‘My No-Show Foes’ and Other Poetry by C.B. Anderson The Society August 11, 2022 Humor, Poetry 10 Comments . My No-Show Foes I whet my blade, anticipating mayhem. My enemies just whet their appetite On what they hope my manager will pay them For throwing down their knives without a fight. I hone my wits in expectation of A battle of the minds, but my opponents Enumerate the many ways they love My thought progressions, over joe and doughnuts. We bruise and bleed alike, and we are always Emoting, but our feelings travel down Dissimilar predestined routes, down hallways Of separate buildings in a border town. My secret weapon is a cattle prod; The stomach to employ it is another. It doesn’t pay to run afoul of God, Not even if you style yourself his brother, As I have done. Though God and I see eye- To-eye on many issues, sometimes there’s Too little nuts-and-bolts and too much sky. If I don’t get to fight today, who cares? . . Regarding Becky The reason boys are born is to subserve Alluring girls who truly rule the roost. Those gifted lads adept at throwing curve Balls, confident the lass will be seduced By sleighty moves and give her body up To belt-high heat, are rare exceptions—to A point. They too will drink the bitter cup When held accountable for what they do. It works like this: The favors that you get, The fun you thought was unencumbered sex, Will later make you wish you’d never met Her. Yesterday I ran into my ex And found that many strings were still attached. That cloudy day when she and I first kissed, I’d known already we were poorly matched, But nonetheless pressed forward and dismissed My scruples. There’s a saying often heard Yet seldom lived by: Do ye unto others … You know the rest. Remember that the bird You’ve flown with is the daughter of your druthers, A harpy with a healthy appetite; Eat crow if she turns out to be a lawyer Who hates to lose. On any given night, Few men can hold a candle to Tom Sawyer. . . C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden. Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India. His collection, Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder was published in 2013 by White Violet Press. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. NOTE TO POETS: The Society considers this page, where your poetry resides, to be your residence as well, where you may invite family, friends, and others to visit. Feel free to treat this page as your home and remove anyone here who disrespects you. Simply send an email to email@example.com. Put “Remove Comment” in the subject line and list which comments you would like removed. The Society does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or comments and reserves the right to remove any comments to maintain the decorum of this website and the integrity of the Society. Please see our Comments Policy here. CODEC News:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 10 Responses Stephen Dickey August 11, 2022 Kip, I really like both of these, which I think are brilliant treatments of their themes, indeed the theme of the first is nothing I have seen before in poetry. Reply C.B. Anderson August 12, 2022 Who says, Stephen, that there’s nothing new under the sun? Reply Roy E. Peterson August 12, 2022 I am still musing over and amused by “My No-Show Foes.” Being from a border state, I have images of Clint Eastwood ready for a knife fight. “Regarding Becky” feels all too familiar. I met my ex twenty years later in a video deposition for court! As you always do, well done treatments of interesting subjects. Reply C.B. Anderson August 12, 2022 That’s peculiar, Roy. I’ve seen a lot of Clint Eastwood, and knives have never been his thing. Becky is, of course, the archetypical young maiden met during times of duress. Reply Jeremiah Johnson August 12, 2022 Somehow, “My No-Show Foes” made me think of G.K. Chesterton and C.S. Lewis – their true enjoyment of verbal sparring with both those of similar beliefs to their own and of dissimilar; their ability to be civil and even, on occasion, develop friendships with their opponents, something we can’t seem to do in contemporary western culture. Reply C.B. Anderson August 12, 2022 Yes, Jeremiah, and think of the Inklings, of which Lewis was an important member. Reply Paul Freeman August 12, 2022 Using ‘opponents’ and ‘doughnuts’ as (half-)rhymes was a masterstroke. As for ‘belt-high heat’… what a great euphemism. Thanks for the reads. Reply C.B. Anderson August 12, 2022 I am seriously glad, Paul, to have amused you. Reply Joseph S. Salemi August 12, 2022 “…and give her body up To belt-high heat” What a great metaphor for sex! Reply C.B. Anderson August 12, 2022 And of course in baseball, Joseph, “belt-high heat” just means a fastball right down the middle. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.