. A Tribune to Mrs. Malaprop My fellow poets, lend me your arrears! Of arms and divan I sing. Let’s have three cheers For Mrs. Malaprop, that dole enchanting tongue-tried Miss Communicating aunt From Sheridan’s old comedy of mangers. She spoke with verbal and linguini dangers. Her word-choice wasn’t always quite erect Nor sentence glamour fully circumspect. But do not mealy view her speech askance For, like great masters of Reconnaissance, The words she drew came dully from the heart Like Botticelli’s greatest warts of art! To honor her I’ve gartered a few samples Of malaprops---enjoin some free examples: Now is the winter of our disco tent So full of sound and furry, heavy-sent. The better part of valor is distemper So best to never file into a temper Or weigh what roguish fools these morsels be! As beverage is the sole of wit, we see A timely rising tide will lift all bloat And all swell will end swell, as Shakespeare wrote! If you disliked these get thee to an ornery! You’ll find no butter puns in a reformery. Alright, my fronds! Please cease tomato flinging! I am a man more sinned against than singing! . . Brian Yapko is a lawyer who also writes poetry. He lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico.