19th century cooking pot repaired with the kintsugi technique.‘Kintsugi’: A Poem by Susan Jarvis Bryant The Society January 5, 2024 Beauty, Blank Verse, Culture, Poetry 42 Comments . Kintsugi There is an ancient practice in Japan— Chipped and broken vessels, dear to hearts, Are mended with a striking golden blend. These cracked ceramics, kissed with artistry, Have former glory honorably restored. Each gleaming seam adds meaning to their worth. This emphasis of imperfection shows The wonder of destruction and rebirth— The value of life’s scuffs and scrapes and scars. I know bold souls of grit and wisdom gained Through pain. They’ve soared to reach the giddy peaks Of triumph in a rush of cloudless blue… Then fallen from the crest of sky-high waves. Life’s heady heights give way to stony ground Littered with a slew of bones and dreams. Old souls with tales of miracles to tell Shimmer with the luster of the East. Here in the West worn gifts are tossed aside. They’re shoved in cobwebbed corners, locked away In musty rooms where memories gather dust, And ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls. . Poet’s Note: Brian Yapko’s inspirational comment below, together with his challenge to write my first blank verse poem, is how “Kintsugi” came to be: this trio of poems reminds me of the Japanese practice of kintsugi, in which ceramics which have been broken are repaired with gold leaf paste such that the cracks now display a delicate beauty which enhances the meaning and value of the damaged vessel. Such objects are deeply treasured as works of art. . . Susan Jarvis Bryant has poetry published on Lighten Up Online, Snakeskin, Light, Sparks of Calliope, and Expansive Poetry Online. She also has poetry published in TRINACRIA, Beth Houston’s Extreme Formal Poems anthology, and in Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets in the UK). Susan is the winner of the 2020 International SCP Poetry Competition, and has been nominated for the 2022 Pushcart Prize. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. CODEC Stories:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 42 Responses Susan Jarvis Bryant January 5, 2024 This poem took me out of my comfort zone and challenged me. I rose to the challenge, but I’m not sure I have done the blank verse form justice. Whether I give it another try depends upon the success (or not) of this one. I welcome words of criticism… as brutal as is necessary. I’m very interested to hear readers’ reactions. Reply Michael Vanyukov January 5, 2024 Susan, I am no critic. I don’t even have the wherewithal to cast any doubt on any English-language poetry, as you well know. It’s not about that at all. I always regret, however, when the full arsenal of the rhyme, of which you are so masterful, is not used. Even a trace of it, which is very much tractable there, creates chords that make one sing. I love Kintsugi. Reply fred schueler January 5, 2024 Our “Life Rules” poster (available from ) contains the maxim “- You don’t really own anything until you’ve repaired it. -“ Reply fred schueler January 5, 2024 my e-mail address was edited out of the above comment, but you can just google my name to find it Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 5, 2024 Thank you, Fred – A marvelous maxim. I’ll check it out. Mark Stellinga January 5, 2024 Hi Susan, as a penner of exclusively R & M for more than 60 years (as you know), this little doo-dad (one of many) clearly conveys my perspective on the matter, though your piece is absolutely phenomenal. Are you not good at anything? 🙂 Hi to Mike – Reply Mark Stellinga January 5, 2024 Forgot to attach – maybe Connie’s right!?!?!? Here’s the doo-dad – From a Rhymer’s Perspective “Those who assert – particularly teachers – that all that a “Poem” requires To make it a “Poem” is to — claim that it is — are either mistaken – or liars! The fact that the hours and effort required for penning in meter and rhyme Are more than they’re willing to *spend* and to *make*…while I feel the *work* and the *time* Are worth the investment, is where – to their detriment – ‘rhymers’ and ‘prosers’ divide… And why most who publish refuse to invest in a genre that’s pretty much died! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 5, 2024 Mark, thank you for this. I hear where you’re coming from which is why I always feel a little awkward with blank verse. For me personally, it feels like I haven’t done my job properly as a poet… even though the Bard and many great poets, including those here at the SCP, have employed the form and I’ve been inspired by it. It should, but it doesn’t come naturally, which is why it’s a bit of a trial run with a request for feedback. Thank you for yours… I thoroughly appreciate it. Reply Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 I think the practice of Kintsugi, which you’ve let me know of today, is beautiful and reflective of life, as you’ve conveyed in your poem — the “scuffs and scrapes and scars” give MORE value to the item than if it was in perfect condition. The imperfections give it perfection. And personally, though I know full well this is a PERSONAL bias, I do much prefer poetry with rhyme and I do think it elevates any poem it’s included in. Though, that isn’t to say anything that doesn’t is “lesser”, as your poem is still incredibly beautiful for the points I’ve made above. And a poet should never be afraid to experiment with anything, as long as it doesn’t get too crazy, like the super liberal online publications with their “prose poetry” and other such abominations. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 6, 2024 Drilon, thank you very much for your honest feedback. I will admit to preferring rhyme endings – rhyming comes naturally to me when writing in meter. I had to try hard not to rhyme. I agree with you on the experimental front. I love a challenge – I know it helps me to grow as a poet. Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Mark, I think it comes down to a lack of good education in schools. I wasn’t even AWARE of metre until I stumbled onto SCP months ago and that prompted me to do some heavy research and eventually put me on a path to understanding it. I’m certain a teacher back in the day probably talked about iambic pentametre perfunctorily and so it went over most pupils’ heads, even mine. Formal verse poetry needs to be recited in schools during English lessons regularly so the students can familiarise themselves with metre and rhyme and understand it from a young age. Many great poets have been educated in that way, and today’s prodigies will have mostly free verse dross recited to them and studied in schools — no wonder potential poets struggle to understand it because if it took me, an educated 20-something year old, getting used to, imagine what it would be like for someone younger. As Yeats said, it sometimes took him hours to write a single line; whereas, in that time some angsty teen can write a whole book of freeverse “poetry”. I guess people are built different. Though, free verse can be good, most of it is dross. Reply Mark Stellinga January 6, 2024 Drilon, I couldn’t agree more, or more strongly. This little piece, which is a 100% true story, fits in well, I think, with where we and countless other SCPers are coming from. To me, prose can be *very pretty*, while verse – EXCELLENT VERSE – can be *absolutely stunning*. If I’m Gonna Help You Write a Poem…It’s Going to Rhyme! Just the other morning I was working in my den, wrestling with a piece I’d written 2, 3 weeks before, When nephew, David Jensen, who had stayed with us that night, and was struggling with his homework – did a ‘tap-tap’ on my door. “You don’t have to knock,” I said, “you’re not disturbing me… I’m working on a poem I wrote a couple weeks ago.” “Our homework for the weekend is to – write a poem,” he whined…and, Uncle Mark… you’re the only poet that I know… “So I was kinda hopin’ you would help me with my project. Luckily our teacher says, ‘it doesn’t have to rhyme!’” “Doesn’t have to rhyme,” I roared…“that would make it prose… and I will not be party to a literary crime! “I’ve been writing metered verse for more than 30 years, and – having cut no corners in the process all that time – If she’s disappointed you can blame the piece on me, ‘cause if I’m gonna help you write a poem…it’s going to rhyme! Then little brother, Grant, piped up – who’d also stayed the night, with…“I’ll whip up a picture that will sorta match the piece! I’m super good at drawing,” he self-confidently bragged…a trait we knew he’d gotten from our not-so-humble niece! Well, by the time the poem was finished – and the illustration – both the boys and I were feelin’ pretty doggone good… And while – like me – they, too, agree that ‘POETRY’ needn’t rhyme…they now believe, to be a ‘POEM’ — opposed to ‘PROSE’ — it should! Vive la RHYME – 🙂 Margaret Coats January 5, 2024 Susan, you’ve risen to a challenge to write