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A Right Royal Circus

a villanelle 

Roll up! Roll up! Come hear the desperate call
Of sparkless Markle and her spurned buffoon.
With pleas for privacy, they welcome all.

They welcome all like flies upon a wall
To witness tears—a crocodile monsoon.
Roll up! Roll up! Come hear their desperate call!

Hear snarky snitchers drunk on glitz and gall
Grousing in their mansion house cocoon.
With pleas for privacy, they welcome all.

See victims of a callous palace brawl,
A yowling mouth and tarnished silver spoon.
Roll up! Roll up! Come hear their desperate call!

Watch them wail and whine about their fall
From princely heights that promised them the moon.
With pleas for privacy, they welcome all.

Tune in to hear them bleat and bitch and bawl
On Netflix in a series airing soon.
Roll up! Roll up! Come hear their desperate call!
With pleas for privacy, they welcome all.

.

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Susan Jarvis Bryant has poetry published on Lighten Up Online, Snakeskin, Light, Sparks of Calliope, and Expansive Poetry Online. She also has poetry published in TRINACRIA, Beth Houston’s Extreme Formal Poems anthology, and in Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets in the UK). Susan is the winner of the 2020 International SCP Poetry Competition, and has been nominated for the 2022 Pushcart Prize.

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54 Responses

  1. Paul Freeman

    ‘…a crocodile monsoon.’ Love it.

    It certainly is a sad circus – and lucrative.

    Thanks for an entertaining read, Susan.

    Reply
    • David Etchell

      usual wit and perceptiveness. I have no interest in watching it. But I am pretty sure that once this average actress has monetised the arse out of her victimhood etc she will then monetise the arse out of her divorce from the renegade red headed dork.

      Reply
      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Dave, thank you very much! I am certain you are spot-on with your observation… this relationship is built on the shaky foundations of love of lucre and fame, which spells misery. The trailer was miserable enough for me… I’m into happy endings when it comes to entertainment these days. I’ll definitely give these two wacky whingers a wide berth.

    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you, Paul. I’m glad you enjoyed it. It is sad. “The poor, hard done by ginger whinger has to make a crust somehow” I spit with a sarky sneer.

      Reply
  2. Julian D. Woodruff

    A crocodile monsoon–perfect, Susan. You give this pair what they deserve–no, more than they deserve. Another high water markle in fun satiric savagery.
    But you mean “bleat and bitch and bawl,” I hope.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Julian, I’m thrilled you like it and thank you for pointing out my embarrassing error… the perks of being married to the moderator means he can fix my slip up quickly! (Thank you, Mike!). I love your “high water markle in fun satiric savagery” remark… worthy of a poem in its own right!

      Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, Paul! These grouchy, greedy grotesques begged for a poem… I simply couldn’t resist.

      Reply
  4. Joshua C. Frank

    Great one! I found myself laughing through it all, because that’s practically every reality show ever made! This kind of thing is why I don’t care for such shows myself…

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Josh, I’m glad to have made you laugh. If I were a fly on the wall of this madhouse, being squished would be preferable to the self-absorbed simpering on display.

      Reply
  5. Sally Cook

    Oh yes, Susan, these desperate darlings plead for privacy while asking for attention. They don’t know what they want! Perhaps everything with with a cherry on top ?
    Thank you for calling attention to them in precisely the manner in which they deserve.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Sally, you are so right. Some greedy, needy people can have their cake and eat it (icing, cherries and all), and still claim they’re starving… let’s hope such insatiable appetites for attention choke on the cherry pips… soon!!

      Reply
  6. Joseph S. Salemi

    It’s hard to use the villanelle form for fierce satire, but (once again!) Susan Bryant shows us how it can be done. Brava, signora!

    It’s staggering that this ditz-brained duo of Harry and Meghan (I guess you could call them The Two Stooges) are totally unaware of the picture of themselves that they are painting for the world. Selfish, whining, overentitled, air-heads, and a disgrace to the House of Windsor.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Joe, thank you! I love the lilting repetition of a villanelle to get home a hard-hitting point. This form suited the subject matter perfectly. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it… and I didn’t even have to watch the show to know exactly how it’s going to pan out… the “ditz-brained duo” will make a royal mess of playing victim to an audience who can barely afford to pay their Nexflix subscription in times of outrageous inflation. They’re about to make yet another royal cock-up of things. Let’s hope it’s the last we see of them.

      Reply
      • Damian Robin

        ” I didn’t even have to watch the show to know exactly how it’s going to pan out … ”

        Hold on. Though you have goodness on your side,
        and though the characters that you give flack
        for see-through shallowness on which they slide
        like molluscs with no home upon their back,
        can be convicted of banal banality,

        you cannot say in truth (though yes in jest)
        that you could know the contents of that show
        before your metric digit had been pressed
        on keys unlocking Netflix’ seemy glow.
        Although,

        your villanelle’s repeat acidity
        calling out their call for privacy
        has killer insight in psychology
        that makes it certain that your self can be
        a tv seer by analogy.

        ;^)

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Damian, thank you very much for your highly amusing poem… with many true, well-chosen, well-placed words highlighting my nose for victim-playing bleaters. I will admit to watching the trailer… the trailer spoke volumes. I may have had a satirical giggle at Harry and Meghan’s expense, but even so, I’m very sad about the path the royals (with the Green New Deal advocate, King Charles III at the helm) are treading… a path that can only lead to their eventual demise… just as planned, I am certain. With much gratitude for your poetic comment.

  7. James Sale

    Brilliant Susan – sensational expose and satire on the two unprincipled mercenaries. As usual with you, love the language. Of course, there is a special word for someone whose own actual parentage is dubious, and we might expect somebody with that descriptive word and that actual non-parentage to attack their literal benefactor. And another word is cuckoo and cuckoos in the nest always destroy the home that fed them. As the Greek tragedians revealed 2,500 years ago, when you do a wrong, it leads to another in an endless sequence till catharsis is reached. Suppressing truth all those years ago in order to avoid ‘scandal’ seems to me – IMHO – to be the launching of the missile that having gone AWOL for a while, now seems focused on razing the Palace. I am very sorry for it.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you, James! You make a very interesting point here on the flame-maned Hewitt front. Perhaps the cocky cuckoo is hellbent on destroying his chickhood nest in true cuckoo tradition. I am glad our dear Queen is not here to witness the fallout.

      Reply
  8. Cynthia Erlandson

    Wow, Susan! As always, I’m marveling at your ability to respond to news so quickly and so well! I picture you suddenly getting up in the middle of the night, firing up your computer, and having a finished poem in about 30 minutes!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Cynthia, I am smiling and nodding… you’re not far wrong. The more irritated I get, the quicker I write. If you see a sestina appear within twenty minutes of reading a headline, you know there are sparks flying from my nostrils, there is smoke rising from my ears, and I am on the verge of combusting. The resulting carbon emissions will be responsible for the extinction of an entire herd of purple-hooved Peruvian gnus. 🙂

      Reply
  9. g.KayeNaegele

    Very engaging and provocative Villanelle. I don’t really know the story, but you make a powerfully poetic case for your perceptions. Well done. Gail

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Gail, thank you very much for your lovely comment. I am so glad the villanelle entertained you even though you’re not fully au fait with the story. I think it might be more of a British beef… our late Queen’s grandson has gone rogue and decided to break from the royal family and air his dirty laundry in public, via Netflix… not at all popular with fans of Queen Elizabeth II, barely cold in her grave.

      Reply
  10. Allegra Silberstein

    You used the villanelle very well in this poem that made me laugh. I especially liked that they plead for privacy but welcome all.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, Allegra. I laughed as I was writing that line… oh, the hypocrisy!

      Reply
  11. Mia

    Dear Susan, I love your poem as well as the comment you make about how angry you are. I think you pretty much describe what the people of Britain are feeling. We were there, we saw the welcome and the goodwill from Britain and the sad thing is they don’t realise that they are messing with the future of Britain. A place so racist that people from all over the world are risking their lives to come over in rubber boats…

    As for me I cannot write a poem as you can but I console myself that I have
    made up the following riddle

    Who is the only woman that can kiss a prince and turn him into a frog?

