Photo of Marguerite Steinheil ‘La Pompe Funèbre’: A Dramatic Monologue in Poetry by Joseph S. Salemi The Society April 17, 2023 Culture, Poetry 24 Comments . La Pompe Funèbre Félix François Faure, President of the French Republic, died on February 16, 1899 in his chambers at the Palais de l’Elysée, while being fellated by his mistress Marguerite Steinheil. Forever after, Madame Steinheil was known as La Pompe Funèbre, which in French can mean either “funereal solemnity” or “funereal fellatrix.” …………He called and said “Please come this afternoon— …………Le salon bleu at five o’clock.” As soon …………As I was bathed and perfumed and attired …………I got a carriage. In fact, I was inspired 5………To tell the driver “Straight up to the Palace.” …………What was it—pride, bravado, or sheer malice …………To have him drop me at the Elysée …………(The front gates!) just as if I had entrée …………As free as any minister? Once there, 10…….I strode right past the gendarmes with an air …………Of utter self-assurance and aplomb …………Saying “Do not detain me—I have come …………At the request of la plus grosse légume.” …………They knew precisely what I meant. A groom 15…….Was offered as an escort. I refused. …………When visiting Le Président, I used …………My own especial shortcut through the halls. …………The company of others only calls …………Attention to a visit. He was shy, 20……Dear Félix was, and wanted no one by …………When we were in his chambers. What a hush …………Of silence in that salon! I would blush …………Whenever we disrobed. I thought I felt …………Ambassadors and courtiers and the svelte 25…….Transit of ladies in their evening best. …………No matter. We were all alone. He pressed …………Me for “one special favor,” so I knelt …………And slowly worked the buckle on his belt …………To heighten the anticipation. Winking 30……Up at his face, I saw that he was thinking …………Only of pleasure, not affairs of state. …………The Russian treaty, colonies, the fate …………Of Dreyfus—none of these were on his mind. …………His hands were in my hair; he liked to wind 35…….My tresses in his fingers as I made …………His manhood… well, there’s no need to parade …………The details. Suddenly his body froze. …………I thought “Perhaps we’re coming to the close …………Much faster than is usually the case…” 40……I looked up at Le Président. His face …………Was turned to a mask of choler and distress. …………I asked “Dear Félix, what is wrong?” My dress …………Was half undone; my stays were at my hips. …………He gave no answer. Then I came to grips 45…….With what would be the worst scenario: …………What if this little tête-à-tête were so …………Blistered by passion that his heart gave out? …………He was not young; his health had been in doubt. …………I reached up and took hold of his left wrist. 50……The other hand was balled into a fist …………And held my hair so tight I was in pain. …………I managed, nonetheless, to find a vein. …………Was there a pulse? No… nothing… Sacrebleu! …………I sensed the opéra bouffe that would ensue. 55…….And all at once a wildly panicked surge …………Rose from my stomach’s pit. I felt the urge …………To get my hair untangled and just flee. …………But no—that might make matters worse. They’d see …………Some sort of plot, a coup, assassination… 60……I’d earn the wrath of France—the entire nation. …………Better to stay, pretend he simply died …………As we sat in the salon, side by side. ……………………*** …………I rang for servants, and I did my best …………To get my hair arranged, my person dressed 65 …..Before they all arrived. To my chagrin, …………I still was tucking up when they came in. …………I mumbled some excuse, to no avail— …………The man’s unbuttoned trousers told the tale. …………The staff then summoned doctors, and a priest, 70…….Though it was clear to all he was deceased. …………The gendarmes snickered, let me out the back …………In order to avoid the coming pack …………Of ministers, reporters, and police. …………“Le Président has had a good release,” 75…….One of them whispered smiling, as I reddened. …………I gave him no reply. My tongue was deadened …………By what had just occurred. How would I handle …………The inquiries, the firestorm of scandal, …………My friends, my husband, everyone I knew? 80……Brazen it out is what I’d have to do. …………I hadn’t been caught naked, in flagrante, …………Like Paolo and Francesca were in Dante. …………If that had been the case, I’d have been wrecked. …………A crime unproven saves one’s self-respect. 85……Dear Félix, thank you for your small request, …………Which left me only partially undressed. …………Imagine if you’d asked for soixante-neuf! …………Mon Dieu—what you requested was enough. …………Besides, the honor of La République 90……Depended on my pious lie. A leak …………Of what had really happened would defile …………The purity of Marianne. So while …………All France knew very well what passed between us, …………No one breathed a word about your penis. 