in an unfamiliar style using “unfamiliar style” as your subject matter! That the unique thing about this poem. And it’s a good poem, first describing the nature and purpose of kintsugi, and then going into a symbolic discourse about souls broken in some way, who have unrecognized value, but who could be more valued when the kintsugi analogy is understood. As the poem moves to a close, the state of these souls seems rather dismal, but it shines again as it should in your final line, telling how “ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls.” Maybe one of the difficult things was to create this logic less dependent on the play of language than your usual work. You still have plenty of wordplay that suits blank verse but perhaps shows resistance to it. An occasional end rhyme like “birth” and “worth” is acceptable in blank verse. Your love of internal rhyme is restrained here, but still present in “gleaming seam” followed by assonant “meaning” and much later imperfectly end-rhymed with “dreams.” This is the usual Susan showing through. After all, you are the same poet! But does that detract from the quality of blank verse? I would say no, though it is noticeable, as is “kissed,” one of your most favored adjectives. The arrangement of the poem in regular tercets seems more problematic, but blank verse is not always long blocks of iambic pentameter. Shakespeare’s drama has irregular natural breaks when the speaker changes. Here you might have done thought paragraph blocks with 9 lines, 6 lines, and 6 lines. Not necessary, but another way to outline structure, and use blank verse freedom to indicate development outside stanza patterns. The ideas expressed in the poem give me a new view of kintsugi, as does the chosen illustration. I am familiar with the technique used on precious historic tea bowls–items no one would ever think of throwing away because they have been touched by great masters of the tea ceremony. The repair on classic ceramic is done such that the gold seams absolutely glow. And it’s ordinarily one or two breaks being repaired. I have never seen such a thing as a shattered cooking pot put together again in the kintsugi manner but using what looks like white paste rather than “kin” (gold). But the poem explains that this may be done simply because the repaired object is “dear to hearts.” I understand. I keep jewelry on my dresser in a green glass bowl that belonged to my grandmother. I used it (as she did) for vegetables on the table until it got a crack that couldn’t take heat or dishwashing anymore. Not repaired, but treasured. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Margaret, I thoroughly appreciate your generous comment which has given me a greater insight into the craft of blank verse. I have admired many poems written in blank verse, but (as mentioned above) have never been drawn to try it… until challenged. I am especially grateful for your mention of the arrangement of the poem. I tried several layouts and decided upon regular tercets for extra clarity and to hold the reader’s attention. But it felt like a mistake, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it… so I reached out for help… thank you very much for your fine eye! I’m also thrilled that the one end rhyme does not distract from the overall piece… the words “worth” and “rebirth” were so important to the message of the piece, I wanted to emphasize them in the only way I saw suitable. I am glad it worked for you. I am so happy you appreciated Evan’s chosen illustration. I believe it frames my poem perfectly. Evan has an uncanny knack for matching pictures to poems, which I am most grateful for. Margaret, you have been most helpful. Thank you very much indeed! Reply Cynthia Erlandson January 5, 2024 I think you’ve done a beautiful job of fleshing out the metaphor in creative ways here, Susan, which maybe was a little harder for being an obvious metaphor. I love “Littered with a slew of bones and dreams”, and “And ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls.” My general rule for judging poetry has been, the more poetic elements it can use, the better — which has made it seem clear that using rhyme would be something one would want to use; but I think there are times (maybe themes?) for which blank verse is very appropriate, because the form itself speaks. (Perhaps that means the same thing as “The medium is the message.”?) I’m coming up short in defining what those themes might be, or how exactly that works, but I imagine someone here can articulate it better than I’m doing. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Cynthia, as you are enviably adept at this form, I put great store in your opinion and thank you for it. I understand exactly what you mean when you say, “The medium is the message.” The message in this poem would have been overshadowed by the soar of sonorous end rhymes… it needed restraint and a quiet beauty to allow the meaning to blossom and shine through lines that were delicate and not gaudy. I was drawn to indulge myself in a few tricks of the trade within the body of the poem, simply because it lacked end rhymes. I’m glad you didn’t feel I was too heavy handed. Cynthia, you have made me smile. Reply Brian A. Yapko January 5, 2024 Susan, I adore this poem both for its utter uniqueness in the Bryant canon of works and for its admirable qualities as a poem irrespective of who wrote it. Since you accepted my challenge to attempt blank verse on this meaningful subject, I must comment on the former. Yes, this is unusual for you but it is beautiful and it demonstrates a restraint that is, at least to my unsophisticated eyes, approaches Japanese in spirit. This restraint is suited admirably to the subject. As Margaret notes above, your work is still “Susan” — you still use alliteration and internal rhyme to some degree — but they’ve been muted. And as that aspect of your work recedes, we see you spotlight language itself, the meaning of individual words with less emphasis on their sound. For certain subjects this is clearly the best poetic choice. Kintsugi is one of those subjects. And with it, it is clear that you’ve entered into a new and different poetic realm. You’ve met the challenge admirably. The poem itself is charming, meaningful and descriptive of some complex spiritual and psychological ideas that, frankly, I think might be undermined by the need to rhyme. It seems to me that if you tried to take this poem, with its intricacy of thought, and turned it into a rhyming poem important meaning would actually be lost. The poem would actually be diminished. Looking at the last four lines of the piece: “Here in the West worn gifts are tossed aside. They’re shoved in cobwebbed corners, locked away In musty rooms where memories gather dust, And ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls.” I cannot imagine more beauty and meaning compressed into four lines of poetry than you present here. Susan, I think you can add a talent for blank verse to your already formidable list of poetic gifts — a talent whose expression is not only liberating but invigorating. Well done! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Brian, I owe you one helluva huge THANK YOU! This poem would not exist without you. You inspired it with a comment and a challenge, and I was encouraged by your own adept employment of the form. I enjoy reading well composed blank verse, but have never felt a strong urge to turn my hand to it, thinking I would stick with what I know best… I thought I would fail abysmally. Your comment has heartened me greatly and I can fully appreciate how this form works for certain subjects… the exquisite art of kintsugi really did call for blank verse. I am over the moon that you are taken with my last four lines. I sweated over these… especially the closing line which took me hours and several changes… most unusual for me… and to read your words has made it all worthwhile. Most importantly, I want to try my hand at this form again. I thank you wholeheartedly for the inspiration, the challenge, and the encouraging and beautiful feedback. I am honored and most grateful for all you have done to make this poem possible. Reply Roy Eugene Peterson January 5, 2024 This is only my second time to comment on a blank verse poem. Your words are beautiful, but as I responded to the first one, “if there is no rhyme, it is a waste of time.” I would love to see a rhymed version of this. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Roy, thank you very much for your kind words of appreciation and thank you for your honest opinion. I will try to write a rhyming version, although I am beginning to think it might not work… it will be interesting. Reply Norma Pain January 5, 2024 Years ago I knew a lady who wrote a few beautiful free verse poems that I really enjoyed. I made an attempt at it but my efforts were rubbish! I love the music of meter and rhyme and have difficulty enjoying anything else, sadly this one included Susan. But I do appreciate the message contained in your poem and the beauty of Kintsugi which I knew nothing about. Thank you Susan. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Norma, thank you so very much for your honest feedback. I fully appreciate your views on this and respect them. As I said to Roy above, I will give a rhyming version a go… just to see if I can get my message across without stifling the main crux of it with heavy-handed rhyme. I’m thoroughly enjoying this experiment. Reply Paul Freeman January 5, 2024 Are the ashes of those who dropped and broke the vessels kept inside (that’s a joke)? I enjoyed the poem and learned something new. The blank verse didn’t read like one of you nature poems, especially, though. Why not try a rhyming version, too? I did a sonnet and a free verse version of a poem about the shipwreck of the Endeavour. Most folk who gave a preference, preferred the free verse version. There’s a TV channel I often watch that regularly features Japanese arts like ‘kintsugi’ called NHK World Japan. Reply Paul A. Freeman January 6, 2024 I’ve had another read. I felt ‘scuffs and scrapes and scars’ and other alliteration worked well. ‘Gained’ so close to the word ‘pain’ jarred for me, as though you couldn’t help yourself putting a near rhyme in. Maybe change ‘gained’ to ‘earned’ or something of the ilk. I also felt that too much internal rhyming (though not in this instance) would defeat the object of blank verse. But that’s only my personal opinion to the your call for constructive criticism, Susan. By the way, the documentaries on the Japanese channel I mentioned in the previous post are interesting, informative, but usually twice as long as they might be – who needs a one-hour documentary on kaki fruits? Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Paul, I thoroughly appreciate your feedback on this. Although I’ve written plenty of free verse poems in my time, this is my very first attempt at blank verse – a completely different animal, one that I respect a whole lot more having gone through the creation process. I’ve enjoyed the blank verse of the literary greats, but never felt moved to try. I’m glad I did. This won’t be the last one. I take on board the possible heavy-handedness of pain/gained. I have been wondering about certain aspects of the poem, and the feedback as a whole is very helpful. Thank you very much for yours… and that documentary sounds interesting, especially now I’ve written about this fascinating and humbling art. Joshua C. Frank January 5, 2024 Susan, this is great! You’ve risen admirably to the blank verse challenge, even keeping the alliteration and internal rhyme. The lines are so recognizably yours despite not rhyming. The only problem is that lines 6 and 8 rhyme, so it leaves the reader wondering where the other rhymes are. I have trouble with blank verse myself, since there’s too much freedom to choose words with no restrictions on end words; like with free verse, I find that it’s like trying to build a sand castle with only dry sand. One poet said the tyranny of rhyme forced him to come up with his best lines, and this is my experience as well. Yet you came up with really good lines without it, especially those last four, which really leave me with a lot to think about and possibly some poem ideas. If you want another poetic challenge, how about Anglo-Saxon alliterative verse, which is in tetrameter and has the first three stressed syllables in each line start with the same sound, but no end rhymes? Or what about Welsh consonance requirements? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynghanedd Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Joshua, thank you so much for this. As I said above, I was wondering about my cheeky liberty with sneaking in an end rhyme… and you do have a point (although Margaret felt once was okay) I simply couldn’t help myself, and after I lapsed into my naughty habit, no other words would do. I think I’m addicted to rhyme. Mike and I speak in rhyming couplets, so anything short of sing song denies me a lyric hit. Like you, others have noticed that they can still hear my voice in this form, and I’m happy about that. I too like the constraints of form which includes end rhymes… the more freedom I have the less focused I am… I really had to concentrate with this one. As for your Anglo-Saxon alliterative verse challenge, WOW!!! That’s a huge one to undertake… but, as you well know, I’m always up for a challenge when it comes to poetry, so watch this space… you may be watching for some time… but I would like to have a go at it – the word “alliterative” is human catnip to this poet. Reply Brian A. Yapko January 6, 2024 Oh ye blank verse naysayers, I have a quote for you and then a question: “Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal tast Brought Death into the World, and all our woe, With loss of Eden, till one greater Man Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat, Sing Heav’nly Muse, that on the secret top Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire That Shepherd, who first taught the chosen Seed, In the Beginning how the Heav’ns and Earth Rose out of Chaos: or if Sion Hill Delight thee more, and Siloa’s brook that flow’d Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song, That with no middle flight intends to soar Above th’ Aonian Mount, while it pursues Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime.” This is the opening of John Milton’s “Paradise Lost.” Now would Milton’s work really have been better had he “tamed” it with rhyme? In my humble opinion, not so much. In fact, it might well have trivialized the subject. Reply Monika Cooper January 6, 2024 Brian, you and Milton have a good point here: blank verse allows for achievements outside the scope of either “Prose or Rhime.” It is its own irreplaceable thing in our tradition, no “middle flight” compromise. Reply Brian A. Yapko January 7, 2024 Absolutely right, Monika. I read yesterday in the blank verse article on Wikipedia that almost 75% of English poetry since the Renaissance has been written in blank verse. That’s a lot of poetry. And think of the notable examples from so many diverse poets: William Wordsworth’s “Prelude”, Robert Browning’s “Fra Lippo Lippi,” Longfellow’s “Hiawatha,” William Butler Yeats’ “The Second Coming”… The list goes on and on. Rhyme or no rhyme, classical poetry would be impoverished without it. Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 Just to be a contrarian, I do not agree that Paradise Lost is blank verse. I am in Robert Bridges’ camp (“Milton’s Prosody”) and think it syllabic. Milton in his preface complained of the effort of putting it in rhyme and took some pains to justify the bold decision for the time not to use rhyme. The history he cites is persuasive in that Homer didn’t use it, and Virgil also in the Aeneid. For as mighty as Milton is, I found it really deflating to encounter his preface– especially in view of Dante. So there’s a different angle to take: Look at what Milton did to/for English poetry with the innovations he did decide to use (rhymless, neologisms, etc.) — just imagine what he could have accomplished if he would have applied that ingenuity to involving rhyme in some way! Still, I’m not saying blank verse has no place, but I will also deliver another contrarian opinion, that if metrical substitutions are permitted and the author isn’t super-careful to avoid ambiguous usages, then it’s elegant prose. But then again, elegant prose is totally fine– in the end that’s what rescues PL for me, the story itself. I’d be very curious to know one thing also — the very first time that the Odyssey and Iliad were written down– captured from the oral tradition: Did the writer employ line-breaks or run to the end of the page? I’m getting out in the weeds again and am in danger of hijacking the thread before I’ve even commented properly on it! Yikes Reply Brian A. Yapko January 6, 2024 Thanks for this interesting perspective, Daniel. I’m no scholar and I’ve not read Bridges. However, I think you’re in a minority in saying Milton did not write in blank verse. He’s universally considered one of THE masters of the form and a quick persual of scholarly papers shows that to be the general view. I just looked at papers from Yale and Cambridge. Blank verse. Blank verse. I scanned other material from poetry analysis sites and it is not only generally but universally so. Metrical, iambic pentameter in unrhymed lines. If you want to add to that the fact that Milton rigorously observed 10 syllables per line, that would be of interest to describe the style he preferred in executing blank verse, but I don’t think it would not negate the fact of it. But again, I’m no scholar. Joe Salemi or Margaret Coats would almost certainly have more authoratative views on this subject to which I would