romance-deficient. But then there is that final stanza… The final stanza is particularly ingenious as the speaker is lifted out of the transactional and into a higher realm of art. It is only in the last line – when art is brought into the picture – that passion also becomes a possibility. I find myself hoping that the protagonist will find some joy in whatever he chooses. This is a fine, subtle poetic observation which I have greatly enjoyed reading and re-reading. Reply Margaret Coats March 14, 2022 Brian, thanks as always for your careful reading! “White Day Shopping” uses the rhyme scheme most often used by French sonnet writers (see more at my last year’s Easter Season Sonnets, translated from Anne de Marquets). I chose that form, and used several French words, because Paris is the ideal of romantic elegance to Japanese women. And the sonnet only lists a selection of possible gifts. If a gift itself is not white, the storekeeper can offer it in a pretty box with white ribbon and a “Happy White Day” tag. You are right that White Day, like Valentine’s Day, makes a distinction between “true love” gifts and duty gifts, as I did in my sonnet. Both are important. “Duty” is not a painful duty, but a way of keeping up friendship, neighborliness, and family and business and school associations. I love Japanese culture for its concern with these things, and for the close-to-universal understanding of symbols operative in gift giving and other courtesies. A gift on Valentine’s Day or White Day symbolizes the personal interaction of giver and receiver, which is why you have to be careful in what you give and how much it costs. In “White Day Dilemma,” the lady gave a valentine duty gift worth 500 yen, or less than 5 dollars, appropriate for a co-worker. But the man discourteously lets it sit on his desk until she shows her displeasure. What I’m trying to represent here is interaction that may move them toward a romantic relationship. But she doesn’t want to make advances that may be rejected, and he is both inarticulate and unsure if he wants change. We can all sympathize, but Japanese manners and language require things to proceed only on a basis of mutual agreement. This was one of the most fascinating things I learned in Japan. The verb of any sentence comes at the end, and if a speaker can see by facial expressions and body language that the other person is not in full agreement with him, he can negate his sentence at the last moment, just to achieve agreement in the negation! I adore this culture of indirection and symbolism focused, ultimately, on finding whatever is comfortably agreeable. In “A White Day Dilemma,” I leave that to the two characters and to the imagination of my readers. The man has discovered that he may want to make the relationship with his female co-worker more personal, by giving her some of his expert calligraphy. “Running grass” is an advanced, difficult, but extraordinarily beautiful style. When she says, “Your passion may prevail,” she could mean his passion for calligraphy. But how? It’s up to them and to you, who have read quite well! Reply Yael March 13, 2022 White Day, something new I learned today, thank you Margaret. I enjoyed both poems for all the reasons which Roy and Brian so eloquently stated above, and also because I like to learn a new thing every day to widen my horizon. Your comment about the condemnation of White Day as a barrier to gender equality also got me thinking; if the two genders were truly equal, then Valentine’s Day more than likely would not have been invented in the first place. Reply Margaret Coats March 14, 2022 Yael, thanks for reading and thinking! I have seen articles complaining that women do not need White Day gifts; they need better jobs, higher pay, etc. But how are those things going to be achieved for women in general by doing away with a day when men show manly gratitude to the individual women in their lives? The nasty thing about so-called gender equality is that it abandons individuality, and hopes to replace it with equal conformity to some unrealistic stereotype. Let’s enjoy pleasant customs that can make each of us happier in unique little ways! I really liked that kumquat kikandaifuku my husband brought me. Reply James Sale March 17, 2022 Two wonderful poems, Margaret, full of charm and grace, as well as deep technique. And I admire you for resisting the simplistic and false notions of feminism and also all equality movements, for they promote self-satisfaction, virtue-signalling, victimhood and disempowerment whilst simultaneously destroying joy, generosity and all the little acts of charity that bind people together. Thanks. Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 James, please excuse my little error in replying to you. The return comment is below Joseph Salemi’s. Joseph S. Salemi March 17, 2022 Why should feminists object to White Day, when it is merely a reciprocating gesture for what was given on Valentine’s Day? Isn’t it an instance of gender equality, since it can be seen as a mutual exchange? It only confirms what Ernest Belfort Bax said about feminism back in 1913: it’s not about equality at all, but about the exaltation of female privilege. Reply Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 Joe, White Day could be seen as a day of mutual exchange, but I think we know feminists object to any mutuality based on the inescapable differences between the sexes. Their kind of angry thinking finds no equality where there is not indistinguishable sameness. And that’s just impossible. Moreover, White Day is not an equal exchange. A man returns gifts only to women who gave him valentines, but he is supposed to spend two to three times as much as they did. Spending about the same is considered a slight. Feminists could see the customary higher expenditure as female privilege if they liked, but won’t they rather call it systemic sexism, presuming that men will always be higher paid? Reply Joseph S. Salemi March 17, 2022 Yes, but that’s what Bax was driving at. Certainly the man gives White Day gifts only to the women who gave him presents on Valentine’s Day –how is he supposed to give gifts to women who DIDN’T send him a present? This strikes me as the resentment of women who aren’t involved with anyone, and who therefore hate the very idea of romantically tinged gift exchanges in which they have no part. As for being “slighted” if the man does not give a present of much greater value than the one he received, this is just the rage of offended female privilege. Yes, men may be paid at a wage-rate higher than some women, but a man smitten with a woman will tend break the bank to give her presents that show the intensity of his love. If he can’t, it may just be that he’s financially strapped. But for women to EXPECT him to splurge (just because some rapacious businessmen thought up “White Day”) it is just another instance of the ingrained sense of female privilege. The real culprit behind all this is rampant capitalism, which preys upon human feelings to generate occasions that require cash outlays for gifts and cards and flowers — Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Secretaries’ Day, commercialized Christmas, Sweet Sixteen parties, etc. Convincing women that they should receive a gift several times the value of what they sent to men was a brilliant ploy — make use of female privilege to compel larger purchases! As for gender feminists, my opinion is that what they would really like is White Day institutionalized as a requirement for all men in regard to all women, with Valentine’s Day abolished as a relic of Christian superstition and the male objectification of women. That, for them, would be “equality.” Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 Joe, you outdo Bax in your analysis of what feminists really want. He was perceptive, but in 1913 he didn’t see the patent and incurable feminist rage we have seen more recently. And about persons resentful of romantically tinged gift exchanges, let me tell you about Black Day on April 14. It emerged in Korea, where young adults of either sex, who lack a boyfriend or girlfriend, get together in a bar or restaurant to lament their loveless state with a meal of noodles in black sauce. The idea has crossed the Pacific and been taken up by Californians, who may make the occasion a picnic in a park or on the beach. Maybe this year there will also be some frustration expressed against mandated restrictions on social gatherings. Reply Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 Thanks, James, for your compliments on the poems, and for your succinct analysis of the social poisons spread by equality movements. I think White Day blossomed in the Asian gift-giving cultures not just because merchants made money, but because everyone understood the importance of the tokens. The initial spark was a woman writing to a major newspaper, complaining that only men received Valentine chocolates. She said she would rather have a marshmallow in return than nothing at all. And that’s a striking statement, as marshmallows (because they melt in a messy way) symbolize the desire to dissolve a relationship! Reply Tamara Beryl Latham March 18, 2022 Margaret, both of your poems were well constructed, but my favorite was the second one, “A White Day Dilemma.” Although I like the content, tone and imagery of “White Day Shopping,” since it reminds me a little of “Christmas,” I can’t figure out the rhyme scheme in this sonnet. The first two verses are abbd and abba. And did you deliberately introduce a feminine ending in L11 to tie in with feminists/feminism? 