"Help Wanted" by Raymond StuartPoems on Growing Up, by James A. Tweedie The Society April 15, 2023 Culture, Epigrams and Proverbs, Humor, Poetry 14 Comments . Growing Up . Starving Children in China If you don’t eat the food that’s on your plate ....I will, in turn, assert That you will be excused—no need to wait— ....For you won’t get dessert. . Crime and Punishment Your sister says that you were rude. Until you change your attitude And say you’re sorry, you won’t be Allowed to watch our new TV. . It’s Just Going to Get Messed Up Again, Anyway! How many times must it be said: When you get up, first make your bed. . Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness To spit or swear, abandon hope— Your mouth will be washed out with soap. . Curfew ....You came home late, Your lame excuse unfounded. ....You know your fate: The next three weeks you’re grounded. . Rub-a-Dub-Dub After your bath be sure to scrub The dirty ring around the tub. . Bathroom Etiquette If you’re a boy and have to pee Be sure the seat is up, you see. But when you flush, don’t be a clown; Be sure the toilet seat is down. . Chores Please fix the handle on your door And dust the molding by the floor. Be sure to walk and brush the dog, And change the water for the frog Then clean the litter for the cat. And put away your baseball bat. . Closing Thought Dear child, no need to tell you why, I just want to remind you: Whenever you go out, please try To close the door behind you. . . James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and three collections of poetry including Mostly Sonnets, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in The Lyric, Poetry Salzburg (Austria) Review, California Quarterly, Asses of Parnassus, Lighten Up Online, Better than Starbucks, Dwell Time, Light, Deronda Review, The Road Not Taken, Fevers of the Mind, Sparks of Calliope, Dancing Poetry, WestWard Quarterly, Society of Classical Poets, and The Chained Muse. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. CODEC Stories:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 14 Responses Mark Stellinga April 15, 2023 James, as I’m sure most everybody does, I, too, clearly hear my mother nipping my backside in each of these cute pieces! Nice job, and thanks for the memory… Reply Roy Eugene Peterson April 15, 2023 Fascinating reminders of my own childhood. I love the short couplets and quatrains that are impactful. They are done with wit and humor that I loved. Reply Paul Freeman April 15, 2023 With all the ‘entertaining’ distractions around, it’s difficult to get the kids to do chores these days. It’s more like: ‘Take out the trash and I’ll give you some cash.’ That said, my son’s at this moment cooking dinner (he’s an excellent cook), though the headphones are stuck to his head pumping out some entertainment or the other. I’ll have to try some of your rhymes and poem-ettes on him, James, and see how far that gets me. Thanks for the real entertainment. Reply Cynthia Erlandson April 15, 2023 Lots of fun! Reply Norma Pain April 15, 2023 Nine most enjoyable short poems that bring back happy memories of my time growing up and the parental reminders of how to behave. Thank you James. Reply Julian D. Woodruff April 15, 2023 Rules! They’ve always been a hassle. There was “man’s first disobedience”; now there’s 4/15. (See what I mean?) On closing doors: I think the basic rule that kids, and cats, are bent on establishing is that anything but a door may occupy a doorway. Thanks for the reminders about an important though sometimes frustrating aspect of life! Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 15, 2023 This poem reminds me of a hit song from 1958, recorded by the black doo-wop band called The Coasters. The title is “Yakety-Yak,” which is supposed to be the contemptuous reply of the young son to his father’s nagging: Take out the papers and the trash Or you don’t get no spendin’ cash. If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor You ain’t gonna rock and roll no more… (Yakety yak! Don’t talk back!) Just finish cleanin’ up your room — Let’s see that dust fly with that broom. Get all that garbage out of sight Or you don’t go out Friday night… (Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!) You just put on your coat and hat And walk yourself to the laundromat. And when you finish doin’ that Bring in the dog and put out the cat… (Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back! Don’t you give me no dirty looks — Your father’s hip, he knows what cooks. Just tell your hoodlum friends outside You ain’t got time to take a ride… (Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!) There are plenty of recordings of the song on YouTube. It was wildly popular with teenagers of all races when it came