.

Regional Biases

We’ve all eaten dinners on china,
But China’s now eating our lunch.
A supper in South Carolina
Is home-cookin’, I have a hunch.

.

.

Sexual Preferences

Though a prince may turn into a frog,
And a cat can make sounds like a dog,
For as long as I’ve traveled this road,
I’ve not once seen a frog kiss a toad.

.

.

Transitionings

Of all the things I’ve seen, it seems most strange
That anyone would want to rearrange,
Abetted by some nasty plastic surgeon,
The parts that helped our populace to burgeon.

.

.

C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden.  Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India.  His collection, Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder was published in 2013 by White Violet Press.

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14 Responses

  1. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    I love these Russel-Winick-style wonders – bitesize pieces of kickass wisdom that entertain as they enlighten. C.B., you have a talent that worries me… you may well be able to do Bryant better than I can!!

    Reply
    • Joshua C. Frank

      No one could do you better than you can. However, I’d like to see Mr. Anderson write poems in imitation of me…

      Reply
      • C.B. Anderson

        I’ll never say never, Joshua, but I would first have to distill your style & technique down to a few simple ideas. If your poems are wildly divergent from each other, that would be difficult

    • C.B. Anderson

      If I had the ability to do Bryant better than you can, Susan, I would already have done so.

      Reply
  2. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Those are three amusing imitations perfect for their short lamentations. You made some great points in the process!

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Short lamentations. I like that phrase, Roy. Making good points is sometimes the point. Russel just might be the sharpest knife in the drawer.

      Reply
  3. Russel Winick

    I’m speechless, Mr. Anderson. Almost. Thanks for all of these. I was slightly nervous when I saw the title of the third piece, but it turned out to be my favorite of the lot! And I agree with you – no one could really imitate Susan.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      You know, Russel, I was counting on your understanding that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but I was willing to take the risk that you might take a dim view of this. Yes, Susan is inimitable, though some have tried, which is a worthy endeavor in itself. In her case it is fairly easy to tell the real thing from the imitations, because few can maintain such verbal coruscations for as long as she can..

      Reply
  5. Shaun C. Duncan

    I have attempted a couple of times to write in imitation of C.B. Anderson but it never turns out nearly as well as the original – or these little gems. A fine tribute to a fine poet.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      That, Shaun, was the kindest thing anyone has said to me in a long while. Sometimes I have trouble imitating myself.

      Reply
  6. Julian D. Woodruff

    These are all very good, CB, and a fair imitation of RW’s typical contributions here, too.
    My opinion on transitioning (at least some advocates & practitioners) is that zero population growth is the thing:
    The point with such transitioning is that
    it’s just one further way to skin a cat.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Yes, Julian, imitating Winick was the point.

      I’m not so hot on ZPG as you are, Julian. I’ve read predictions that a looming problem facing many nations is a scarcity of able bodies.

      Reply

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