🙂 A White Day Dilemma exemplifies your expertise with words by delivering a powerful poem in the form of rhyming quatrains. I’d never heard of this holiday, prior to your poem and I pray it stays within the borders of the Asiatic countries. Thanks for sharing. Reply Margaret Coats March 18, 2022 Glad you liked the poems, Tamara. The first is a little like Christmas shopping, listing possible gifts that a man might choose for the ladies in his life. The rhyme scheme is that of most French sonnets, abba abba cc deed. It’s based on the Petrarchan or Italian sonnet, with abba abba in the octave, but what’s characteristically French is the rhyming couplet at lines 9 and 10. I chose the French form and used a number of French words (appliqued, suede, fiancee, lingerie, soiree) because Japanese women consider Paris the ideal of romantic elegance. In line 11, I’m considering that the word “feminine” has a light stress on the final syllable, to rhyme with “within” in the last line. Thanks for your interest in the details! Reply Tamara Beryl Latham March 21, 2022 Margaret, yes, I know the Petrarchan sonnet, but I had a senile moment when I was reading your poem and was actually thinking of oblique and critique as pairing rhymes when I got to the word applique. The pronunciation ap-li-kay completely slipped my mind, until I hit the submit button, and then I thought, readymade/applique, but it was too late. We do not have an “edit” link on our replies. I wonder why the word is not spelled appliquet, similar to bouquet and croquet. Yet, I am happy to have received a thorough explanation. 🙂 Valentine’s Day is supposed to involve gift-giving by both sexes, so White Day, if we were to celebrate it in the United States, would be unfair to males, in my opinion. Both poems are examples of your expertise in English literature and now I can clearly see the format of the sonnet: abba, abba with the sestet cdc, cdc. Reply Margaret Coats March 21, 2022 Tamara, I don’t know how it was that Valentine’s Day in Japan came to be a day for women to give men presents and not vice versa, but as long as it is that way, there’s a reason for return gifts to women on White Day. I happened to be living in Japan only a few years after White Day started, and at that time it was especially promoted by florists, with white flowers in return for chocolates that were the typical Valentine present. I support the current turn toward handmade or homemade presents as most meaningful, which is why the man in “White Day Dilemma” decides to give his own calligraphy–maybe even a poem he composes himself. In the United States, we have either a reciprocal Valentine’s Day, with both sexes presenting gifts to one another, or one that is focused on romantic presents for women. Therefore, White Day is unneeded here, and contrary to the interests of men, although I do feel fondly about it as a day showing gratitude for everything truly feminine. We do have Mothers’ Day for that purpose, and motherliness is an archetype of feminine affection for everyone. But the persons who get left out on Valentine’s Day and White Day are the singles with no current love interest. That’s why Koreans came up with Black Day on April 14, for everyone who received no romantic presents on February 14 or March 14. As I told Joseph Salemi above, Black Day has already arrived in California. Young men and women dress in black and go out to eat Korean black-sauce noodles at a party where they commiserate with one another–and maybe find prospects for future romance! Reply Tamara Beryl Latham March 24, 2022 Margaret says: “But the persons who get left out on Valentine’s Day and White Day are the singles with no current love interest. That’s why Koreans came up with Black Day on April 14, for everyone who received no romantic presents on February 14 or March 14.” My reply: LOL! Black Day as in buried or the tomb? Oh, that’s too funny. Maybe a coffin cake gift. 🙂 Next we’ll have “Green Day” for those who missed St. Patrick’s Day’s Pot O’ Gold. Reply Andrew Benson Brown March 25, 2022 Love the rhyme of ‘appliquéd’ with ‘suede’ in the first poem, and the adjective ‘creamy’ attached to the latter makes me, as with the other sensuous objects in this list, want to bathe in liquid candies and flower petals. I wonder if the complaints about gender equality related to White Day are made by the Japanese themselves, or by Westerners who reside there? I am given to understand that wokeness does not infect East Asian countries to the degree it does here, though I only read that somewhere and could be mistaken. Reply Margaret Coats March 25, 2022 Thanks for reading, Andrew! I’m glad you were able to enjoy that first poem. Japanese men who haven’t devoted enough time or thought to their White Day shopping are said to rush through department stores stressed out by it. You are probably right about less wokeness in East Asia than here, although I haven’t traveled widely enough or recently enough to say. Online complaints about White Day come from people with Asian names as well as Anglo names, but individual opinions don’t tell how widely the feeling runs. The complaints are far outnumbered by etiquette instructions on how to observe the day, among which I don’t include sales pitches from merchants. I think this particular holiday has spread because it has some undefined popular appeal that overrides not only wokeness but other kinds of political motivation, such as traditional national antagonisms. I have seen online indications of White Day celebration in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, Hong Kong, and even places in the People’s Republic. Voluntary observance by real individuals certainly outdoes any competition from official holidays such as International Women’s Day on March 8 (a day chosen by Lenin and adopted by the United Nations). Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Roy E. Peterson March 13, 2022 I read your poems more than once to assimilate some of the culturally associated words and meanings. I must say I enjoyed the perspective and expertise you so deftly exhibited. I am left with the thought: I hope his passion prevailed and his artistic abilities made the right impression. Reply
Margaret Coats March 13, 2022 Thanks for reading, Roy. Online discussion emphasizes the impact of a personal, homemade gift. Maybe he should spend his money for a beautiful blank card that suits his writing style. Reply
Brian Yapko March 13, 2022 Margaret, these are both wonderful poems which have some idiosyncratic elements that I really enjoy. Your take on Japanese culture and norms – traditional as well as contemporary – is deeply observant. White Day Shopping is a fun, almost exhaustive, catalog of potential purchase items which are carefully cross-referenced with the status/relationship of the recipient. The giving rule “Gifts must more than repay their valentines” is highlighted in the poem’s only couplet. This is an interesting sonnet form with which I’m unfamiliar – abba abba cc deed. You use this structure to separate categories of love. Non-romantic relationships makes up the text before the couplet and the post-couplet is reserved for romantic love with the final line at last signaling the point of this shopping spree – the expression of the speaker’s “manly gratitude.” White Day Dilemma almost presents a closeup of the last quatrain of White Day Shopping as it focuses on a somewhat unsatisfactory romance that carries hope but seems to lack conviction. The rhyme scheme in which only the 2nd and 4th line of each stanza rhyme seems to reflect this disjointed communication between the protagonist and his hoped for sweetheart. Furthermore, so much of the focus on this poem is transactional – the unevenness of the quid pro quo between “him” and “her.” Like Roy, I greatly enjoy the specific cultural references which bring us into a somewhat unfamiliar world, yet I think everyone can relate to the anxiety of getting it right – the gift, meeting expectations without too much commitment, assessing the relationship itself. We never get a sense of whether these people are in love, or whether they are nice and deserve to be in love. This places a glaring spotlight on transactionality which seems to be a bit romance-deficient. But then there is that final stanza… The final stanza is particularly ingenious as the speaker is lifted out of the transactional and into a higher realm of art. It is only in the last line – when art is brought into the picture – that passion also becomes a possibility. I find myself hoping that the protagonist will find some joy in whatever he chooses. This is a fine, subtle poetic observation which I have greatly enjoyed reading and re-reading. Reply
