. Cystolitholapaxy Cystolitholapaxy (si-stow-luh-THAA-luh-pak-see): a procedure to break up bladder stones into smaller pieces and remove them “It’s Cystolitholapaxy for you, For guys of your age, it’s the best I can do. I’ll see you back here in a couple of weeks, And give me a call if you get any leaks.” I thanked my consultant, a man of high status, So keenly to show me his new apparatus. A shiny steel tube with a blade at the end, And a flexible camera to get round the bends. It sounded quite bad, but it could have been badder, To have rolling stones swirling round in your bladder. I gave them both names, now it sounds a bit sick, The big one was Keith, and the other one Mick. I know I’m a coward, it sounds quite pathetic, To be so afraid of a mild anaesthetic. I’m gritting my teeth now, so brave I must be, It’s Cystolitholapaxy for me. . . Jeff Eardley lives in the heart of England near to the Peak District National Park and is a local musician playing guitar, mandolin and piano steeped in the music of America, including the likes of Ry Cooder, Paul Simon, and particularly Hank Williams.