defer. But let me also point out (for Susan’s and other readers’ benefit as well as for your own) that Milton’s poetry is not the only memorable poetry in blank verse. I’ll quote the Wikipedia article on blank verse and leave it there: “Christopher Marlowe was the first English author to achieve critical fame for his use of blank verse. The major achievements in English blank verse were made by William Shakespeare, who wrote much of the content of his plays in unrhymed iambic pentameter, and John Milton, whose Paradise Lost is written in blank verse. Miltonic blank verse was widely imitated in the 18th century by such poets as James Thomson (in The Seasons) and William Cowper (in The Task). Romantic English poets such as William Wordsworth, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and John Keats used blank verse as a major form. Shortly afterwards, Alfred, Lord Tennyson became particularly devoted to blank verse, using it for example in his long narrative poem “The Princess”, as well as for one of his most famous poems: “Ulysses”. Among American poets, Hart Crane and Wallace Stevens are notable for using blank verse in extended compositions at a time when many other poets were turning to free verse.” There is thus a venerable history of the greatest English poets (Milton, Shakespeare, Marlowe, Tennyson, Wordsworth, Shelley, Keats, et al.) using blank verse to great effect. I think Susan’s efforts are in line with a great English literary tradition which should not be dismissed as rhyming poetry’s bastard cousin. The beautiful result of Susan’s work certainly speaks for itself. Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 I’m replying to my own post because there’s no reply button on the one below. I’m aware of the majority. I have never been able to make Milton sound sufficiently regular in my ear. I accept that I’m in the minority. I think if you did a double-blind study of listeners hearing PL and say, Areopagitica, or other prose you would not get a statistically significant result of distinguishing prose from blank verse. Anyway, that’s my position. I might be in a position to do some empirical testing in about a year. We’ll see… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton%27s_Prosody The Prosody of Paradise Lost Bridges shows that: there are no lines with fewer than ten syllables in Paradise Lost with a suitable definition of elision, there are no mid-line extra-metrical syllables the stresses may fall at any point in the line, although most lines have the standard five stresses, there are examples of lines with only three and four stresses. Thus according to Bridges’ analysis Milton was writing a form of syllabic verse. At the time this was a controversial thesis. George Saintsbury disagreed with Bridges, and stated that Milton had simply been using standard extra-metrical liberties, but Bridges was able to answer this objection by showing that every single instance in the poem of such a variation from the norm could be explained by his natural definition of elision; this would be extremely unlikely to be the case if the poet had simply been allowing himself extra-metrical variations as described by Saintsbury. Bridges took the very restricted range of Milton’s variations to be a proof of his thesis. Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Brian, thank you very much for this. And thank you, Monika. Blank verse really is “its own irreplaceable thing in our tradition” – a form I have always had respect for, but since personally attempting it, I have an even greater respect. Reply Cheryl Corey January 6, 2024 Susan, I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s not at all what I’ve come to expect from you. I can’t honestly say that I love it, but I respect your effort. In a way, however, I feel that the blank verse is suitable for the subject matter, as fragmented as the “Chipped and broken vessels”. Hopefully I’m making some sense here. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Cheryl, you are making a lot of sense. I approached this challenge with the same thoughts as you. I felt the form was suited to the subject matter, but blank verse didn’t excite me. As I said above, I love the great literary works that employ this form, but I am not drawn to it as a poet. Having tried, I feel differently. I can appreciate you not loving it… I’m still warming to the poem myself. I tried hard with it, but I didn’t get a wow-I-got-that-one-right feel when I’d finished. Through others’ eyes, I am learning to love my poem… and would like to try again. To have your honest feedback is a privilege. Thank you! Reply Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 Yo! I’m not sure if you feel like blank verse is something of broken rhyming verse — I have to fight off the feeling sometimes. But, in that case, it makes the choice of kintsugi as the subject matter for your venture into unrhymed verse quite an interesting selection. You know that I’m a fan of finding value in brokenness, so I loved the thematic exploration here. More to say, but I’m late to the game and so I think it’s already been said. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Daniel, thank you very much for this interesting observation. I like your thoughts on the brokenness of the form maybe echoing or highlighting the subject matter… how interesting. For me, blank verse has always sounded like an oxymoron… the words jar, they don’t appeal. Even though I have great respect for the form and admiration for many poems written in this form, I have never been excited to try it myself… BUT, I’ve learned, and I want to produce more of it. This is why… and it’s a personal thing: Blank verse made me think much more about the meaning of words and how they weave together to create a message and images that rise beyond prose with a richness not reliant upon the musicality of end rhymes… a music which (in my case) may detract from the quiet beauty shining beneath the sonorous surface boom… just like those ghosts floating in the sheen of unseen pearls in my closing line. And before you think I’ve gone completely insane, I will bid you a goodnight in the hope that you may understand a little of what I’ve just said. Reply Stephen Dickey January 7, 2024 I enjoyed this quite a lot. Not sure what the issue is here with no rhyme. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Thank you, Stephen. I’m thrilled to hear you enjoyed the poem without the end rhymes… that tells me not to rule out blank verse in the future. Reply Martin Rizley January 9, 2024 Susan, the fact that you have written this poem in blank verse does not seem to me to reduce its poetic value in any way. Blank verse is, after all, a recognized form of classical poetry. Moreover, there is a world of difference between blank verse and free verse. Blank verse follows a predetermined form with respect to meter– quite strictly, in fact; free verse has no recognizable from, but consists of a sort of monologue on the part of the poet, which may be declamatory and rhythmic in feel, but which conforms to no predetermined rhythmic or metrical scheme. I love the way you have used the image of a broken vessel– its parts reassembled and its value enhanced through the use of a gold sealant– as a metaphor for the way human lives can be put back together and ennobled after life-shattering experiences. How many people can identify with this theme! They look back at their own lives and see how, when the future was looking bleak and uncertain after the death of certain dreams, plans and agendas, that it was in fact the prelude to a new phase in life. I am reminded of Paul´s teaching on divine grace turning once hopeless people into “new creations”, among which he included himself. The beauty of the imagery and language is in no way diminished, in my opinion, by the absence of rhyme. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Martin, thank you very much for your fine eye and most welcome observations. I believe blank verse is often confused with free verse, and your explanation is most helpful. I especially love your mention of Paul´s teaching “on divine grace turning once hopeless people into “new creations”, among which he included himself.” I believe overcoming “brokenness” is a path to knowledge that benefits all those willing to listen to the wisdom gained from such an experience… which is why our society should afford more value to those it often turns its back on. Martin, your comment is much appreciated. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Captcha loading...In order to pass the CAPTCHA please enable JavaScript. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 5, 2024 This poem took me out of my comfort zone and challenged me. I rose to the challenge, but I’m not sure I have done the blank verse form justice. Whether I give it another try depends upon the success (or not) of this one. I welcome words of criticism… as brutal as is necessary. I’m very interested to hear readers’ reactions. Reply
Michael Vanyukov January 5, 2024 Susan, I am no critic. I don’t even have the wherewithal to cast any doubt on any English-language poetry, as you well know. It’s not about that at all. I always regret, however, when the full arsenal of the rhyme, of which you are so masterful, is not used. Even a trace of it, which is very much tractable there, creates chords that make one sing. I love Kintsugi. Reply
fred schueler January 5, 2024 Our “Life Rules” poster (available from ) contains the maxim “- You don’t really own anything until you’ve repaired it. -“ Reply
fred schueler January 5, 2024 my e-mail address was edited out of the above comment, but you can just google my name to find it Reply
Mark Stellinga January 5, 2024 Hi Susan, as a penner of exclusively R & M for more than 60 years (as you know), this little doo-dad (one of many) clearly conveys my perspective on the matter, though your piece is absolutely phenomenal. Are you not good at anything? 🙂 Hi to Mike – Reply
Mark Stellinga January 5, 2024 Forgot to attach – maybe Connie’s right!?!?!? Here’s the doo-dad – From a Rhymer’s Perspective “Those who assert – particularly teachers – that all that a “Poem” requires To make it a “Poem” is to — claim that it is — are either mistaken – or liars! The fact that the hours and effort required for penning in meter and rhyme Are more than they’re willing to *spend* and to *make*…while I feel the *work* and the *time* Are worth the investment, is where – to their detriment – ‘rhymers’ and ‘prosers’ divide… And why most who publish refuse to invest in a genre that’s pretty much died! Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 5, 2024 Mark, thank you for this. I hear where you’re coming from which is why I always feel a little awkward with blank verse. For me personally, it feels like I haven’t done my job properly as a poet… even though the Bard and many great poets, including those here at the SCP, have employed the form and I’ve been inspired by it. It should, but it doesn’t come naturally, which is why it’s a bit of a trial run with a request for feedback. Thank you for yours… I thoroughly appreciate it. Reply
Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 I think the practice of Kintsugi, which you’ve let me know of today, is beautiful and reflective of life, as you’ve conveyed in your poem — the “scuffs and scrapes and scars” give MORE value to the item than if it was in perfect condition. The imperfections give it perfection. And personally, though I know full well this is a PERSONAL bias, I do much prefer poetry with rhyme and I do think it elevates any poem it’s included in. Though, that isn’t to say anything that doesn’t is “lesser”, as your poem is still incredibly beautiful for the points I’ve made above. And a poet should never be afraid to experiment with anything, as long as it doesn’t get too crazy, like the super liberal online publications with their “prose poetry” and other such abominations. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 6, 2024 Drilon, thank you very much for your honest feedback. I will admit to preferring rhyme endings – rhyming comes naturally to me when writing in meter. I had to try hard not to rhyme. I agree with you on the experimental front. I love a challenge – I know it helps me to grow as a poet.
Drilon Bajrami January 5, 2024 Mark, I think it comes down to a lack of good education in schools. I wasn’t even AWARE of metre until I stumbled onto SCP months ago and that prompted me to do some heavy research and eventually put me on a path to understanding it. I’m certain a teacher back in the day probably talked about iambic pentametre perfunctorily and so it went over most pupils’ heads, even mine. Formal verse poetry needs to be recited in schools during English lessons regularly so the students can familiarise themselves with metre and rhyme and understand it from a young age. Many great poets have been educated in that way, and today’s prodigies will have mostly free verse dross recited to them and studied in schools — no wonder potential poets struggle to understand it because if it took me, an educated 20-something year old, getting used to, imagine what it would be like for someone younger. As Yeats said, it sometimes took him hours to write a single line; whereas, in that time some angsty teen can write a whole book of freeverse “poetry”. I guess people are built different. Though, free verse can be good, most of it is dross. Reply
Mark Stellinga January 6, 2024 Drilon, I couldn’t agree more, or more strongly. This little piece, which is a 100% true story, fits in well, I think, with where we and countless other SCPers are coming from. To me, prose can be *very pretty*, while verse – EXCELLENT VERSE – can be *absolutely stunning*. If I’m Gonna Help You Write a Poem…It’s Going to Rhyme! Just the other morning I was working in my den, wrestling with a piece I’d written 2, 3 weeks before, When nephew, David Jensen, who had stayed with us that night, and was struggling with his homework – did a ‘tap-tap’ on my door. “You don’t have to knock,” I said, “you’re not disturbing me… I’m working on a poem I wrote a couple weeks ago.” “Our homework for the weekend is to – write a poem,” he whined…and, Uncle Mark… you’re the only poet that I know… “So I was kinda hopin’ you would help me with my project. Luckily our teacher says, ‘it doesn’t have to rhyme!’” “Doesn’t have to rhyme,” I roared…“that would make it prose… and I will not be party to a literary crime! “I’ve been writing metered verse for more than 30 years, and – having cut no corners in the process all that time – If she’s disappointed you can blame the piece on me, ‘cause if I’m gonna help you write a poem…it’s going to rhyme! Then little brother, Grant, piped up – who’d also stayed the night, with…“I’ll whip up a picture that will sorta match the piece! I’m super good at drawing,” he self-confidently bragged…a trait we knew he’d gotten from our not-so-humble niece! Well, by the time the poem was finished – and the illustration – both the boys and I were feelin’ pretty doggone good… And while – like me – they, too, agree that ‘POETRY’ needn’t rhyme…they now believe, to be a ‘POEM’ — opposed to ‘PROSE’ — it should! Vive la RHYME – 🙂
Margaret Coats January 5, 2024 Susan, you’ve risen to a challenge to write in an unfamiliar style using “unfamiliar style” as your subject matter! That the unique thing about this poem. And it’s a good poem, first describing the nature and purpose of kintsugi, and then going into a symbolic discourse about souls broken in some way, who have unrecognized value, but who could be more valued when the kintsugi analogy is understood. As the poem moves to a close, the state of these souls seems rather dismal, but it shines again as it should in your final line, telling how “ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls.” Maybe one of the difficult things was to create this logic less dependent on the play of language than your usual work. You still have plenty of wordplay that suits blank verse but perhaps shows resistance to it. An occasional end rhyme like “birth” and “worth” is acceptable in blank verse. Your love of internal rhyme is restrained here, but still present in “gleaming seam” followed by assonant “meaning” and much later imperfectly end-rhymed with “dreams.” This is the usual Susan showing through. After all, you are the same poet! But does that detract from the quality of blank verse? I would say no, though it is noticeable, as is “kissed,” one of your most favored adjectives. The arrangement of the poem in regular tercets seems more problematic, but blank verse is not always long blocks of iambic pentameter. Shakespeare’s drama has irregular natural breaks when the speaker changes. Here you might have done thought paragraph blocks with 9 lines, 6 lines, and 6 lines. Not necessary, but another way to outline structure, and use blank verse freedom to indicate development outside stanza patterns. The ideas expressed in the poem give me a new view of kintsugi, as does the chosen illustration. I am familiar with the technique used on precious historic tea bowls–items no one would ever think of throwing away because they have been touched by great masters of the tea ceremony. The repair on classic ceramic is done such that the gold seams absolutely glow. And it’s ordinarily one or two breaks being repaired. I have never seen such a thing as a shattered cooking pot put together again in the kintsugi manner but using what looks like white paste rather than “kin” (gold). But the poem explains that this may be done simply because the repaired object is “dear to hearts.” I understand. I keep jewelry on my dresser in a green glass bowl that belonged to my grandmother. I used it (as she did) for vegetables on the table until it got a crack that couldn’t take heat or dishwashing anymore. Not repaired, but treasured. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Margaret, I thoroughly appreciate your generous comment which has given me a greater insight into the craft of blank verse. I have admired many poems written in blank verse, but (as mentioned above) have never been drawn to try it… until challenged. I am especially grateful for your mention of the arrangement of the poem. I tried several layouts and decided upon regular tercets for extra clarity and to hold the reader’s attention. But it felt like a mistake, and I wasn’t sure what to do about it… so I reached out for help… thank you very much for your fine eye! I’m also thrilled that the one end rhyme does not distract from the overall piece… the words “worth” and “rebirth” were so important to the message of the piece, I wanted to emphasize them in the only way I saw suitable. I am glad it worked for you. I am so happy you appreciated Evan’s chosen illustration. I believe it frames my poem perfectly. Evan has an uncanny knack for matching pictures to poems, which I am most grateful for. Margaret, you have been most helpful. Thank you very much indeed! Reply
Cynthia Erlandson January 5, 2024 I think you’ve done a beautiful job of fleshing out the metaphor in creative ways here, Susan, which maybe was a little harder for being an obvious metaphor. I love “Littered with a slew of bones and dreams”, and “And ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls.” My general rule for judging poetry has been, the more poetic elements it can use, the better — which has made it seem clear that using rhyme would be something one would want to use; but I think there are times (maybe themes?) for which blank verse is very appropriate, because the form itself speaks. (Perhaps that means the same thing as “The medium is the message.”?) I’m coming up short in defining what those themes might be, or how exactly that works, but I imagine someone here can articulate it better than I’m doing. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Cynthia, as you are enviably adept at this form, I put great store in your opinion and thank you for it. I understand exactly what you mean when you say, “The medium is the message.” The message in this poem would have been overshadowed by the soar of sonorous end rhymes… it needed restraint and a quiet beauty to allow the meaning to blossom and shine through lines that were delicate and not gaudy. I was drawn to indulge myself in a few tricks of the trade within the body of the poem, simply because it lacked end rhymes. I’m glad you didn’t feel I was too heavy handed. Cynthia, you have made me smile. Reply
Brian A. Yapko January 5, 2024 Susan, I adore this poem both for its utter uniqueness in the Bryant canon of works and for its admirable qualities as a poem irrespective of who wrote it. Since you accepted my challenge to attempt blank verse on this meaningful subject, I must comment on the former. Yes, this is unusual for you but it is beautiful and it demonstrates a restraint that is, at least to my unsophisticated eyes, approaches Japanese in spirit. This restraint is suited admirably to the subject. As Margaret notes above, your work is still “Susan” — you still use alliteration and internal rhyme to some degree — but they’ve been muted. And as that aspect of your work recedes, we see you spotlight language itself, the meaning of individual words with less emphasis on their sound. For certain subjects this is clearly the best poetic choice. Kintsugi is one of those subjects. And with it, it is clear that you’ve entered into a new and different poetic realm. You’ve met the challenge admirably. The poem itself is charming, meaningful and descriptive of some complex spiritual and psychological ideas that, frankly, I think might be undermined by the need to rhyme. It seems to me that if you tried to take this poem, with its intricacy of thought, and turned it into a rhyming poem important meaning would actually be lost. The poem would actually be diminished. Looking at the last four lines of the piece: “Here in the West worn gifts are tossed aside. They’re shoved in cobwebbed corners, locked away In musty rooms where memories gather dust, And ghosts float in the sheen of unseen pearls.” I cannot imagine more beauty and meaning compressed into four lines of poetry than you present here. Susan, I think you can add a talent for blank verse to your already formidable list of poetic gifts — a talent whose expression is not only liberating but invigorating. Well done! Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Brian, I owe you one helluva huge THANK YOU! This poem would not exist without you. You inspired it with a comment and a challenge, and I was encouraged by your own adept employment of the form. I enjoy reading well composed blank verse, but have never felt a strong urge to turn my hand to it, thinking I would stick with what I know best… I thought I would fail abysmally. Your comment has heartened me greatly and I can fully appreciate how this form works for certain subjects… the exquisite art of kintsugi really did call for blank verse. I am over the moon that you are taken with my last four lines. I sweated over these… especially the closing line which took me hours and several changes… most unusual for me… and to read your words has made it all worthwhile. Most importantly, I want to try my hand at this form again. I thank you wholeheartedly for the inspiration, the challenge, and the encouraging and beautiful feedback. I am honored and most grateful for all you have done to make this poem possible. Reply
Roy Eugene Peterson January 5, 2024 This is only my second time to comment on a blank verse poem. Your words are beautiful, but as I responded to the first one, “if there is no rhyme, it is a waste of time.” I would love to see a rhymed version of this. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Roy, thank you very much for your kind words of appreciation and thank you for your honest opinion. I will try to write a rhyming version, although I am beginning to think it might not work… it will be interesting. Reply
Norma Pain January 5, 2024 Years ago I knew a lady who wrote a few beautiful free verse poems that I really enjoyed. I made an attempt at it but my efforts were rubbish! I love the music of meter and rhyme and have difficulty enjoying anything else, sadly this one included Susan. But I do appreciate the message contained in your poem and the beauty of Kintsugi which I knew nothing about. Thank you Susan. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Norma, thank you so very much for your honest feedback. I fully appreciate your views on this and respect them. As I said to Roy above, I will give a rhyming version a go… just to see if I can get my message across without stifling the main crux of it with heavy-handed rhyme. I’m thoroughly enjoying this experiment. Reply
Paul Freeman January 5, 2024 Are the ashes of those who dropped and broke the vessels kept inside (that’s a joke)? I enjoyed the poem and learned something new. The blank verse didn’t read like one of you nature poems, especially, though. Why not try a rhyming version, too? I did a sonnet and a free verse version of a poem about the shipwreck of the Endeavour. Most folk who gave a preference, preferred the free verse version. There’s a TV channel I often watch that regularly features Japanese arts like ‘kintsugi’ called NHK World Japan. Reply
Paul A. Freeman January 6, 2024 I’ve had another read. I felt ‘scuffs and scrapes and scars’ and other alliteration worked well. ‘Gained’ so close to the word ‘pain’ jarred for me, as though you couldn’t help yourself putting a near rhyme in. Maybe change ‘gained’ to ‘earned’ or something of the ilk. I also felt that too much internal rhyming (though not in this instance) would defeat the object of blank verse. But that’s only my personal opinion to the your call for constructive criticism, Susan. By the way, the documentaries on the Japanese channel I mentioned in the previous post are interesting, informative, but usually twice as long as they might be – who needs a one-hour documentary on kaki fruits? Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Paul, I thoroughly appreciate your feedback on this. Although I’ve written plenty of free verse poems in my time, this is my very first attempt at blank verse – a completely different animal, one that I respect a whole lot more having gone through the creation process. I’ve enjoyed the blank verse of the literary greats, but never felt moved to try. I’m glad I did. This won’t be the last one. I take on board the possible heavy-handedness of pain/gained. I have been wondering about certain aspects of the poem, and the feedback as a whole is very helpful. Thank you very much for yours… and that documentary sounds interesting, especially now I’ve written about this fascinating and humbling art.