Margaret Coats March 14, 2022 Brian, thanks as always for your careful reading! “White Day Shopping” uses the rhyme scheme most often used by French sonnet writers (see more at my last year’s Easter Season Sonnets, translated from Anne de Marquets). I chose that form, and used several French words, because Paris is the ideal of romantic elegance to Japanese women. And the sonnet only lists a selection of possible gifts. If a gift itself is not white, the storekeeper can offer it in a pretty box with white ribbon and a “Happy White Day” tag. You are right that White Day, like Valentine’s Day, makes a distinction between “true love” gifts and duty gifts, as I did in my sonnet. Both are important. “Duty” is not a painful duty, but a way of keeping up friendship, neighborliness, and family and business and school associations. I love Japanese culture for its concern with these things, and for the close-to-universal understanding of symbols operative in gift giving and other courtesies. A gift on Valentine’s Day or White Day symbolizes the personal interaction of giver and receiver, which is why you have to be careful in what you give and how much it costs. In “White Day Dilemma,” the lady gave a valentine duty gift worth 500 yen, or less than 5 dollars, appropriate for a co-worker. But the man discourteously lets it sit on his desk until she shows her displeasure. What I’m trying to represent here is interaction that may move them toward a romantic relationship. But she doesn’t want to make advances that may be rejected, and he is both inarticulate and unsure if he wants change. We can all sympathize, but Japanese manners and language require things to proceed only on a basis of mutual agreement. This was one of the most fascinating things I learned in Japan. The verb of any sentence comes at the end, and if a speaker can see by facial expressions and body language that the other person is not in full agreement with him, he can negate his sentence at the last moment, just to achieve agreement in the negation! I adore this culture of indirection and symbolism focused, ultimately, on finding whatever is comfortably agreeable. In “A White Day Dilemma,” I leave that to the two characters and to the imagination of my readers. The man has discovered that he may want to make the relationship with his female co-worker more personal, by giving her some of his expert calligraphy. “Running grass” is an advanced, difficult, but extraordinarily beautiful style. When she says, “Your passion may prevail,” she could mean his passion for calligraphy. But how? It’s up to them and to you, who have read quite well! Reply
Yael March 13, 2022 White Day, something new I learned today, thank you Margaret. I enjoyed both poems for all the reasons which Roy and Brian so eloquently stated above, and also because I like to learn a new thing every day to widen my horizon. Your comment about the condemnation of White Day as a barrier to gender equality also got me thinking; if the two genders were truly equal, then Valentine’s Day more than likely would not have been invented in the first place. Reply
Margaret Coats March 14, 2022 Yael, thanks for reading and thinking! I have seen articles complaining that women do not need White Day gifts; they need better jobs, higher pay, etc. But how are those things going to be achieved for women in general by doing away with a day when men show manly gratitude to the individual women in their lives? The nasty thing about so-called gender equality is that it abandons individuality, and hopes to replace it with equal conformity to some unrealistic stereotype. Let’s enjoy pleasant customs that can make each of us happier in unique little ways! I really liked that kumquat kikandaifuku my husband brought me. Reply
James Sale March 17, 2022 Two wonderful poems, Margaret, full of charm and grace, as well as deep technique. And I admire you for resisting the simplistic and false notions of feminism and also all equality movements, for they promote self-satisfaction, virtue-signalling, victimhood and disempowerment whilst simultaneously destroying joy, generosity and all the little acts of charity that bind people together. Thanks.
Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 James, please excuse my little error in replying to you. The return comment is below Joseph Salemi’s.