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Mia, your comment is dear to my heart. I have the word “British” coursing through my bones, and I know how wonderful and welcoming the British people are. My very Texan husband has experienced British hospitality and he loved every minute. What an insult to the British this selfish shrew is. I love your riddle and I’m very tempted to include it in a poem. Mia – thank you!

      Reply
  12. Brian Yapko

    Susan, this poem is a wicked satire of two people who deserve to be skewered as much as a poet can legally get away with. The villanelle form works perfectly for this purpose, partly because of your appropriately undignified circus-barker call to “roll up, roll up” — the repetends sound like a huckster’s spiel to come see the freak show. Well, it is rather a freak show, isn’t it? Two of the most disgustingly privileged and entitled people on the planet who have made a career promoting their victimhood. “Oh, poor us. We have leaves in the swimming pool.” Let me get out my violin. Well, not all hearts will bleed for them. And what privacy is it that these hypocrites claim they want? If any couple is emblematic of these inelegant times it is these two. A shame, because Harry had potential. She was and is poison for him.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Brian, you are spot-on. This is indeed a freak show and I wanted to convey exactly that! Your ‘leaves in the swimming pool’ observation had me laughing until my eyes watered… it says it all! And to think, these people are lecturing us on how we can cut back on essentials to save the planet. We all have essentials. Some people’s essentials (leaves to be removed from the swimming pool) are more essential than others. And other people’s essentials (life giving breath) are non-essential, according to government regulations. And you are right, whatever endearing qualities Harry possessed have been sucked dry by a shrew. Brian – thank you!

      Reply
  13. C.B. Anderson

    Last week Harry’s brother and the Princess of Wales came to Boston to receive an award from some Green organization, and all the local pols were out to fawn over the couple. Had it not been so sad, it would have been laughable. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, I guess, but pretty much everything I know about the royal family comes from having watched the cable-tv series, The Crown, which is mostly about Elizabeth.

    I loved your “tarnished silver spoon.”

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      C.B., I’m over the moon you love my “tarnished silver spoon” – a dish, a little dog, a cow, a cat and a fiddle are springing to mind for another poem… if it hasn’t been written already!

      On a serious note, I believe it’s all downhill for the royal family now our cherished queen has died. For me, any royals pushing the green agenda while rolling in all the luxuries we commoners are forced to give up are destined for disaster.

      Reply
  14. Mia

    But this photo though!
    It deserves to be in a caption challenge;
    what is the poor dog thinking ?

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      What is that poor dog thinking, indeed! You’ve got me thinking now… there isn’t enough time for all the poems I want to write… I’d love to see you channeling the thoughts of that dog. Your frog riddle tells me the outcome will be very entertaining.

      Reply
  16. Yael

    I wouldn’t recognize a Netflix if it bit me on the bee-hind, but I found your poem perfectly entertaining Susan, thank you very much. This is how I like to get my news: with a rhyme format and a sparkle.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Yael, Mike and I quit Netflix some years back. We also got rid of Cable TV. We dropped Hulu because it was part of the Woke Disney idiocy. We have hooked up to the Daily Wire, and we’re even worried about them… and we’re better off for our choices!! You are a wise woman to stay away from the MSM insanity. There are some things that shouldn’t enter our heads… and Harry and Meghan are two of them… but, I simply couldn’t resist, and I’m glad you enjoyed the sheer hilarity of the right royal circus. What a bunch of clowns dwell among us!

      Reply
  17. Cheryl Corey

    Meghan Markle – the ultimate grifter. Would they still be putting this out if the queen was alive? It’s almost a blessing that she isn’t. I didn’t follow their wedding & all the hoopla much, but it seemed to me that the British people welcomed Meghan, and she spat in their faces. Not too long ago, I read a book about the American heiresses who married into British royalty during the “Gilded Age”. They conducted themselves with such grace and decorum.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Cheryl, the British people welcomed Meghan with open arms, so did the queen. Queen Elizabeth II was a woman of dignity and loyalty… traits that are now absent from the royal family. How long the British monarchy will last is anyone’s guess… I’m guessing… not very long… by design.