Joshua C. Frank January 5, 2024 Susan, this is great! You’ve risen admirably to the blank verse challenge, even keeping the alliteration and internal rhyme. The lines are so recognizably yours despite not rhyming. The only problem is that lines 6 and 8 rhyme, so it leaves the reader wondering where the other rhymes are. I have trouble with blank verse myself, since there’s too much freedom to choose words with no restrictions on end words; like with free verse, I find that it’s like trying to build a sand castle with only dry sand. One poet said the tyranny of rhyme forced him to come up with his best lines, and this is my experience as well. Yet you came up with really good lines without it, especially those last four, which really leave me with a lot to think about and possibly some poem ideas. If you want another poetic challenge, how about Anglo-Saxon alliterative verse, which is in tetrameter and has the first three stressed syllables in each line start with the same sound, but no end rhymes? Or what about Welsh consonance requirements? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynghanedd Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Joshua, thank you so much for this. As I said above, I was wondering about my cheeky liberty with sneaking in an end rhyme… and you do have a point (although Margaret felt once was okay) I simply couldn’t help myself, and after I lapsed into my naughty habit, no other words would do. I think I’m addicted to rhyme. Mike and I speak in rhyming couplets, so anything short of sing song denies me a lyric hit. Like you, others have noticed that they can still hear my voice in this form, and I’m happy about that. I too like the constraints of form which includes end rhymes… the more freedom I have the less focused I am… I really had to concentrate with this one. As for your Anglo-Saxon alliterative verse challenge, WOW!!! That’s a huge one to undertake… but, as you well know, I’m always up for a challenge when it comes to poetry, so watch this space… you may be watching for some time… but I would like to have a go at it – the word “alliterative” is human catnip to this poet. Reply
Brian A. Yapko January 6, 2024 Oh ye blank verse naysayers, I have a quote for you and then a question: “Of Mans First Disobedience, and the Fruit Of that Forbidden Tree, whose mortal tast Brought Death into the World, and all our woe, With loss of Eden, till one greater Man Restore us, and regain the blissful Seat, Sing Heav’nly Muse, that on the secret top Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire That Shepherd, who first taught the chosen Seed, In the Beginning how the Heav’ns and Earth Rose out of Chaos: or if Sion Hill Delight thee more, and Siloa’s brook that flow’d Fast by the Oracle of God; I thence Invoke thy aid to my adventrous Song, That with no middle flight intends to soar Above th’ Aonian Mount, while it pursues Things unattempted yet in Prose or Rhime.” This is the opening of John Milton’s “Paradise Lost.” Now would Milton’s work really have been better had he “tamed” it with rhyme? In my humble opinion, not so much. In fact, it might well have trivialized the subject. Reply
Monika Cooper January 6, 2024 Brian, you and Milton have a good point here: blank verse allows for achievements outside the scope of either “Prose or Rhime.” It is its own irreplaceable thing in our tradition, no “middle flight” compromise. Reply
Brian A. Yapko January 7, 2024 Absolutely right, Monika. I read yesterday in the blank verse article on Wikipedia that almost 75% of English poetry since the Renaissance has been written in blank verse. That’s a lot of poetry. And think of the notable examples from so many diverse poets: William Wordsworth’s “Prelude”, Robert Browning’s “Fra Lippo Lippi,” Longfellow’s “Hiawatha,” William Butler Yeats’ “The Second Coming”… The list goes on and on. Rhyme or no rhyme, classical poetry would be impoverished without it.
Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 Just to be a contrarian, I do not agree that Paradise Lost is blank verse. I am in Robert Bridges’ camp (“Milton’s Prosody”) and think it syllabic. Milton in his preface complained of the effort of putting it in rhyme and took some pains to justify the bold decision for the time not to use rhyme. The history he cites is persuasive in that Homer didn’t use it, and Virgil also in the Aeneid. For as mighty as Milton is, I found it really deflating to encounter his preface– especially in view of Dante. So there’s a different angle to take: Look at what Milton did to/for English poetry with the innovations he did decide to use (rhymless, neologisms, etc.) — just imagine what he could have accomplished if he would have applied that ingenuity to involving rhyme in some way! Still, I’m not saying blank verse has no place, but I will also deliver another contrarian opinion, that if metrical substitutions are permitted and the author isn’t super-careful to avoid ambiguous usages, then it’s elegant prose. But then again, elegant prose is totally fine– in the end that’s what rescues PL for me, the story itself. I’d be very curious to know one thing also — the very first time that the Odyssey and Iliad were written down– captured from the oral tradition: Did the writer employ line-breaks or run to the end of the page? I’m getting out in the weeds again and am in danger of hijacking the thread before I’ve even commented properly on it! Yikes Reply
Brian A. Yapko January 6, 2024 Thanks for this interesting perspective, Daniel. I’m no scholar and I’ve not read Bridges. However, I think you’re in a minority in saying Milton did not write in blank verse. He’s universally considered one of THE masters of the form and a quick persual of scholarly papers shows that to be the general view. I just looked at papers from Yale and Cambridge. Blank verse. Blank verse. I scanned other material from poetry analysis sites and it is not only generally but universally so. Metrical, iambic pentameter in unrhymed lines. If you want to add to that the fact that Milton rigorously observed 10 syllables per line, that would be of interest to describe the style he preferred in executing blank verse, but I don’t think it would not negate the fact of it. But again, I’m no scholar. Joe Salemi or Margaret Coats would almost certainly have more authoratative views on this subject to which I would defer. But let me also point out (for Susan’s and other readers’ benefit as well as for your own) that Milton’s poetry is not the only memorable poetry in blank verse. I’ll quote the Wikipedia article on blank verse and leave it there: “Christopher Marlowe was the first English author to achieve critical fame for his use of blank verse. The major achievements in English blank verse were made by William Shakespeare, who wrote much of the content of his plays in unrhymed iambic pentameter, and John Milton, whose Paradise Lost is written in blank verse. Miltonic blank verse was widely imitated in the 18th century by such poets as James Thomson (in The Seasons) and William Cowper (in The Task). Romantic English poets such as William Wordsworth, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and John Keats used blank verse as a major form. Shortly afterwards, Alfred, Lord Tennyson became particularly devoted to blank verse, using it for example in his long narrative poem “The Princess”, as well as for one of his most famous poems: “Ulysses”. Among American poets, Hart Crane and Wallace Stevens are notable for using blank verse in extended compositions at a time when many other poets were turning to free verse.” There is thus a venerable history of the greatest English poets (Milton, Shakespeare, Marlowe, Tennyson, Wordsworth, Shelley, Keats, et al.) using blank verse to great effect. I think Susan’s efforts are in line with a great English literary tradition which should not be dismissed as rhyming poetry’s bastard cousin. The beautiful result of Susan’s work certainly speaks for itself.
Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 I’m replying to my own post because there’s no reply button on the one below. I’m aware of the majority. I have never been able to make Milton sound sufficiently regular in my ear. I accept that I’m in the minority. I think if you did a double-blind study of listeners hearing PL and say, Areopagitica, or other prose you would not get a statistically significant result of distinguishing prose from blank verse. Anyway, that’s my position. I might be in a position to do some empirical testing in about a year. We’ll see… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milton%27s_Prosody The Prosody of Paradise Lost Bridges shows that: there are no lines with fewer than ten syllables in Paradise Lost with a suitable definition of elision, there are no mid-line extra-metrical syllables the stresses may fall at any point in the line, although most lines have the standard five stresses, there are examples of lines with only three and four stresses. Thus according to Bridges’ analysis Milton was writing a form of syllabic verse. At the time this was a controversial thesis. George Saintsbury disagreed with Bridges, and stated that Milton had simply been using standard extra-metrical liberties, but Bridges was able to answer this objection by showing that every single instance in the poem of such a variation from the norm could be explained by his natural definition of elision; this would be extremely unlikely to be the case if the poet had simply been allowing himself extra-metrical variations as described by Saintsbury. Bridges took the very restricted range of Milton’s variations to be a proof of his thesis.
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Brian, thank you very much for this. And thank you, Monika. Blank verse really is “its own irreplaceable thing in our tradition” – a form I have always had respect for, but since personally attempting it, I have an even greater respect. Reply
Cheryl Corey January 6, 2024 Susan, I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s not at all what I’ve come to expect from you. I can’t honestly say that I love it, but I respect your effort. In a way, however, I feel that the blank verse is suitable for the subject matter, as fragmented as the “Chipped and broken vessels”. Hopefully I’m making some sense here. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Cheryl, you are making a lot of sense. I approached this challenge with the same thoughts as you. I felt the form was suited to the subject matter, but blank verse didn’t excite me. As I said above, I love the great literary works that employ this form, but I am not drawn to it as a poet. Having tried, I feel differently. I can appreciate you not loving it… I’m still warming to the poem myself. I tried hard with it, but I didn’t get a wow-I-got-that-one-right feel when I’d finished. Through others’ eyes, I am learning to love my poem… and would like to try again. To have your honest feedback is a privilege. Thank you! Reply
Daniel Kemper January 6, 2024 Yo! I’m not sure if you feel like blank verse is something of broken rhyming verse — I have to fight off the feeling sometimes. But, in that case, it makes the choice of kintsugi as the subject matter for your venture into unrhymed verse quite an interesting selection. You know that I’m a fan of finding value in brokenness, so I loved the thematic exploration here. More to say, but I’m late to the game and so I think it’s already been said. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Daniel, thank you very much for this interesting observation. I like your thoughts on the brokenness of the form maybe echoing or highlighting the subject matter… how interesting. For me, blank verse has always sounded like an oxymoron… the words jar, they don’t appeal. Even though I have great respect for the form and admiration for many poems written in this form, I have never been excited to try it myself… BUT, I’ve learned, and I want to produce more of it. This is why… and it’s a personal thing: Blank verse made me think much more about the meaning of words and how they weave together to create a message and images that rise beyond prose with a richness not reliant upon the musicality of end rhymes… a music which (in my case) may detract from the quiet beauty shining beneath the sonorous surface boom… just like those ghosts floating in the sheen of unseen pearls in my closing line. And before you think I’ve gone completely insane, I will bid you a goodnight in the hope that you may understand a little of what I’ve just said. Reply
Stephen Dickey January 7, 2024 I enjoyed this quite a lot. Not sure what the issue is here with no rhyme. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Thank you, Stephen. I’m thrilled to hear you enjoyed the poem without the end rhymes… that tells me not to rule out blank verse in the future. Reply
Martin Rizley January 9, 2024 Susan, the fact that you have written this poem in blank verse does not seem to me to reduce its poetic value in any way. Blank verse is, after all, a recognized form of classical poetry. Moreover, there is a world of difference between blank verse and free verse. Blank verse follows a predetermined form with respect to meter– quite strictly, in fact; free verse has no recognizable from, but consists of a sort of monologue on the part of the poet, which may be declamatory and rhythmic in feel, but which conforms to no predetermined rhythmic or metrical scheme. I love the way you have used the image of a broken vessel– its parts reassembled and its value enhanced through the use of a gold sealant– as a metaphor for the way human lives can be put back together and ennobled after life-shattering experiences. How many people can identify with this theme! They look back at their own lives and see how, when the future was looking bleak and uncertain after the death of certain dreams, plans and agendas, that it was in fact the prelude to a new phase in life. I am reminded of Paul´s teaching on divine grace turning once hopeless people into “new creations”, among which he included himself. The beauty of the imagery and language is in no way diminished, in my opinion, by the absence of rhyme. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant January 9, 2024 Martin, thank you very much for your fine eye and most welcome observations. I believe blank verse is often confused with free verse, and your explanation is most helpful. I especially love your mention of Paul´s teaching “on divine grace turning once hopeless people into “new creations”, among which he included himself.” I believe overcoming “brokenness” is a path to knowledge that benefits all those willing to listen to the wisdom gained from such an experience… which is why our society should afford more value to those it often turns its back on. Martin, your comment is much appreciated. Reply