out. Reply James A. Tweedie April 15, 2023 Heh! A great addition to the subject of my verse. I am old enough to remember the song being played on my sister’s transistor radio back in the day! I’ll take a stroll down memory lane and give it another listen. Thanks. Reply Betty Glaz April 15, 2023 Boots Randolph on sax Reply Michael Pietrack April 15, 2023 Did we grow up in the same house? Reply James A. Tweedie April 15, 2023 Heh! A great addition to the subject of my verse. I am old enough to remember the song being played on my sister’s transistor radio back in the day! I’ll take a stroll down memory lane and give it another listen. Thanks. Reply James A. Tweedie April 15, 2023 Meant for Joseph, of course, and I’ll repost it again above. And, No, Michael, I don’t believe we shared the same parents! lol There were three of us in the house already and I’m not sure my mother could have handled a fourth! C.B. Anderson April 15, 2023 Thank you, James, for this strong dose of Pacific pith. Reply Cheryl Corey April 16, 2023 As the eldest of six, I still remember drying those huge piles of dishes. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Captcha loading...In order to pass the CAPTCHA please enable JavaScript. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Mark Stellinga April 15, 2023 James, as I’m sure most everybody does, I, too, clearly hear my mother nipping my backside in each of these cute pieces! Nice job, and thanks for the memory… Reply
Roy Eugene Peterson April 15, 2023 Fascinating reminders of my own childhood. I love the short couplets and quatrains that are impactful. They are done with wit and humor that I loved. Reply
Paul Freeman April 15, 2023 With all the ‘entertaining’ distractions around, it’s difficult to get the kids to do chores these days. It’s more like: ‘Take out the trash and I’ll give you some cash.’ That said, my son’s at this moment cooking dinner (he’s an excellent cook), though the headphones are stuck to his head pumping out some entertainment or the other. I’ll have to try some of your rhymes and poem-ettes on him, James, and see how far that gets me. Thanks for the real entertainment. Reply
Norma Pain April 15, 2023 Nine most enjoyable short poems that bring back happy memories of my time growing up and the parental reminders of how to behave. Thank you James. Reply
Julian D. Woodruff April 15, 2023 Rules! They’ve always been a hassle. There was “man’s first disobedience”; now there’s 4/15. (See what I mean?) On closing doors: I think the basic rule that kids, and cats, are bent on establishing is that anything but a door may occupy a doorway. Thanks for the reminders about an important though sometimes frustrating aspect of life! Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 15, 2023 This poem reminds me of a hit song from 1958, recorded by the black doo-wop band called The Coasters. The title is “Yakety-Yak,” which is supposed to be the contemptuous reply of the young son to his father’s nagging: Take out the papers and the trash Or you don’t get no spendin’ cash. If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor You ain’t gonna rock and roll no more… (Yakety yak! Don’t talk back!) Just finish cleanin’ up your room — Let’s see that dust fly with that broom. Get all that garbage out of sight Or you don’t go out Friday night… (Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!) You just put on your coat and hat And walk yourself to the laundromat. And when you finish doin’ that Bring in the dog and put out the cat… (Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back! Don’t you give me no dirty looks — Your father’s hip, he knows what cooks. Just tell your hoodlum friends outside You ain’t got time to take a ride… (Yakety-yak! Don’t talk back!) There are plenty of recordings of the song on YouTube. It was wildly popular with teenagers of all races when it came out. Reply
James A. Tweedie April 15, 2023 Heh! A great addition to the subject of my verse. I am old enough to remember the song being played on my sister’s transistor radio back in the day! I’ll take a stroll down memory lane and give it another listen. Thanks. Reply
James A. Tweedie April 15, 2023 Heh! A great addition to the subject of my verse. I am old enough to remember the song being played on my sister’s transistor radio back in the day! I’ll take a stroll down memory lane and give it another listen. Thanks. Reply
James A. Tweedie April 15, 2023 Meant for Joseph, of course, and I’ll repost it again above. And, No, Michael, I don’t believe we shared the same parents! lol There were three of us in the house already and I’m not sure my mother could have handled a fourth!
Cheryl Corey April 16, 2023 As the eldest of six, I still remember drying those huge piles of dishes. Reply