      Reply
  18. Norma Pain

    I don’t really follow the royal family but I do follow your poetry Susan and it is amazing and you create it all with such speed and brilliance. Now I am curious so perhaps I’ll watch a little Netflix to see what is going on with the have’s vs the have-nots!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Norma, thank you for your appreciation of my poetry and your encouragement to continue with my poetic endeavors. A word of warning, if you haven’t committed to a Netflix subscription, please don’t waste your money on these whiners… life is too short for misery. Life should be like your poetry… a smile-inducing ride through rays of sunshine.

      Reply
  19. Russel Winick

    Susan – Not that there’s any hope for them, but they should be forced to read your poem!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Russel, I agree with you… and afterwards they can eat and digest my words without the aid of a flute of bubbly to help them down. 😉

      Reply
  20. Joseph S. Salemi

    The French monarchy fell not because of the alleged tyranny or exactions of the Bourbons, but because the royal family and much of the French aristocracy had become hopelessly infected with liberal ideas from the philosophes and other Enlightenment propagandists. The ruling class unwittingly engineered its own downfall by worshiping the encyclopedistes.

    The same thing may very well happen with the British monarchy, if its members keep on parroting all the pieties of fashionable cocktail-party leftism. When you welcome someone like Meghan Markle, you are flirting with suicide.

    Reply
  21. Ronald J. Lockley (Conor Kelly)

    Wonderful poem, Susan. I know how hard it is to write a villanelle and you do it with such polish.
    I am glad you didn’t subject yourself to the full three episodes before crafting your perspicacious response (regrettably I did) as I fear you would have been upset by the disrespect shown to Queen Elizabeth about whom you recently wrote such a fitting tribute. To see that ginger groaner and his gangsta wife pontificating in luxury enabled by the crown would turn anyone’s stomach. And I’m not even British. Why don’t they go back to Africa where they claimed to be so happy? (You’d have to watch it to get that reference and I don’t recommend you do.)

    Reply
  22. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    A sly and slippery comment with the subtlety of a sledgehammer… I have a sneaky feeling Africans might not lay out the red carpet for these two… they have far more respect for the late Queen than her greedy, gossipy grandson, and far more intelligence than you give them credit for. I see you favor the nefarious Netflix route for your news … I wouldn’t recommend it. One only has to see the trailer to know money not integrity is the driver of this show. Victimhood pays and I refuse to line these “victims’” pockets.

    Reply
  23. Jeff Eardley

    Susan, you have a great ability to produce cutting-edge verse on the hoof, which must lead to a highly paid position as house poet to a National publication, say the NYT. Book deals and a celebrity lifestyle could follow, then hob-nobbing with the Clooneys and Beckhams prior to you and Mike telling all in a blockbusting Netflix series. We will be looking out for it. The nail was hit firmly on the head with this. Absolutely perfect, thank you.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Jeff, thank you very much for your highly entertaining comment… wouldn’t it be lovely if there was a job like that out there for me. I think the NYT, Netflix, and the MSM would be more inclined to shame and cancel me. That is why I am so grateful for the SCP… all those who have a sense of humor in spite of dire times can join me in a good old laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. Jeff, I’m glad you like my style.

      Reply
  24. Theresa Cummings

    Oh, what a clever girl you are
    to pen quite an uproarious barb
    in the direction of
    two flailing carp!
    In a word marvelous, Susan!
    Thank you for the read
    Terry

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Terry, you are very welcome. There was plenty of material to spur me on with a bit of poetic satire… enough to write another villanelle and a sonnet series… watch this space. 😉 Thank you very much for your smile of a comment. I’m glad you liked the poem.

      Reply
  25. Patricia Redfern

    Truly you pegged these two magnificently.!
    Awesome poem, Susan!

    Patricia

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, Patricia. I’m over the moon!

      Reply
  26. Morrison Handley-Schachler

    I always enjoy reading your poems, Susan. I’m sure it’s a lot more fun than watching Harry and Meghan’s Netflix show.

    Reply

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