Joseph S. Salemi March 17, 2022 Why should feminists object to White Day, when it is merely a reciprocating gesture for what was given on Valentine’s Day? Isn’t it an instance of gender equality, since it can be seen as a mutual exchange? It only confirms what Ernest Belfort Bax said about feminism back in 1913: it’s not about equality at all, but about the exaltation of female privilege. Reply
Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 Joe, White Day could be seen as a day of mutual exchange, but I think we know feminists object to any mutuality based on the inescapable differences between the sexes. Their kind of angry thinking finds no equality where there is not indistinguishable sameness. And that’s just impossible. Moreover, White Day is not an equal exchange. A man returns gifts only to women who gave him valentines, but he is supposed to spend two to three times as much as they did. Spending about the same is considered a slight. Feminists could see the customary higher expenditure as female privilege if they liked, but won’t they rather call it systemic sexism, presuming that men will always be higher paid? Reply
Joseph S. Salemi March 17, 2022 Yes, but that’s what Bax was driving at. Certainly the man gives White Day gifts only to the women who gave him presents on Valentine’s Day –how is he supposed to give gifts to women who DIDN’T send him a present? This strikes me as the resentment of women who aren’t involved with anyone, and who therefore hate the very idea of romantically tinged gift exchanges in which they have no part. As for being “slighted” if the man does not give a present of much greater value than the one he received, this is just the rage of offended female privilege. Yes, men may be paid at a wage-rate higher than some women, but a man smitten with a woman will tend break the bank to give her presents that show the intensity of his love. If he can’t, it may just be that he’s financially strapped. But for women to EXPECT him to splurge (just because some rapacious businessmen thought up “White Day”) it is just another instance of the ingrained sense of female privilege. The real culprit behind all this is rampant capitalism, which preys upon human feelings to generate occasions that require cash outlays for gifts and cards and flowers — Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Secretaries’ Day, commercialized Christmas, Sweet Sixteen parties, etc. Convincing women that they should receive a gift several times the value of what they sent to men was a brilliant ploy — make use of female privilege to compel larger purchases! As for gender feminists, my opinion is that what they would really like is White Day institutionalized as a requirement for all men in regard to all women, with Valentine’s Day abolished as a relic of Christian superstition and the male objectification of women. That, for them, would be “equality.”
Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 Joe, you outdo Bax in your analysis of what feminists really want. He was perceptive, but in 1913 he didn’t see the patent and incurable feminist rage we have seen more recently. And about persons resentful of romantically tinged gift exchanges, let me tell you about Black Day on April 14. It emerged in Korea, where young adults of either sex, who lack a boyfriend or girlfriend, get together in a bar or restaurant to lament their loveless state with a meal of noodles in black sauce. The idea has crossed the Pacific and been taken up by Californians, who may make the occasion a picnic in a park or on the beach. Maybe this year there will also be some frustration expressed against mandated restrictions on social gatherings. Reply
Margaret Coats March 17, 2022 Thanks, James, for your compliments on the poems, and for your succinct analysis of the social poisons spread by equality movements. I think White Day blossomed in the Asian gift-giving cultures not just because merchants made money, but because everyone understood the importance of the tokens. The initial spark was a woman writing to a major newspaper, complaining that only men received Valentine chocolates. She said she would rather have a marshmallow in return than nothing at all. And that’s a striking statement, as marshmallows (because they melt in a messy way) symbolize the desire to dissolve a relationship! Reply
Tamara Beryl Latham March 18, 2022 Margaret, both of your poems were well constructed, but my favorite was the second one, “A White Day Dilemma.” Although I like the content, tone and imagery of “White Day Shopping,” since it reminds me a little of “Christmas,” I can’t figure out the rhyme scheme in this sonnet. The first two verses are abbd and abba. And did you deliberately introduce a feminine ending in L11 to tie in with feminists/feminism? 🙂 A White Day Dilemma exemplifies your expertise with words by delivering a powerful poem in the form of rhyming quatrains. I’d never heard of this holiday, prior to your poem and I pray it stays within the borders of the Asiatic countries. Thanks for sharing. Reply
