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A Prayerful Pantoum for the
Perpetually Pessimistic 

“We’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.”  —Robert Burns

For bellyachers belching bile this year
For sourpusses (huffish and offended)
I’ll pray for spines of steel and hearts of cheer—
A splendid year where rifts are swiftly mended.

For sourpusses (huffish and offended)
For crotchety curmudgeons (miffed and sore)
A splendid year where rifts are swiftly mended
I’ll wish for them in 2024.

For crotchety curmudgeons (miffed and sore)
I’ll plead for effervescent trips of glee.
I’ll wish for them in 2024
A buoyant blast of boundless bonhomie…

With effervescent sips of fizzy glee
I toast beneath the midnight moon and clock
To buoyant blasts of boundless bonhomie
For every shrieking shrew and carping cock.

I kneel beneath the moon as hands tick-tock.
I pray for spines of steel and hearts of cheer
For every shrieking shrew and carping cock—
For bellyachers belching bile last year.

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Susan Jarvis Bryant has poetry published on Lighten Up Online, Snakeskin, Light, Sparks of Calliope, and Expansive Poetry Online. She also has poetry published in TRINACRIA, Beth Houston’s Extreme Formal Poems anthology, and in Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets in the UK). Susan is the winner of the 2020 International SCP Poetry Competition, and has been nominated for the 2022 Pushcart Prize.

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39 Responses

  1. jd

    This one is chew-worthy with all its biting,
    spitting alliterations wrapped in imaginative terms. You are the perfect example of “practice makes perfect”, Susan. Happy New Year.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      jd, thank you most kindly for your lovely comment. I hope the new year brings peace, joy, and poetry. I wish you a very happy 2024!

      Reply
  2. Cynthia Erlandson

    As usual, your lovely sensations of lush alliterations are lively and — one might even say— “buoyant”! From “this year” to “last year” is a really nice touch. Thank you for all the great poems this year, Susan! I can hardly wait to see what you’ll come up with next year!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Cynthia, your marvelous comment is a smile of a poem in itself, and I thank you for the beauty of it together with your constant appreciation and encouragement. Thank you very much indeed. Happy 2024 to you and to Paul!

      Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Russel, thank you! I’m liking this “Susanism” flourish – it’s made New Year’s Eve much brighter. I wish you a very happy and creative New Year. I look forward to reading more of your Winick wit and wisdom.

      Reply
  4. Mark Stellinga

    Susan, while pantoums are certainly fun to read, particularly yours, to me, they’re also fun to write. Hears to continuous ‘fun’ for you an’ Mike – H-N-Y –
    Mark & Connie

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Thank you very much, Mark. I’m growing to love the pantoum form… it’s a bit tricky, but I like tricky. Here’s to a happy, poetry-fueled 2024. All the best to you and Connie from Me and Mike.

      Reply
      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Geoffrey, it appears you enjoyed the pleasure of a crotchety-curmudgeon-free ’23. Long may it continue. Wishing you a happy huffish-sourpuss-free 2024.

  5. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Praying “for spines of steel and hearts of cheer” is a wonderful way to suggest
    spending New Year’s Eve, especially doing that for bellyachers and sourpusses.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      I’m afraid you’re not on my prayer list, Roy. You’re far too joyful. I will, however, wish for a peaceful and poetry-packed 2024. Thank you for all your support throughout the year together with your abundant flow of poetry. I don’t know how you manage to write so quickly.

      Reply
  6. Joseph S. Salemi

    Susan, it’s a beautiful pantoum. That single line (“For every shrieking shrew and carping cock”) by itself is unforgettable.

    Along with you, I hope we won’t be pessimists and bellyachers. But I hope that doesn’t mean we won’t continue to be hard-headed and un-Pollyannaish.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Joe, thank you very much for your appreciative comment… I laughed out loud when I wrote the shrew and cock line. I had much fun with this pantoum.

      We will never become pessimists and bellyachers. Hard-headed, un-Pollyannaish poetry is a cure for all such sniveling traits, and I have a feeling 2024 is going to be a bumper year for savage satire. There’s plenty of inspiration out there for the fearless Muse.

      Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Also, a very happy new year to you, Joe! And thank you for all you bring to the SCP by way of entertainment and wisdom.

      Reply
  7. Joshua C. Frank

    Susan, this is great, as usual! I love a good pantoum, and it’s perfect for this New Year’s Eve because we’ve had plenty of “crotchety curmudgeons” attack us for our poetry in 2023 (one of the poems had four assailants!) and whine to each other about how hateful we are and how bad our poetry is. If it’s so bad, why do they care what we write?

    Would that we could have “a splendid year where rifts are mended” … sadly, some rifts can never be reconciled. I’m thinking of the rift between us and the left, who would have to change to our side in order to mend that rift. Their appalling reaction to the October 7 attacks made that more clear than ever.

    I’m surprised that lines 14 and 17 aren’t the same, but it works. Is that meant to represent the change from the old year to the new?

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Josh, there seems to be a glut of crotchety curmudgeons on the prowl for those who refuse to promote the “current thing”… that is precisely why I’m praying for these miserable sods just waiting to spread their brand of misery far and wide. I hope my pleas halt them in their tracks as the clock strikes midnight and fills the huffish hearts of sourpusses with glee.

      To answer your question on the word choice, I wanted to play with tenses in this pantoum in keeping with the transition to a new year… a bit of a liberty, I know. Thank you for your careful reading. I wish you a very healthy, happy and poetry filled 2024!

      Reply
      • Joshua C. Frank

        Alas, I have difficulty praying for people like that, as I always feel as if I’m lying when I do. I’m afraid all I can manage is making fun of them…

      • Susan Jarvis Bryant

        Josh, that’s the beauty of satire… where crotchety curmudgeons are concerned, a little bit of humor goes a long way… like a waft of garlic beneath the nostril of a vampire.

    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Pleased to hear it, Paul… I hope the tipple brings a star-sparkling grin to your face and a heel-clicking skip to your step. Happy New Year!!

      Reply
    • Joshua C. Frank

      You wouldn’t happen to be making a crotchety-curmudgeon remark against Susan, would you, Paul?

      Reply
  9. Yael

    Thanks for the well-wishes Susan and happy new Year to you too! I look forward to many more beautiful and awesome poetry blessings from you in 2024.

    Reply
  10. Jeff Eardley

    A great way to end 2023 is a Susan poem, and this is a cracker. I will steer clear of crotchety curmudgeons in the New Year. Happy New Year to you and Mike.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      I’m pleased to hear it, Jeff. You can drown them out with your beautiful music. A very Happy New Year to you too!

      Reply
  11. Mike Bryant

    Susan, I will also raise a glass of kindness with you to toast your wonderful Pantoum, and will also say a silent prayer that the Libs of TikTok (mostly teachers) and their ilk come to the understanding that our children are not fodder for their collectivist brainwashing. These purple-haired complainers are a real threat that is swelling the ranks of the home-schoolers.
    I’m also praying that the new home school teachers will not fall for the collectivist nonsense.

    Reply
  12. Brian A. Yapko

    This is a marvelous pantoum, Susan — possibly the most complex pantoum I’ve yet read. Your explosions of alliteration remind me of the fireworks I saw last night. Other commenters have already described the many linguistic delights on offer. Let me simply join you in prayer for the perpetually pessimistic and hope that they become the pleasantly peppy and perky sooner rather than later. Happy New Year!!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Brian, thank you for your generous comment, especially the wonderful alliterative contrast to my crabby title. I’ll take “pleasantly peppy and perky” over “perpetually pessimistic” any day! A very Happy New Year to you!!

      Reply
  13. James Sale

    Fabulous Susan – just the thing for the new year! The end of the world may be coming soon, but no need to be down about it! The language is fantastic: well done!

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      James, your comment has made me roar with laughter… but, of course, the end of the world as we know it is only half the miraculous story. I wish you a splendid new year full of melodic meter and merriment! Happy New Year!!

      Reply
  14. Sally Cook

    Dear Susan –
    Just stick to your guns, and all you other anti-curmudgeons join us to revel in righteous revelry !
    I love it when you go off on a pantoum toot !
    Though the world may be coming to an end, all I can offer is, the way things have been going lately isn’t it about time?
    How’s that for “curmudgeon-ism”, pure and simple?

    Just teasing, of course. Down with the ship !!! Bob and I wish you, Mike, George and others a wonderful, successful 2024. So much to tell !

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Dear Sally, it’s always an absolute pleasure to hear from you and I’m sorry to say that curmudgeon-ism (what a delicious word) is hard to avoid for many these days, unsurprisingly. I will do all I can to wipe out huffish sourpuss-ism by going off on a few more pantoum toots.

      Wishing you and Bob a bright and beautiful 2024 from Me, Mike, and our ever-increasing menagerie.

      Reply
  15. Norma Pain

    I love this pantoum about “bellyachers and sourpusses”. Lots of fun to read and a perfect message for the new year and beyond. Happy New Year Susan to you and Mike.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      A very Happy New Year to you, Norma – may it be pain-free, peaceful, productive, and poetry-filled. I look forward to reading more of your spirit-lifting work this year… a beautiful antidote to the chaotic swirl of insanity the world’s caught up in at present. I’m thrilled you enjoyed the pantoum. Thank you for your kind words.

      Reply
  16. Warren Bonham

    I don’t recall ever being exposed to pantoums before. The structure must make them very difficult to write but, as always, you’ve done exceptionally well. I really enjoyed the sentiments in this one and learned that I need to work on my alliteration.

    Reply
    • Susan Jarvis Bryant

      Warren, thank you very much indeed. I love the pantoum for clever repetition… some lines just bear repeating. I’ve gone way over the top with my alliteration here for the comic effect. I often aim for subtlety in my more serious efforts… but my Muse will have none of it. Wishing you a joyous and poetry-filled 2024.

      Reply

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