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Green Energy

with apologies to Dr. Seuss

I do not like green energy
Don’t subsidize it, AOC.

I do not like it in the dark,
My solar panels will not spark.
I do not like it with no breeze,
Wind generators tend to freeze.

I do not like green energy,
I can’t afford new batteries.

Those Kids who toil in mud to mine
The minerals to be refined
By China into batteries—
No, they don’t like green energy.

I do not like green energy,
It’s not there when it needs to be.

I cannot own an I-C-E*
I cannot charge my new EV*
I cannot wash or dry my clothes
These rolling blackouts I oppose

I do not like green energy
It’s ruining our economy

Joe Biden’s war on fossil fuels
Proves he’s more stubborn than a mule.
The cost of oil and gas increased—
Our low inflation’s now deceased.

I do not like green energy,
Don’t subsidize it, AOC.

.

ICE: internal combustion engine
EV: electric vehicle

.

.

Dan Ward is a retired engineer now living in Texas.

NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets.

The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.


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35 Responses

  2. Cynthia Erlandson

    A great idea with an important statement that also makes the reader laugh! Thank you, Dan!

    Reply
    • Dan Ward

      When I was living in Arizona a California billionaire managed to get a “green energy” mandate on our ballot as a proposition. We dodged a bullet by voting it down.

      Reply
    • Adam Wasem

      More than that, the spooky thing about the Californians is that, at this point, they don’t even see a problem. They unthinkingly and unprotestingly acquiesce to every Green Newsom diktat. My wife and I had to spend the night in an LA hotel at the tail end of their last heat wave, and the hotel just shut off our air conditioning at night, without even telling us they were doing it, let alone asking us. Not somebody’s house, a hotel, where we paid to sleep in comfort. It wasn’t even a requirement, just a government recommendation in case of more rolling blackouts, but they did it anyway. And have you heard any complaints from Californians since, at having to try to sleep in 85-degree heat for the sake of Newsom’s Green obsession? Nope, not a peep.

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi

        California has always attracted a lot of crackpots and fantasists. Newsom is just the latest example, and he’s supported by his like-minded dim-wits.

  7. Norma Pain

    This is clever and right on the mark. It would make a great book for school libraries if it could get past the public schools thought police. Thank you Dan.

    Reply
  9. Paul Freeman

    A well-worked satire. However, you could equally say:

    I do not like green energy
    Said Shell and BP…

    Thanks for the read, Dan.

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      Actually, Paul, I must disagree with you. Shell and British Petroleum and ADNOC and almost every other oil company, whether privately owned, corporate owned or owned by a country like Abu Dhabi, have vast investments in “Green” energy. Why? Because you can sell the intermittent, resource-pillaging energy at highly inflated prices! “Green” energy is simply a partnership between governments and corporations… in times past, those partnerships were called fascism. Now, though, they are not even fascist-adjacent because the World Economic Forum has convinced governments and corporations that these partnerships will guarantee them a thousand years of power and wealth.

      Reply
      • Mike Bryant

        So… oil companies LOVE green energy, it’s just the folks that get the short end of the stick.

    • Dan Ward

      You’re welcome Paul. I can tell you both BP and Shell are making major investments in green energy. This winter, Europe will probably be wishing they had access to more affordable, clean burning natural gas produced domestically, or nuclear power, instead.

      Reply
      • Paul Freeman

        A harsh winter doesn’t bear thinking about. Added into the mix is the World Cup and peak demand, half-time cups of tea.

  10. Talbot

    I’ve always been pleasantly surprised about the fact that my conservative farming relatives have embraced solar so emphatically (bit more mixed on wind, though); it really depends on one’s framing device: if it’s about climate change, they’re a bit skeptical, but if it’s about energy independence, self-sufficiency, and cleaner soil and air, they’re all on board. Just an interesting observation.

    (Even though I don’t necessarily agree with all the opinions in the poem, it still got a chuckle out of me in several places! Thanks for that!)

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      I agree, Talbot. Solar and wind energy are absolutely crucial when you need energy off-grid. If you want to keep a pond full in Texas, you better have a windmill or a solar powered water pump. It’s only when big government starts mandating things that costs get out of hand.

      Reply
      • Talbot

        There’s probably some daylight between us in terms of mandates/incentives (I view the latter as almost wholly positive), but I do support general research into these things whether by private entities or the government; I take a rather long view of humanity’s enterprise here on our little blue marble, and I think it fairly clear we’ll need to transition to other sources of clean energy at some point. (Again, framing this as energy independence also does some work on my brain.)

        We’ll see what we decide societally about nuclear pretty soon, I’d say . . .

      • Mike Bryant

        I agree that nuclear will be part of our future. Incentives can work as long as the bureaucrats don’t have their fingers in the pie. The net zero idea is a non starter… their just is not enough “renewable” energy unless we are willing to see a huge die off.

  11. Mike Bryant

    I have a feeling that Dr. Seuss would love this poem AND completely agree with it… just like I do. It was hard to fool those old-timers.

    Reply
  12. Joseph S. Salemi

    France normally gets nearly three quarters of its electricity from fast-breeder nuclear reactors. It even markets its superabundant electricity to other nations at a great profit. But now, with political pressure from Green and enviromentalist fanatics, there is a movement to shut those reactors down for good.

    Can you say “Suicide of the West”?

    Reply
  13. Roy E. Peterson

    Wonderful concept for a poem on a critical political and social disaster. The message comes through loudly and clearly for those who have some semblance of logic and understanding. Unfortunately, climate nuts will still stick to their fairytales. Loved the poem! I read some great comments, as well.

    Reply
  14. Joshua C. Frank

    Love the satire, Dan! The only problem is that the analogy with Green Eggs and Ham invites the idea that if you try green energy, you’ll like it. But, as you point out, we have tried it and found it wanting. Other than this, it’s great.

    Reply
    • Dan Ward

      You make a valid point, and it occurred to me as well. However I decided not to let it be a show stopper. Thanks for your comments.

      Reply
  15. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Dan, I love this. It gets a grave point across clearly, concisely and with tongue-in-cheek hilarity… it’s my kinda poem!

    Reply
  16. Margaret Coats

    Thanks for the poem, Dan. “It’s not there when it needs to be” is a real problem, as is the fragility of devices. And if home sources are hooked up to the grid, they can be affected by grid outages.

    Much of my town had no electricity for a week last January, due to the very minor disaster of a windstorm downing trees. Some neighbors using gasoline-powered chainsaws cleared streets in the immediate area within a few hours, though the debris sat roadside, waiting to be picked up, for several days. I was very thankful for my gas stove, but decided to move a bit more into solar. Bought a sun kettle from a self-reliance company. It was advertised to boil 2 cups of water “within minutes.” According to instructions on the box, that meant 45 minutes. With the thing set up, it takes 120 minutes on a sunny day. I’m glad to have it and to know how to use it, but it is made of glass and thus liable to accidents. As for whole-house solar panels that are outside all the time, squirrels can break them, possums can nest underneath, and they need to be cleaned of accumulated dirt and bird droppings.

    Reply

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