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To My Daughter

A woman’s life is hard, they say—and true,
Though now not as our mothers understood:
They battled nature’s facts and custom’s due;
Your battle will be for true womanhood.

Though all men’s ways now lie in reach for you—
Toil, battle, woes, cares, bruises, sweat, and blood—
Your worth is not in rank or revenue:
No woman worth the name deems them her good.

Men’s work pales to hers; she brings forth new life,
Rears it to selfhood; her strength guards the hearth
From vice; her softness mollifies men’s strife.

For her true men will strive for goodness, dare
To greatness, and will wither in her dearth.
The curse of Adam is not Eve’s to bear!

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Adam Sedia (b. 1984) lives in his native Northwest Indiana and practices law as a civil and appellate litigator. In addition to the Society’s publications, his poems and prose works have appeared in The Chained Muse Review, Indiana Voice Journal, and other literary journals. He is also a composer, and his musical works may be heard on his YouTube channel.

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16 Responses

  1. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Adam, beautiful sentiments for your daughter and reminding us of the true values of womanhood! I am sure your daughter is blessed with your wonderful tribute.

    Reply
  2. Joseph S. Salemi

    A woman who lies down in labor to give birth to a baby puts her life on the line, just as any soldier who goes into combat at the front.

    Reply
    • James A. Tweedie

      Well put, and true. A nice highlight to Adam’s fine poem (although with three daughters of my own, I may be somewhat biased)

      Reply
    • Adam Sedia

      I appreciate how you identified part of the Curse of Eve in contrast to the Curse of Adam.

      Reply
    • Joshua C. Frank

      Absolutely true. I hear there are cultures that honor a woman who died in childbirth in the same way they honor a man who died in battle. This would be a good custom for us to adopt.

      Reply
  3. Cynthia Erlandson

    This is lovely, Adam. Thank you. You use the emphatic meter of line 6 to make such a powerful point in such a compact form. The final verse reminds me of what Adam said in “Paradise Lost” about the dreadful idea of having to live without Eve.

    Reply
  4. Margaret Coats

    Adam, this is a valuable consideration of true womanhood–that naturally addresses true manhood as well in lines 12 and 13. I love the expression, “her softness mollifies men’s strife.” This is real, though denied and excoriated at present. Undoubtedly you appreciate the truism that a man needs a woman to civilize him, and a child to stabilize him.

    Reply
    • Adam Sedia

      It is definitely real — and even though I paid lip service to the idea before, I was shocked at how true it was once I married and had children. Writing from the perspective of a man, I suppose I couldn’t avoid putting that in, since it describes what I want to guide my daughter. I’ve also written a similar sonnet of guidance for my son who is three years older, but for some reason have not published it yet.

      Reply
  5. Daniel Kemper

    I really felt the addressing true manhood, just in the measure that you did, really brought out the praise of true womanhood –especially the pun in the final line (bear) “The curse of Adam is not Eve’s to bear!”

    Reply
  6. Hari Hyde

    Thanks for this poignant poem on motherhood, which I reread with pleasure. Ancient wisdom is wobbling today, but biology will win in the end, I believe. I fear even more for our nation’s sons rummaging for an identity.

    Reply
    • Adam Sedia

      We are really playing with fire. The last group you want to make angry is unmarried young men.

      Reply
  7. Joshua C. Frank

    Well said. I agree 100% with every line! In fact, I want to keep this to read to any daughters I have someday.

    Many conservatives rightly lament modern culture’s belief in the biological interchangeability of the sexes, but it’s a direct result of belief in the economic and social interchangeability of the sexes. There’s little difference between a career woman and a female-to-male transsexual when the chips are down. From what I hear, women aren’t happy with this arrangement foisted upon them by feminists. Masculine women aren’t attractive to men, just as feminine men aren’t attractive to women. (Even when they’re married, they engage in marital intimacy less often.) Hence my poem “In Eve’s Footsteps”—it sounds as if you agree with the principles behind it.

    Reply
    • Adam Sedia

      You address one of the great taboos of our times. that the things women “fought for” turned out not to be worth the “fight.” I see this all the time in my professional life; it is full of miserable people, men as much as women, but especially with the women I think, “My God, why would you choose THIS?” I could fill pages with my thoughts on this topic, but suffice it to say I agree.

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi

        Adam, you words bring up a memory. About 40 years ago, in the heyday of “feminist consciousness,” there was a female professor at the university where I then worked. The time arrived when our new union contract came up for negotiation, and naturally everyone on the faculty looked forward to a raise in salary.

        All, that is, except this woman. She argued vehemently in our union meeting for NO SALARY RAISE AT ALL. Her reason was this, to paraphrase her: “The male faculty at this school are already adequately paid! As a result, their wives can stay home and have a leisurely life. I don’t think we should encourage that! Let these women get off their butts and go out into the world of hard work! More money for their husbands just means that these wives will be pampered even more!”

        I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She was arguing against her own financial interest to satisfy a personal ideological grudge against married women, against childbearing, and against homemakers.

        That’s feminism in action.

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