"Jack Sprat and His Wife" by Frederick Richardson‘Food for Thought’ and Other Food-Related Poetry by Anna J. Arredondo The Society September 1, 2022 Beauty, Culture, Humor, Limerick, Poetry 22 Comments . Food for Thought A Culinary Tale There once was a man wan and pallid, he Suffered from a mysterious malady: __He ate carrots and greens, __Ripe tomatoes and beans, But eschewed anything that’s not salad-y. Now his wife, she was plump, but quite purty, Euphemistically “big-boned” or “sturdy”; __Which is no great surprise, __Since her diet of pies, Cakes, and cookies was strictly dessert-y. Someone wisely suggested combining Their respective odd habits of dining: __Then his cheeks they grew pink __And her girth it did shrink— The result of their palates’ refining. . . Looking-glass Lament There once was a girl who, no matter What she chose from her wardrobe to flatter __Her plump figure, she failed, __So in anguish she wailed, “Why does everything make me look fatter?!” . . Of Vice and Vittles I’ve kept away from drugs and smoking, Avoided gambling and drinking, But I’ve been caught, I say—no joking. I’d missed this trap, through all my thinking, But I can tell you with conviction It’s something quite beyond all treating, Because my vice and my addiction Is simply that of social eating! . . Spice of Life Variety may be the spice of life, Ensuring that our days are not too bland, But for a solid base to build upon, I think consistency is also grand. It’s fortunate the two pair up quite well; Just one without the other won’t suffice: Variety’s whatever you cook up, Consistency—that plain old bed of rice. . . A Pennsylvania native now residing in Colorado, Anna J. Arredondo is an engineer by education, a home educator by choice, and by preference, a poet. She also has poems published in Light, The Lyric, and Time of Singing. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. 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CODEC News:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email this to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 22 Responses Lawrence Fray September 1, 2022 Great cheery verses—thank you! I ‘ll declaim them to my middle school class, too! Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Lawrence, Thanks for your comment! I hope your class received them well. What do you teach? Reply Lannie David Brockstein September 1, 2022 The classicist ideal of beauty is a voluptuous woman, as is historically depicted in classical paintings and sculptures, unlike the modernist ideal of “Twiggy”. The narration in this historical news footage from the 1960s of her begins with “Girls are to look even more like boys.”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1jrUADTpdDs Unlike the gender confused modernists whose production of hormones has been artificially changed by Big Pharma’s endocrine disrupting pollutants, we classicist men love the ideal of women being “plump, but quite purty”—as G-d designed the fairer sex to be. Reply Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2022 A woman without curves Gets on my nerves. Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 1, 2022 But curves (plural) can only be found On shapes other than “stick thin” and “round.” One’s proportions, I deem, May avoid each extreme — There’s a middle somewhere, I propound. Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2022 It’s OK if her middle is thin, Like her fingers, her nose, or each shin. But her bosom and rump Should be rounded and plump Because those are the gateways to sin. Anna J. Arredondo September 1, 2022 🙂 Thus, For the woman of form AND persuasion, Where monogamy joins the equation, She must have wit and strength To maintain at arm’s length Those who’d think her gates apt for invasion. Roy E. Peterson September 1, 2022 Anna, I love your wit and wisdom combined on a silver platter. I immensely enjoyed these rollicking verses. I have several foody poems and may try to post them someday. These encouraged me to do so. Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Thanks for the comment, Roy! I look forward to reading your foody poems someday soon. Reply Sally Cook September 1, 2022 Hi, Anna – Had something ready to send, and the horrible machine completely destroyed it. Just to say that to my mind poets who love food are the best poets; You are one such poet. So, I conclude that I must be brief; Computer is a clever thief A fake, a fraud, and we’ve been had And double-crossed, which would be bad Enough if we had not lost our minds Among bad spuds and grapefruit rinds. Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Sally, Thanks for your comment. Your poetic complaint resonates with me as well. 🙂 Sometimes you have to pull the plug When your machine’s a meddling thug. There’s hope we’ll find our minds again By taking up notebook and pen! Reply Satyananda Sarangi September 2, 2022 Food and poetry go hand in hand. Delicious poems! Thanks for sharing. Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Yes, they do. 🙂 Thanks, Satyananda! Reply Cynthia Erlandson September 2, 2022 Anna, these are all tons of fun, but especially “A Culinary Tale”! Pallid-he/malady/salady is hilarious, as is purty/sturdy/desserty. “Euphemistically big-boned or sturdy” not only made me laugh, but it displays the anapestic meter so well. (I also smiled at your additions in the comments above.) I hope your home-schoolers have picked up your writing talent. I’m sure your sense of humor must help them to enjoy school. Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Cynthia, Thank you for your feedback. A Culinary Tale was loads of fun to write, and I love the picture Evan chose to post with it! “Euphemistically” and so many other nice big ‘intellectual’ words are great invitations to write a limerick. 🙂 All three of my kids have tried their hand at poetry here and there, and I definitely squeeze in little lessons when I have the opportunity. But perhaps it’s my example that has more influence — two days ago my youngest (9yo) showed me, with great pride, a short (coincidentally food -related) poem he wrote in his little pocket-sized notebook, like the kind I carry around everywhere. I have high hopes for all of them! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2022 Anna, I love your creative romp through the culinary labyrinths of delights and downfalls of diet. I love the innovative employment of the ‘y’ in “Food for Thought” – my favorite! Sharing a bed and a dinner plate is the way to go! “Spice of Life” reminds me of a wonderful poem called “Bitcherel” by Eleanor Brown. I love fun poems, and these are huge fun! Thank you! Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Susan, thanks for your comment! I’m not acquainted with that poem, I’ll have to check it out. Reply Guy Warner September 2, 2022 That second one made me laugh, nice job Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 3, 2022 Thanks Guy, I’m glad to hear it! Reply Allegra Silberstein September 4, 2022 You bring delight to body and mind…and a great way to romp in this food for my day! Reply C.B. Anderson September 9, 2022 These poems need some work. Reply Anna J. Arredondo September 9, 2022 C.B., What are (some of) the specific spots/issues that you see? Upon rereading them just now (and based on your past critiques of some of the poems on this site) there are one or two things I suspect you might take issue with… But I can’t do too much with the general comment vaguely applied to all four of them. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.