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Poet Paul A. Freeman challenges you to write a nursery rhyme in the style of the Mother Goose classic “Jack and Jill.” Below is his model example. Post yours in the comments below.

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Nigel Neath

Nigel Neath lost all his teeth
Through eating too much candy;
He threw his toothbrush in the bin
And thought it rather dandy.

But now he cannot chew his food,
Or else his gums get tender,
So everything he wants to eat,
His mum puts in the blender.

Originally published in Kuwait This Month

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Post yours in the comments section below!

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The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.


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55 Responses

  1. Robert Zimmerman

    A cricket came to visit me.
    He just would not stop chirping.
    A puddle sat beside the door,
    so he began ‘a slurping.

    I tried real hard to make him leave.
    He said to me, “Heck no!”
    And now he chirps there all night long,
    can’t wait to see him go.

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      I enjoyed the simple and well known scenario behind this nursery rhyme.

      And a cautionary tale against those who talk too much.

      Reply
  2. Gigi Ryan

    Mark and Joan

    Mark and Joan each got a phone
    To keep up with each other.
    Mark played games and went insane,
    And Joan went home to Mother.

    Mark went woke and also broke
    And didn’t seem to notice.
    Joan got wise, to fame did rise;
    And that’s poetic justice.

    Reply
    • Gigi Ryan

      I love how well used literary devices blend unnoticed…I missed those J’s in the original. I should have made it John and Jill to maintain the alliteration.

      Reply
  3. Norma Pain

    Bill and Babs done took the jabs,
    Believing that they oughta,
    They’d been misled, now they’re both dead,
    No longer fetchin’ water.

    Their young son Bill now hates the hill,
    While Ellie-May, their daughter,
    Climbs up the hill for Babs and Bill
    To keep on fetchin’ water.

    Reply
  4. Christopher Adams

    Lack of sleep made Buford weep.
    He had no flock to number.
    Little lambs, where have you gone?
    For Buford needs his slumber.

    Out, along the lake, we went
    To play beside the willow.
    Buford did not shut the gate,
    And now, he needs no pillow.

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      Poor old Buford. As with many nursery rhymes, this is a cautionary tale.

      Reply
  5. Roy Eugene Peterson

    PLUCKY GOOSE

    Plucky Goose is on the loose.
    What will Plucky find?
    Wandered here and wandered there,
    Then plucked a boys behind.

    Plucky Goose snipped his caboose,
    He could not move much faster.
    Jumped a rail to save his tail
    Avoiding sheer disaster.

    Reply
  6. Roy Eugene Peterson

    DOWN AMONG THE CATTAILS

    Down among the cattails
    Hiding among the reeds
    Where the tadpoles dally,
    Fishies come to feed.

    Dragon flies are wary.
    Mosquitoes are having fun
    While quickly disappearing
    On the froggy’s tongue.

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      I love the imagery, especially since kids aren’t as attached to nature as they used to be.

      Reply
  7. James A. Tweedie

    Not really a nursery rhyme but here goes nothin’.

    Sweet Minnie Pearl, a country girl
    Who liked to say, “Doggoneit!”
    The hat she wore—fresh from the store—
    Still had the price tag on it.

    The Grand Ole Opry was where she
    Performed for common folks.
    For a long while she made folks smile,
    And laughed at her own jokes.

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      Good ole Minnie Pearl. I like the way, in so few words, it feels like you know her.

      Reply
  8. Joseph S. Salemi

    Lucy Locket launched a rocket,
    Kitty Fisher aimed it —
    The rocket’s speed? They couldn’t clock it,
    And the heavens claimed it.

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      A good introduction to rocket science 101, Joe. Escape velocity explained.

      Reply
  9. Joshua C. Frank

    This one isn’t in the same form as Jack and Jill, but it’s from my own “Rhyming Maxims for Today,” published here 9/26/2023:

    Martin Luther broke away
    From the Catholic Church one day,
    Yet was surprised when, on a whim,
    His followers broke away from him!

    Reply
  10. Joseph S. Salemi

    Kip, you’ve broken the ice. Here goes:

    Jack and Jill went up the hill —
    Each with a buck and a quarter.
    Jill came down with two-fifty
    (They didn’t go up for water).

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      Oh, dear. One from my stepfather:

      Old Mother Hubbard, went to the cupboard
      to fetch poor Rover a bone.
      When she bent over, Rover came over
      And gave her a bone of his own.

      Reply
    • Patricia Allred

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      Hilarious, Joseph !
      An enterprising,young lady!
      Enjoyed your sense of frivolity.

      Reply
  11. Doug Zimmer

    ‘‘Twas time to change the clocks that night.
    Tom climbed the chair to set them right.
    It was quite late. His brain was dead.
    So, “Spring right back and fall ahead!”

    He rose next morn, to church was bound,
    But couldn’t find a soul around.
    On Monday, he went into work.
    The watchman said, “Go home, ya berk!”

    Reply
    • Paul A. Freeman

      I like it, especially with the milder than it could have been final word.

      Living near the equator, the daylight hours don’t vary much throughout the year, so the clocks stay the same.

      Reply
  12. Paul A. Freeman

    I’m not reading this one to the kids!

    Great stuff. Shows that adults still connect with nursery rhymes, even X-rated ones.

    Reply
  13. Roy Eugene Peterson

    A DOG’S PERSPECTIVE

    I’d love to drive a Cadillac.
    I think they’re very civil.
    My friends would wave a paw at me,
    The Hound of Coupe de Ville.

    By chance my favorite singing group
    Is called the Irish Rovers.
    I’d love to practice songs with them
    While running through the clovers.

    Of course, my favorite TV show
    Is bound to bring some moans.
    Perhaps you guessed the name of it.
    That’s right, it’s titled, “Bones.”

    The movie that I like the most,
    The one I give a woof,
    Just makes me happy thinking of
    “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.”

    I had a friend the other day
    Who said he stole the show.
    He visited a Flea Circus
    And quickly had to go.

    Poet Note: This is a little longer than the model, but I hope this is OK.

    Reply
  14. Joseph S. Salemi

    Bobby Shaftoe’s gone to sea,
    Silver buckles at his knee —
    He’d better come back and marry me,
    That goddamned Bobby Shaftoe!

    Bobby Shaftoe’s fat and fair,
    Combing back his yellow hair —
    He’s filled my belly with his heir,
    That goddamned Bobby Shaftoe!

    Reply
  15. Roy Eugene Peterson

    THE CAT IN THE FIDDLE

    Hey diddle, diddle begins the riddle:
    What’s making that screeching sound?
    They looked around and then they found
    The cat was stuck in the fiddle.

    The cow had to shudder, someone pulled her udder.
    She thought that she would swoon.
    The little dog cried when the cow kicked his side,
    And made him fly over the moon.

    Reply
  16. Roy Eugene Peterson

    MR, FROG AND MR. TOAD

    Mr. Frog told Mr. Toad,
    “I can make more noise than you.”
    Mr. Toad told Mr. Frog,
    That’s not a wise thing to do.”

    Mr. Frog croaked loudly
    As an audience came to gawk.
    Mr. Toad saw Mr. Frog
    In the talons of a hawk.

    Reply
  17. Roy Eugene Peterson

    MY PERFECT PET

    I remember in the seventies
    I found the perfect pet.
    It did not cost a lot.
    I think I have him yet.

    He came with full instructions
    In a tiny little box.
    The name I gave was Mr. Stone
    For he was my pet rock.

    Reply
  18. Roy Eugene Peterson

    THE VILLAGE SMITHY

    Under the spreading chestnut tree
    The Village Smithy stood.
    He had an axe to chop it down.
    He needed the chestnut wood.

    The birdies in the chestnut tree
    All began to shout.
    They dropped some chestnuts on his head
    And knocked the Smithy out.

    Reply
  19. Roy Eugene Peterson

    LITTLE BOY BLUE

    Little Boy Blue
    Come blow your horn.
    The sheep’s in the meadow,
    The cows in the corn.

    That night I found
    Little Boy Blue
    Was making some homemade
    Tasty beef stew.

    Reply
  20. Roy Eugene Peterson

    MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

    Mary had a little lamb
    That was not very good.
    It always ran away from her
    To hide in the neighborhood

    Mary had a little lamb.
    She cooked it very good.
    She put mint jelly on it,
    Like everybody should.

    Reply
  21. Paul A. Freeman

    Here’s one I did over the summer:

    Laura Luggs

    Laura Luggs, ate garden slugs
    And one day she said: “Blimey!
    My eyes are on the ends of stalks,
    My skin has gone all slimy.”

    It now takes hours to get to school,
    At sport she is no winner,
    And when she eats, she has to check
    No salt is on her dinner.

    Reply
  22. Jeff Eardley

    It’s Saturday evening…what the heck.

    Mary had a little lamb,
    Its father was a sheep.
    That sidled up behind her once,
    When she was fast asleep.

    Little boy blue has lost his horn,
    Looks like his libido’s upped and gorn.

    Reply
  23. Patrick Murtha

    Jack and Jill went up a hill
    To fetch a pail of water;
    Jack came back, and so did Jill
    But in her arms a daughter.

    Gossips tell us what they did
    When they were at the torrent—
    To repeat, my mores forbid.
    You get the drift, I warrant.

    Stop! I shall not say a thing.
    Quite useless is your pleading—
    Let me add, Jack bought a ring,
    And that was in good breeding.

    Reply
  24. Shamik Banerjee

    I love your poem, Mr. Freeman. Although I am late, here’s something I came up with inspired by your piece.

    A Lesson

    Clinton Clyde was very snide
    Towards his new schoolmaster.
    He’d jibe him, “Slaphead Shawn!” and shoot
    Him with an airsoft blaster.

    The master brought a cobra once,
    Tied Clinton with this creature,
    And warned, “Don’t ever dare to nark
    A low-paid, mid-school teacher!”

    Reply
  25. Mia

    Polly put the tv on
    Polly put the tv on
    We’ll all hear the news.
    Polly turn it off now please
    Polly turn it off now please
    We’ve all been screwed.

    Reply
      • Mia

        Thank you! Your comment and approval is really appreciated
        especially so at this time of so much sadness and grief in the world.

  27. Kathy Bahr

    Acorn

    I’m trying hard not to hoard,
    Acorn fallen down with the fall.
    I was out like the day,
    Night played away.
    Did the wind knock and say,
    ‘Try hard not to sneeze,
    Acorn will knock on your knees.’
    I can’t take that.

    Reply
  28. Brie Williams

    Jab and Jab We Use the Hurt
    The Cries and Price Our Offer
    Just for Dreams
    All Land has Creeds
    And Just Chance to Alter

    Reply
  29. Eugene Hawkins

    Martin and Malcolm could not agree
    on the best course of action.
    Martin marched down streets of Birmingham, but Malcolm had a different passion.

    Malcolm was right when he said fight,
    but Martin was also right too,
    when he had a dream for all to be seen
    as equal regardless of hue.

    Reply
  30. Mia

    Humpty numpty sat on the wall
    Humpty numpty felt ten foot tall,
    first, left leg on the left
    and right leg on the right,
    then left leg on the right
    and right leg on the left,
    his poor little neck rotated
    until his sorry ass -dislocated.

    Reply

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