95…….They gave you your due funeral of state …………Recording “apoplexy” as your fate. …………France and a mistress can be quite efficient— …………In statecraft, lies, and love we are proficient. …………And though all men must pass through death’s dark valley, 100….I never dreamt I’d be your grand finale. . Notes and Commentary Marguerite Steinheil (née Japy) was from a well-to-do Huguenot family in the territory of Belfort. Unhappily married to an older man, she lived in the swirl of parties, dances, and literary-artistic salons that characterized Parisian high society in the 1890s. She had numerous male admirers, and is reputed to have been intimate with many prominent men. A young, high-spirited woman with an impishly petite beauty, Marguerite seems to have had an electric effect on otherwise self-controlled males. In 1917, when she was nearly fifty, she managed to snag a wealthy English aristocrat, the sixth baron Abinger, as her new husband. Of course there is no absolute proof that President Faure actually died during sexual activity with Madame Steinheil. In her self-exculpatory autobiography Marguerite insists that although she did come to the Palais de l’Elysée on February 16 at the President’s urgent request, and that she did visit him and spend time alone with him, she departed before he was fatally stricken. Madame Steinheil’s book is well worth reading (My Memoirs, London: Eveleigh Nash, 1912) even if one cannot be sure of her veracity. The book is an absorbing account of French life during La Belle Epoque, and it also makes very clear that Félix Faure was totally infatuated with the lively and lovely Marguerite. The best accounts of Félix Faure’s death and of Marguerite’s possible involvement are in French. They are René Tavernier’s Madame Steinheil, Ange ou Démon (1976); Armand Lanoux’s Madame Steinheil ou la Connaissance du Président (1983); and Pierre Darmon’s Marguerite Steinheil, Ingénue Criminelle? (1996). The following notes are solely to clarify some of what might be the more abstruse references in the poem. He called (line 1): Faure telephoned Madame Steinheil several times on February 16, inviting her to visit him. Le salon bleu (line 2): One of the private chambers at Faure’s residence of state. the Palace (line 5): Palais de l’Elysée, the official seat of government in Paris. la plus grosse légume (line 13): “The biggest vegetable,” French slang for “the most important personage.” one special favor (line 27): A coy circumlocution for oral sex. The Russian treaty (line 32): Faure’s government had confirmed the fateful mutual defense pact with Czarist Russia in 1897, an agreement that would drag France into World War I. colonies (line 32): Faure was interested in establishing a stronger French colonial presence in Africa. The Fashoda incident (which nearly brought France and Britain to war) occurred on his watch. Dreyfus (line 33): Alfred Dreyfus, a French officer accused of spying. His trial had torn France apart, and was still a flashpoint of controversy in 1899. Faure had refused to review the case. stays (line 43): A foundation garment for women, similar to a corset or a brassiere. Some sort of plot (line 59): Steinheil was in fact subsequently accused of murdering Faure by anti-Dreyfusards. a priest (line 69): It is said that when a priest arrived to give Extreme Unction to the President, he asked one of the servants the following: Le Président a-t-il encore sa connaissance? The servant replied: Non, elle vient de sortir par l’escalier de service. my husband (line 79): The painter Adolphe Steinheil, a man much older than Marguerite. He tolerated her many infidelities. Paolo and Francesca (line 82): The two adulterous lovers in the fifth canto of Dante’s Inferno. They had been caught having intercourse by Francesca’s husband, and were killed by him. Dante places them in the second circle of hell, which is reserved for the sins of carnal lust. Dear Félix (line 85): From this line on, the poem becomes an apostrophe to the absent Félix Faure. soixante-neuf (line 87): A somewhat more elaborate sexual act, which would require mutual disrobing. Marianne (line 93): Popular nickname for the French republic, personified as a young girl. apoplexy (line 96): Faure’s death was politely ascribed to apoplexie foudroyante (“thundering apoplexy”) by the attendant physicians. . . Joseph S. Salemi has published five books of poetry, and his poems, translations and scholarly articles have appeared in over one hundred publications world-wide. He is the editor of the literary magazine TRINACRIA and writes for Expansive Poetry On-line. He teaches in the Department of Humanities at New York University and in the Department of Classical Languages at Hunter College. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 24 Responses Roy Eugene Peterson April 17, 2023 Making Chaucer seem like a piker from the linguistic eloquence to the bawdy subject matter. Reply Paul Freeman April 17, 2023 ‘Sacrebleu!’ indeed. A rollicking tale and an historical and linguistic education all rolled into one. Who could ask for more? Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant April 17, 2023 Oh, the pitfalls of the human condition. I was going to say, nothing ever changes… but, in my lifetime it has. At least in the admission of La Pompe Funèbre (I love the wicked ambiguity of her soubriquet) “…To my chagrin, / I still was tucking up when they came in”, we have a faint blush of embarrassment. Today, such behavior is lauded and applauded especially if one admits to being afflicted with an uncontrollable sex addiction. Today’s society appears unshockable. I will admit to being intrigued and inspired by these first-person poetic slices of history’s salacious secrets, especially when they’re as masterfully written as ‘La Pompe Funèbre’. The more we know about the depravities of humankind, the more likely we are to look heavenward for answers. Those in power are not to be trusted – they’re mere mortals who are easily led from the path of righteousness. Joe, thank you for the poetic and timely reminder. Reply Joshua C. Frank April 17, 2023 Actually, today’s society is more shockable than ever, but by things it used to consider normal. As St. Basil said of his times, “Only one offense is severely punished: an accurate observance of our forefathers’ traditions.” I’ve been screamed at for saying I’m Catholic, banned from online groups (even so-called Christian ones) for being open about being the guy who wrote “those” poems, called hateful for openly hating sin (not sinners, just the sins that hurt them), and criticized (again, even by people who claim to be believers) for wanting to marry and have children. Yet, not that long ago, people used to have bad reputations for what today would be required for a good reputation. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant April 17, 2023 Josh, sadly I agree with you. The perverse is the “new normal” and normality, as far as Judeo-Christian values are concerned, is now considered anything but. Social “justice” ensures chaos reigns supreme, which is my point – any time we trust self-indulgent persons of power to steer us in the right direction morally, we will be sorely disappointed. Provocative literature steeped in realism speaks loudly of the human condition, which is why I like it… along with the variety of voices we have at the SCP. Viewing the world from a range of poetic angles is my favorite pastime. Joseph S. Salemi April 18, 2023 Joshua, that’s one of the reasons why I wanted to publish this dramatic monologue. Any description of or allusion to heterosexual relations, especially if it is lighthearted and comic, drives the feminist and pervert left into a seething fury. For them, sex isn’t about pleasure, but about POLITICAL STATEMENT. This little jeu d’esprit about Marguerite and President Faure is designed to be an in-your-face gesture of cheerful contempt to feminists and perverts. The political left, as Orwell pointed out in his novel 1984, is profoundly anti-sex. Thank you for your comments, and for that wonderful quote from St. Basil. Joseph S. Salemi April 17, 2023 Thanks to you all — Roy, Paul, and Susan — for your kind comments. I try to keep things lively at this site. The reason the SCP is growing by leaps and bounds is that we are provocative, interesting, and transgressive. Reply James Sale April 18, 2023 Letters Page: Daily TeleWhat, UK Sir, I must record my outrage at reading the filth you have published on these pages via a certain Professor Joseph Salemi. Professor? Is this what we are teaching young people these days? No wonder the country is going to wrack and ruin and falling into a cesspit of immorality. I am going to cancel my subscription forthwith. Disgustedly Yours, James Joyce, Tunbridge Wells PS By ‘eck, though, it was bloody funny Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 18, 2023 James, I plead guilty to the entire indictment. But I’m glad that it was bloody funny. Many thanks! Reply Paul Freeman April 18, 2023 Though Marguerite was quite petite, while munching on Felix’s meat, the President cried out in pain, then he died, both coming and going, toot suite. Reply Brian A Yapko April 18, 2023 This poem, Joseph, is a tour de force of in-your-face poetic skill. It is, of course, bawdily entertaining in depicting a fin-de-siecle Clintonesque-scandal which proves that there is nothing new under the sun. Although you have already mentioned a somewhat transgressive purpose in your comments, to me that is secondary. I am actually fascinated by the poetic world-building you have wrought. Specifically, you have painted a detailed, meticulous slice of life in Belle Epoque Paris, with both its elegance and its insouciant decadence which is both historical and shockingly modern. You skillfully depict this era in French history by peppering the narrative with just the right amount of French usage and with the unself-conscious invocation of specific historical personages and events. I will quibble slightly with your rather incomplete description of the Dreyfus affair since it was, in fact, a traumatic watershed event in the annals of anti-Semitism. But this is highly peripheral to your work and, perhaps, best addressed as subject matter for a future poem which I might try my hand at. My point here is that you do an amazing job of presenting a living, breathing historical context founded upon incidents and details of great verisimilitude. The amount of research you have done to make this poem work is daunting, scholarly and exciting. And then there is the fact that you have penned 100 lines of heroic couplets! I thought my own recent poem was a challenge, but this is a level of craft I can only aspire to. Your rhymes are astonishingly deft as you shift between French and English (and more!) I’m particularly tickled by Republique/leak, valley/finale, Sacreblue/ensue… the list goes on and on. You set the poetic bar very high. Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 18, 2023 Brian, I’m overwhelmed by your praise, and I deeply appreciate your analysis as well. I tried as hard as I could to make this poem both sophisticated and humorous, in the tradition of Praed, Clough, and Kipling. I only mentioned the Dreyfus case in passing, because more on that issue would have opened a different can or worms, and would have distracted from the poem’s focus on the tragicomic incident between Marguerite and the President. There are two other famous instances of public figures dying in the middle of sex. Lord Palmerston, Prime Minister of Great Britain, died in 1865 while having intercourse with a chambermaid on a billiard table at his country estate of Brocket Hall. And the former Vice President and Governor of New York, Nelson Rockefeller, died in 1979 in his mid-Manhattan townhouse while rogering his young secretarial aide. The Brits managed to keep the Palmerston incident fairly well hushed up, but here in Noo Yawk it was impossible (despite the frantic efforts of the police, the mayoral office, and the Rockefeller family) to prevent the facts from coming to light, and provoking general hilarity. Thank you again, sincerely. Reply Joshua C. Frank April 18, 2023 I was racking my brain to remember where I heard the phrase “La Pompe Funèbre” before… then I remembered: it was “Les Funérailles d’Antan” (“The Funerals of Long Ago”) by Georges Brassens, in which he mourns the fact that the time of “les belles Pompes Funèbres” is over. I guess he meant that in both senses you’ve given! Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 19, 2023 Joshua, I think in that case Brassens was referring solely to “beautiful funeral solemnities” in the strict sense of old-fashioned ceremonies and rituals. In the carnal sense of the phrase, there are plenty of “les belles pompes funebres” still around, so their time is hardly over. Reply Joshua C. Frank April 19, 2023 Makes sense. Though I’ve heard plenty of French off-color slang, “pompes” in the carnal sense was a new one for me, apart from where we would use the word “pump” in English. I take it you get these from French poetry? Joseph S. Salemi April 19, 2023 Slang changes quickly, so the sexual language of a hundred years ago may be unfamiliar to us today. “Pompe” can mean many things. It could be just a device for circulating liquids, or any kind of solemnity or pageantry (as in the English phrase “pomp and circumstance”), or a push-up exercise, or even a small piece of paper used to cheat on an exam. “Pompe” as a slang term for a woman who performs fellatio is probably an outdated French usage. James A. Tweedie April 19, 2023 I will limit myself to but one thought, which is: College students would learn and retain more about history if this sort of verse was used as the entree to more significant matters, such as those in the annotations. It would certainly capture and hold their attention longer than a pedantic lecture or a dry-as-dust textbook. If nothing else in its favor, I didn’t yawn once while reading it. Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 19, 2023 That’s all I want in a reader, James. Not to be bored. Do you know the old joke about divorce proceedings in a courtroom, where a lawyer stated that a husband had left his wife, bed and board? The wife jumped up and said “That’s a lie, your honor! No man ever left MY bed bored!” Reply C.B. Anderson April 19, 2023 This was unbelievable, Joseph, in every dimension. Someday, after I grow up, I might write something half as good. Yapko nailed most of the salient elements of this thing of beauty, a joy forever, and I can only imagine the euphoria you felt when those perfectly unexpected rhymes floated in the clear air for your taking. Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 20, 2023 Thank you, Kip. I did enjoy writing it, very much. Every so often one crafts a poem that simply works in every respect and every detail. This was one of those times. Reply Yael April 24, 2023 Thank you for another delightful history and language lesson Mr. Salemi. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the poem with the notes and commentary for the historical perspective. It’s as entertaining as it is educational, which I really appreciate. Reply Joseph S. Salemi April 25, 2023 Thank you for your kind words, Yael. My late friend Leo Yankevich was opposed to any notations or prose commentary with a poem, even when required in a very difficult text like T.S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land.” Eliot had to do it, because the text of his poem would have been truly impenetrable without the notes. Today, with the catastrophic collapse of book-based literary culture and the complete corruption of our educational systems, notes and commentary seem more and more necessary when poets attempt to compose poems that are historically based or allusive to obscure subjects. And since the SCP is not just a place to showcase work, but also an educational tool for younger poets, the notes and commentary serve an instructional purpose. Of course, if poets write nothing but personal exhalations and small-scale epiphanies (the only productions that modernism actively favors), then of course no added material is necessary. But who wants to live in a poetry world composed solely of that kind of crap? Reply DT Holt May 7, 2023 Mr. Salemi, this is absolutely tremendous. Your attention to language and the intricacies of detail is an example to all of us of just how absorbing poetry can be when a poet focuses the entirety of their mental faculties on attending to the minutia of a story — particularly as regards a salacious historical scandal like this. Further, truly great writers get away with whatever they want. And the fact that you got away with a line like “no one breathed a word about your penis” on SCP (and had crafted a poem in which it is completely appropriate) is a testament not only to your greatness, but it also speaks to the high esteem in which you are held by your peers. From what I know of you and your considerable literary/scholarly vita, the unapologetic irreverence of “La Pompe Funèbre” will only serve to further cement you as a living master. Thus, concludes my apple polishing. Reply Joseph S. Salemi May 7, 2023 Dear DT Holt — What can I say? You’ve overwhelmed me with praise, and I am duly grateful. I hope a slave in my chariot will keep whispering to me “Memento te non esse deum” (Remember that you are not a god), as was done when a Roman general had a triumph. My best wishes to you. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Roy Eugene Peterson April 17, 2023 Making Chaucer seem like a piker from the linguistic eloquence to the bawdy subject matter. Reply
Paul Freeman April 17, 2023 ‘Sacrebleu!’ indeed. A rollicking tale and an historical and linguistic education all rolled into one. Who could ask for more? Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant April 17, 2023 Oh, the pitfalls of the human condition. I was going to say, nothing ever changes… but, in my lifetime it has. At least in the admission of La Pompe Funèbre (I love the wicked ambiguity of her soubriquet) “…To my chagrin, / I still was tucking up when they came in”, we have a faint blush of embarrassment. Today, such behavior is lauded and applauded especially if one admits to being afflicted with an uncontrollable sex addiction. Today’s society appears unshockable. I will admit to being intrigued and inspired by these first-person poetic slices of history’s salacious secrets, especially when they’re as masterfully written as ‘La Pompe Funèbre’. The more we know about the depravities of humankind, the more likely we are to look heavenward for answers. Those in power are not to be trusted – they’re mere mortals who are easily led from the path of righteousness. Joe, thank you for the poetic and timely reminder. Reply
Joshua C. Frank April 17, 2023 Actually, today’s society is more shockable than ever, but by things it used to consider normal. As St. Basil said of his times, “Only one offense is severely punished: an accurate observance of our forefathers’ traditions.” I’ve been screamed at for saying I’m Catholic, banned from online groups (even so-called Christian ones) for being open about being the guy who wrote “those” poems, called hateful for openly hating sin (not sinners, just the sins that hurt them), and criticized (again, even by people who claim to be believers) for wanting to marry and have children. Yet, not that long ago, people used to have bad reputations for what today would be required for a good reputation. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant April 17, 2023 Josh, sadly I agree with you. The perverse is the “new normal” and normality, as far as Judeo-Christian values are concerned, is now considered anything but. Social “justice” ensures chaos reigns supreme, which is my point – any time we trust self-indulgent persons of power to steer us in the right direction morally, we will be sorely disappointed. Provocative literature steeped in realism speaks loudly of the human condition, which is why I like it… along with the variety of voices we have at the SCP. Viewing the world from a range of poetic angles is my favorite pastime.
Joseph S. Salemi April 18, 2023 Joshua, that’s one of the reasons why I wanted to publish this dramatic monologue. Any description of or allusion to heterosexual relations, especially if it is lighthearted and comic, drives the feminist and pervert left into a seething fury. For them, sex isn’t about pleasure, but about POLITICAL STATEMENT. This little jeu d’esprit about Marguerite and President Faure is designed to be an in-your-face gesture of cheerful contempt to feminists and perverts. The political left, as Orwell pointed out in his novel 1984, is profoundly anti-sex. Thank you for your comments, and for that wonderful quote from St. Basil.
Joseph S. Salemi April 17, 2023 Thanks to you all — Roy, Paul, and Susan — for your kind comments. I try to keep things lively at this site. The reason the SCP is growing by leaps and bounds is that we are provocative, interesting, and transgressive. Reply
James Sale April 18, 2023 Letters Page: Daily TeleWhat, UK Sir, I must record my outrage at reading the filth you have published on these pages via a certain Professor Joseph Salemi. Professor? Is this what we are teaching young people these days? No wonder the country is going to wrack and ruin and falling into a cesspit of immorality. I am going to cancel my subscription forthwith. Disgustedly Yours, James Joyce, Tunbridge Wells PS By ‘eck, though, it was bloody funny Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 18, 2023 James, I plead guilty to the entire indictment. But I’m glad that it was bloody funny. Many thanks! Reply
Paul Freeman April 18, 2023 Though Marguerite was quite petite, while munching on Felix’s meat, the President cried out in pain, then he died, both coming and going, toot suite. Reply
Brian A Yapko April 18, 2023 This poem, Joseph, is a tour de force of in-your-face poetic skill. It is, of course, bawdily entertaining in depicting a fin-de-siecle Clintonesque-scandal which proves that there is nothing new under the sun. Although you have already mentioned a somewhat transgressive purpose in your comments, to me that is secondary. I am actually fascinated by the poetic world-building you have wrought. Specifically, you have painted a detailed, meticulous slice of life in Belle Epoque Paris, with both its elegance and its insouciant decadence which is both historical and shockingly modern. You skillfully depict this era in French history by peppering the narrative with just the right amount of French usage and with the unself-conscious invocation of specific historical personages and events. I will quibble slightly with your rather incomplete description of the Dreyfus affair since it was, in fact, a traumatic watershed event in the annals of anti-Semitism. But this is highly peripheral to your work and, perhaps, best addressed as subject matter for a future poem which I might try my hand at. My point here is that you do an amazing job of presenting a living, breathing historical context founded upon incidents and details of great verisimilitude. The amount of research you have done to make this poem work is daunting, scholarly and exciting. And then there is the fact that you have penned 100 lines of heroic couplets! I thought my own recent poem was a challenge, but this is a level of craft I can only aspire to. Your rhymes are astonishingly deft as you shift between French and English (and more!) I’m particularly tickled by Republique/leak, valley/finale, Sacreblue/ensue… the list goes on and on. You set the poetic bar very high. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 18, 2023 Brian, I’m overwhelmed by your praise, and I deeply appreciate your analysis as well. I tried as hard as I could to make this poem both sophisticated and humorous, in the tradition of Praed, Clough, and Kipling. I only mentioned the Dreyfus case in passing, because more on that issue would have opened a different can or worms, and would have distracted from the poem’s focus on the tragicomic incident between Marguerite and the President. There are two other famous instances of public figures dying in the middle of sex. Lord Palmerston, Prime Minister of Great Britain, died in 1865 while having intercourse with a chambermaid on a billiard table at his country estate of Brocket Hall. And the former Vice President and Governor of New York, Nelson Rockefeller, died in 1979 in his mid-Manhattan townhouse while rogering his young secretarial aide. The Brits managed to keep the Palmerston incident fairly well hushed up, but here in Noo Yawk it was impossible (despite the frantic efforts of the police, the mayoral office, and the Rockefeller family) to prevent the facts from coming to light, and provoking general hilarity. Thank you again, sincerely. Reply
Joshua C. Frank April 18, 2023 I was racking my brain to remember where I heard the phrase “La Pompe Funèbre” before… then I remembered: it was “Les Funérailles d’Antan” (“The Funerals of Long Ago”) by Georges Brassens, in which he mourns the fact that the time of “les belles Pompes Funèbres” is over. I guess he meant that in both senses you’ve given! Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 19, 2023 Joshua, I think in that case Brassens was referring solely to “beautiful funeral solemnities” in the strict sense of old-fashioned ceremonies and rituals. In the carnal sense of the phrase, there are plenty of “les belles pompes funebres” still around, so their time is hardly over. Reply
Joshua C. Frank April 19, 2023 Makes sense. Though I’ve heard plenty of French off-color slang, “pompes” in the carnal sense was a new one for me, apart from where we would use the word “pump” in English. I take it you get these from French poetry?
Joseph S. Salemi April 19, 2023 Slang changes quickly, so the sexual language of a hundred years ago may be unfamiliar to us today. “Pompe” can mean many things. It could be just a device for circulating liquids, or any kind of solemnity or pageantry (as in the English phrase “pomp and circumstance”), or a push-up exercise, or even a small piece of paper used to cheat on an exam. “Pompe” as a slang term for a woman who performs fellatio is probably an outdated French usage.
James A. Tweedie April 19, 2023 I will limit myself to but one thought, which is: College students would learn and retain more about history if this sort of verse was used as the entree to more significant matters, such as those in the annotations. It would certainly capture and hold their attention longer than a pedantic lecture or a dry-as-dust textbook. If nothing else in its favor, I didn’t yawn once while reading it. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 19, 2023 That’s all I want in a reader, James. Not to be bored. Do you know the old joke about divorce proceedings in a courtroom, where a lawyer stated that a husband had left his wife, bed and board? The wife jumped up and said “That’s a lie, your honor! No man ever left MY bed bored!” Reply
C.B. Anderson April 19, 2023 This was unbelievable, Joseph, in every dimension. Someday, after I grow up, I might write something half as good. Yapko nailed most of the salient elements of this thing of beauty, a joy forever, and I can only imagine the euphoria you felt when those perfectly unexpected rhymes floated in the clear air for your taking. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 20, 2023 Thank you, Kip. I did enjoy writing it, very much. Every so often one crafts a poem that simply works in every respect and every detail. This was one of those times. Reply
Yael April 24, 2023 Thank you for another delightful history and language lesson Mr. Salemi. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the poem with the notes and commentary for the historical perspective. It’s as entertaining as it is educational, which I really appreciate. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi April 25, 2023 Thank you for your kind words, Yael. My late friend Leo Yankevich was opposed to any notations or prose commentary with a poem, even when required in a very difficult text like T.S. Eliot’s “The Waste Land.” Eliot had to do it, because the text of his poem would have been truly impenetrable without the notes. Today, with the catastrophic collapse of book-based literary culture and the complete corruption of our educational systems, notes and commentary seem more and more necessary when poets attempt to compose poems that are historically based or allusive to obscure subjects. And since the SCP is not just a place to showcase work, but also an educational tool for younger poets, the notes and commentary serve an instructional purpose. Of course, if poets write nothing but personal exhalations and small-scale epiphanies (the only productions that modernism actively favors), then of course no added material is necessary. But who wants to live in a poetry world composed solely of that kind of crap? Reply
DT Holt May 7, 2023 Mr. Salemi, this is absolutely tremendous. Your attention to language and the intricacies of detail is an example to all of us of just how absorbing poetry can be when a poet focuses the entirety of their mental faculties on attending to the minutia of a story — particularly as regards a salacious historical scandal like this. Further, truly great writers get away with whatever they want. And the fact that you got away with a line like “no one breathed a word about your penis” on SCP (and had crafted a poem in which it is completely appropriate) is a testament not only to your greatness, but it also speaks to the high esteem in which you are held by your peers. From what I know of you and your considerable literary/scholarly vita, the unapologetic irreverence of “La Pompe Funèbre” will only serve to further cement you as a living master. Thus, concludes my apple polishing. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi May 7, 2023 Dear DT Holt — What can I say? You’ve overwhelmed me with praise, and I am duly grateful. I hope a slave in my chariot will keep whispering to me “Memento te non esse deum” (Remember that you are not a god), as was done when a Roman general had a triumph. My best wishes to you. Reply
