.

Worse Than Widowed

They’ve made us widows while we’re still alive.
I’m not allowed to see my wife, although
She isn’t sick; the head nurse told me so.
(I know, of course, she’s sick with lack of love,
As I am. It’s a deadly heartache.) Five

Whole months ago, they locked me out and said
There was a virus that was in a rage
Among a lot of people of our age.
Our visits would be window-waves, instead
Of all I used to do: I always fed

Her, read her stories, played her music. Now,
They’ve torn us from each other. She can’t hear
My voice. We can’t go out to get fresh air
Together. In our sixty-second year
Of marriage, this is all their rules allow.

Are we lawbreakers? Isn’t isolation
A punishment for criminals? The poison
Of loneliness is given by injection
To couples in this soul-destroying prison.
We’re dying of unjust incarceration.

She cannot feel my touch. She is bereaved
Of me, and I of her. Aren’t they aware
That both of us are heartsick, lifeless, grieved?
They say they’re saving lives; we haven’t lived
For these five months. How can this be a cure

For anything? It’s worse than any virus
Could ever be. Who thought they could require us
To die of sorrow “safely,” and be widows
Watching each others’ grief through cold hard windows?

.

Poet’s Note: Reading Susan Jarvis Bryant’s very poignant poem “Marching with the Mourners” (posted March 31) brought back to me the anger and agony of my parents who, because mom was in a nursing facility, were not allowed to see each other for several months during 2020, except through a window. I wrote this poem in October of that year, while they were still forcibly separated.

.

.

Cynthia Erlandson is a poet and fitness professional living in Michigan.  Her second collection of poems, Notes on Time, has recently been published by AuthorHouse, as was her first (2005) collection, These Holy Mysteries.  Her poems have also appeared in First Things, Modern Age, The North American Anglican, The Orchards Poetry Review, The Book of Common Praise hymnal, and elsewhere.

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20 Responses

  1. Roy Eugene Peterson

    I know the feeling of these heartfelt words you wrote with eloquence. I was not allowed to come close to my wife on her deathbed.

    Reply
    • Cynthia Erlandson

      Oh, Roy, I’m crying to hear this. I am so very sorry! That was my most horrifying fear during this time, and I feel it deeply for you and all who suffered in this ultimate way, through this insufferably cruel and infuriatingly evil rule.

      Reply
    • Brian A Yapko

      Roy, thank you for sharing the details of this personal tragedy. It is a cruelty that should never have occurred. I am so very sorry.

      Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Roy, I would like to add my condolences. Too many people suffered this inhumane treatment because of soulless protocols that should never have been implemented. I am so very sorry to hear this – my heart goes out to you.

      Reply
  2. Brian A Yapko

    Cynthia, I’m so very glad you wrote this fine poem. Yes, it’s heartbreaking but so important: it is an example of the poet bearing witness to a profound injustice which must never be forgotten. How could any humane person think that separating loved ones from each other purportedly to keep from spreading covid was anything but tyrannical and cruel? These monsters lost all touch with what it means to be human. I’m reminded of the Vietnam-era quote about bombing a village into oblivion: “We had to destroy the village to save it.”

    Reply
    • Cynthia Erlandson

      Your words go right to the heart of the matter, Brian — thank you. Yes, it is inhumane, tyrannical, and heartbreaking. How could anyone not see that — unless, as you say, they have “lost all touch with what it means to be human.”

      Reply
  3. Norma Pain

    Thank you for this poem Cynthia, that speaks to the absolutely misguided (or purposeful?), isolation of families at their most vulnerable times. It was, and still is so heartbreaking to hear of people’s extreme suffering at the hands of dictators. And still we hear no apologies. In fact the opposite as they double-down on their lying messages.

    Reply
    • Cynthia Erlandson

      Thank you, Norma, for your empathetic comments. Between “misguided” and “purposeful”, my guess would be “purposeful”.

      Reply
  4. Margaret Coats

    Cynthia, your poem is QUITE CURRENT. It’s not just a reminder of evil policies in 2020. At this very moment, I know a couple in their mid-eighties, married more than 60 years, who have seen one another ONLY TWICE in the past three months. Facilities providing rehab and memory care for the wife were “under quarantine” for weeks because one patient or another tested positive for covid, and each time that meant no visitors for anyone until ten days after every patient had a negative test. In memory care, all patients have mild to moderate dementia, which worsens because they cannot understand why their loved ones (the only ones with whom they communicate easily), visit so rarely.

    The reason is continued fanatic testing for covid. One of my friends works at a medical supply warehouse. They receive 6000 made-in-China covid tests EVERY DAY, and ship them out the same day to receive another 6000 tests the next day. Most of these are paid for by you and me, American taxpayers who guarantee that anyone who wants a covid test can get it free. We are paying to keep the elderly with any medical need in “safe” concentration camps where they rarely see their nearest and dearest, and die sooner for lack of love.