Margaret Coats March 18, 2022 Glad you liked the poems, Tamara. The first is a little like Christmas shopping, listing possible gifts that a man might choose for the ladies in his life. The rhyme scheme is that of most French sonnets, abba abba cc deed. It’s based on the Petrarchan or Italian sonnet, with abba abba in the octave, but what’s characteristically French is the rhyming couplet at lines 9 and 10. I chose the French form and used a number of French words (appliqued, suede, fiancee, lingerie, soiree) because Japanese women consider Paris the ideal of romantic elegance. In line 11, I’m considering that the word “feminine” has a light stress on the final syllable, to rhyme with “within” in the last line. Thanks for your interest in the details! Reply
Tamara Beryl Latham March 21, 2022 Margaret, yes, I know the Petrarchan sonnet, but I had a senile moment when I was reading your poem and was actually thinking of oblique and critique as pairing rhymes when I got to the word applique. The pronunciation ap-li-kay completely slipped my mind, until I hit the submit button, and then I thought, readymade/applique, but it was too late. We do not have an “edit” link on our replies. I wonder why the word is not spelled appliquet, similar to bouquet and croquet. Yet, I am happy to have received a thorough explanation. 🙂 Valentine’s Day is supposed to involve gift-giving by both sexes, so White Day, if we were to celebrate it in the United States, would be unfair to males, in my opinion. Both poems are examples of your expertise in English literature and now I can clearly see the format of the sonnet: abba, abba with the sestet cdc, cdc. Reply
Margaret Coats March 21, 2022 Tamara, I don’t know how it was that Valentine’s Day in Japan came to be a day for women to give men presents and not vice versa, but as long as it is that way, there’s a reason for return gifts to women on White Day. I happened to be living in Japan only a few years after White Day started, and at that time it was especially promoted by florists, with white flowers in return for chocolates that were the typical Valentine present. I support the current turn toward handmade or homemade presents as most meaningful, which is why the man in “White Day Dilemma” decides to give his own calligraphy–maybe even a poem he composes himself. In the United States, we have either a reciprocal Valentine’s Day, with both sexes presenting gifts to one another, or one that is focused on romantic presents for women. Therefore, White Day is unneeded here, and contrary to the interests of men, although I do feel fondly about it as a day showing gratitude for everything truly feminine. We do have Mothers’ Day for that purpose, and motherliness is an archetype of feminine affection for everyone. But the persons who get left out on Valentine’s Day and White Day are the singles with no current love interest. That’s why Koreans came up with Black Day on April 14, for everyone who received no romantic presents on February 14 or March 14. As I told Joseph Salemi above, Black Day has already arrived in California. Young men and women dress in black and go out to eat Korean black-sauce noodles at a party where they commiserate with one another–and maybe find prospects for future romance! Reply
Tamara Beryl Latham March 24, 2022 Margaret says: “But the persons who get left out on Valentine’s Day and White Day are the singles with no current love interest. That’s why Koreans came up with Black Day on April 14, for everyone who received no romantic presents on February 14 or March 14.” My reply: LOL! Black Day as in buried or the tomb? Oh, that’s too funny. Maybe a coffin cake gift. 🙂 Next we’ll have “Green Day” for those who missed St. Patrick’s Day’s Pot O’ Gold. Reply
Andrew Benson Brown March 25, 2022 Love the rhyme of ‘appliquéd’ with ‘suede’ in the first poem, and the adjective ‘creamy’ attached to the latter makes me, as with the other sensuous objects in this list, want to bathe in liquid candies and flower petals. I wonder if the complaints about gender equality related to White Day are made by the Japanese themselves, or by Westerners who reside there? I am given to understand that wokeness does not infect East Asian countries to the degree it does here, though I only read that somewhere and could be mistaken. Reply
Margaret Coats March 25, 2022 Thanks for reading, Andrew! I’m glad you were able to enjoy that first poem. Japanese men who haven’t devoted enough time or thought to their White Day shopping are said to rush through department stores stressed out by it. You are probably right about less wokeness in East Asia than here, although I haven’t traveled widely enough or recently enough to say. Online complaints about White Day come from people with Asian names as well as Anglo names, but individual opinions don’t tell how widely the feeling runs. The complaints are far outnumbered by etiquette instructions on how to observe the day, among which I don’t include sales pitches from merchants. I think this particular holiday has spread because it has some undefined popular appeal that overrides not only wokeness but other kinds of political motivation, such as traditional national antagonisms. I have seen online indications of White Day celebration in Japan, Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, Hong Kong, and even places in the People’s Republic. Voluntary observance by real individuals certainly outdoes any competition from official holidays such as International Women’s Day on March 8 (a day chosen by Lenin and adopted by the United Nations). Reply
