.

Thank You Note from an
Assisted Living Facility

Thank you for the Happy Birthday.
Never thought I’d live this long.
Though my hair is turning gray
I still can hear a clanging gong.

I thought my cake was set on fire.
Ran and set off the alarm.
Thought the situation dire.
Doused the candles. Did no harm.

Someone spiked the punch with white rum.
I began to dance about.
Thought a present made a great drum.
Started singing at a shout.

Conga line was filled with grannies.
Had to join the dancing throng.
They came out of nooks and crannies.
Conga beat kept going strong.

Never saw so many purses
Flying through the festive air.
Finally, was grabbed by nurses.
Tied me to an easy chair.

I can’t wait for my next birthday.
Have to rest up for a year.
But for now, I need an x-ray.
Told me I had too much cheer.

.

.

Growing Older

I am growing older
Like all mortal men.
Things were so much better
When I was young “back then.”

I look over my shoulder,
My neck begins to hurt.
The young girls turn away
When I try to flirt.

Now trifles bother me.
When will they go away?
It seems I’ve more of them
Than I had yesterday.

I had a hip replacement,
New teeth implanted too.
Now my shoulder’s hurting—
Oh Lord, what shall I do?

When did they make the lids
On glass jars super tight?
When was the last time that
I slept on through the night?

Life keeps getting harder
The older that I get.
My mind keeps taunting me,
“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.”

.

.

LTC Roy E. Peterson is a writer, retired U.S. Army Military Intelligence Officer, Foreign Area Officer, and Foreign Commercial Officer who currently resides in Texas.

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18 Responses

  1. Dan Ward

    Thanks for the laughs. I’m rapidly approaching the point where I’ll be joining in on the conga line.

    Reply
  4. Cheryl Corey

    Roy, your first poem made me think of the old Twilight Zone episode “Kick The Can” where one elderly man urges others to go outside and play kick the can, whereupon they all revert to being children. I also love the second poem, especially the last two stanzas.

    Reply
    • Roy E. Peterson

      That seems like a fun episode, Cheryl! Thank you for the comments.

      Reply
  5. Sally Cook

    Dear Roy —
    If all of us could stop and stay
    As we once were, we wouldn’t mind

    If our weak points remain in play
    At least at minimum, I’d say
    OK. Still, God will take us back
    No matter what we’ve lost, or lack.

    Reply
  7. Jeff Eardley

    Roy, great stuff that can only be appreciated by the “crumbly” generation. I can identify with both poems, that I probably will have forgotten by tomorrow, such is the way with being 70+. As the great jazz singer, George Melley, once remarked, ” The best thing about Alzheimers is that every day you make new friends.” A great fun read, thank you.

    Reply
    • Roy E. Peterson

      Jeff, your comments reflect my spirit, since I too am headed for such a time.

      Reply
  8. Margaret Coats

    Roy, I really didn’t know what to make of the “Thank You Note,” with so many little oddities of meter, syntax, and line length. But I get it! The guy had so much cheer it’s still in his system days and maybe weeks later. For the sake of poetry, I’m glad you’re not there yet. May we all stay cheerful and creative despite trifles bothering us!

    Reply
    • Roy E. Peterson

      Margaret, thank you for getting past the oddities. I have the same feeling of wanting to enjoy my later years in life.

      Reply
  9. Norma Pain

    The only way to get through the aging process is with as much laughter as possible and your two poems today bring us plenty of giggles. Thank you for the chuckles Roy.

    Reply

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