    The broken-line enjambments of your poem, Cynthia, well express the broken lives these inmates are living.

    Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi

      As long as our corrupt medical establishment and the governmental elite get rich on Covid, nightmares of this sort will continue. And yes — most of our hospitals and nursing homes are now concentration camps.

      Reply
    • Cynthia Erlandson

      “Safe” concentration camps, indeed. Yes, people die for lack of love. I recall seeing a news photo of elderly people sitting outside of their residential village protesting with signs that read, “I’d rather die of covid than loneliness.”
      It’s infuriating to know of people like your friends in their 80’s, experiencing this inhumane treatment. My mother had at the time (still has, of course) dementia, and that, as you say, makes it so much worse, both for the person in nursing care who doesn’t understand, and for their loved ones who know they can’t communicate the reasons for their involuntary separation from them. Thank you for your compassionate response, Margaret.

      Reply
  5. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Cynthia, what a terrible ordeal for your poor parents and the entire family. This senseless protocol was no less than evil and the title of your heart-wrenching poem gets that stark message across with a clarity that lets the reader know just how horrific these draconian measures were and still are. The title alone says so much… to know your cherished one is alone and lonely and you are banned from their side is debilitating to health and happiness. It’s inhumane… human contact heals and gives hope… it’s what we live for. I feel the depth of anger and sorrow in your words, words that all should read.

    When we attended the San Antonio rally – one of the main concerns was the separation from family… people dying with their loved ones banished from their side. Apparently, hospital protocols have been isolating patients for some time (for nefarious reasons in many cases) and this is detrimental to their recovery. There is a group called the NEVERALONE Project for anyone who is prevented from visiting with their loved one. They can offer help. For anyone who’s interested: reitersp@neveralonepandemic.org and http://www.neveralonepandemic.org are contact points.

    Cynthia, thank you for sharing this awful experience. People need to know they’re not alone.

    Reply
    • Cynthia Erlandson

      Thank you so much, Susan. Yes, I knew from pretty near the beginning (as did anyone who was paying attention and thinking reasonably) that this whole “protocol” was NOT about our health. More people died as a result of the dehumanizing lockdowns — or developed poorer health than they would have if they had contracted covid (which almost everyone did, anyway!) — than from actually getting the virus. Thank you very much for the links, which I will definitely check out!

      Reply
  6. Joshua C. Frank

    Cynthia, this is really good. My condolences to you and all who had a similar experience.

    Sorry for the short comment, but I already got into a fight with someone over this subject regarding Susan’s poem.

    Reply
  7. Russel Winick

    Cynthia, your poem set a personal record for me, in terms of how many times I was moved to read it. I’m so sorry for your parents’ suffering (and for Roy’s too), but thank you for this marvelous, difficult work.

    Reply
  8. Tiree MacGregor

    My thanks, Cynthia, for your moving poem. It is vital that poets and practitioners of all the arts address the atrocities, many of which are ongoing, none of which were ever justified.

    Other forms of documentation are vital, too. I direct readers of this page to Canada’s National Citizens’ Inquiry (NCI), which is a citizen-funded endeavour to tell the truth about this great, well-orchestrated cataclysm for which all levels of government are chiefly responsible, in collusion with the money men:

    https://nationalcitizensinquiry.ca/testimony/

    The NCI has held 3 sessions in each of 3 locations so far. The evidence is of two types: from experts in various fields (Dr. Peter McCullough, Day 1, and Dr. Laura Braden, Day 3 in Truro, NS, for instance; Rodney Palmer, journalist, and Deanna McLeod, researcher, Day 1 in Toronto; the supersmart, supersweet Jessica Rose, PhD, Day 1 in Winnipeg); and from ordinary citizens with often harrowing stories.

    As to the latter, I defy anyone to hear the heartbreaking testimony of, for one, Colleen Drandse, veteran nurse (Day 3, Toronto) and murmur the least doubt or criticism as to the veracity of her testimony, or try to defend the medical and governmental response to this house-of-cards pandemic. Such testimonies are a vital first step in tackling Leviathan, the fascistic complex that threatens humanity today.

    Note: Anyone wishing to watch one or more of the testimonies mentioned above can find the list of witnesses for each session by clicking on “Here” in the following sentence for each location listed on the NCI Testimony page: “Here is the time stamp for witnesses the [Truro/ Toronto/ Winnipeg] recordings.”

    Reply
  9. Patricia Allred

    Dearest Cynthia~~~
    I felt your loss in every line. Nursing homes are worse than prison.???they rob us of those we cherish, I won’t get near a hospital ot a nursing home! Nursing homes have other deadly viruses . I am so sotrry for you. Your descriptions moved me greatly. Thank you for so painting a picture of heartbreak. You are an inspiration to me, bless you.
    Patricia Allred

    Reply

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