"The Helping Hand" by Emile Renouf‘Without a Dad’ and Other Poetry by Gregory Ross The Society January 10, 2024 Beauty, Culture, Poetry, Rondeau 11 Comments . Without a Dad Without a Dad, you are not sure, And never know you could endure The many doubts that blur your sight, Or fears that stalk you every night; If he’s not present, there’s no cure. And then there is the world’s allure That offers all that is impure; You will not know just how to fight __Without a Dad. It’s lonely and it’s insecure, And without him you’re less mature. A smaller build, a size that’s slight, Yet few will ever know your plight, Cause you’ve become far more obscure __Without a Dad. . . Sometimes I Fly Sometimes I fly, and I know why: I spring from sin to cling to sky, And as I’m wrapped up in that blue, The world is focused into view, And I have gained a sharper eye. I do not have to be too high To see the ways of men belie. Because I pray for what is True, __Sometimes I fly. Below the ground is rough and dry, An empty space, a mournful sigh, Where diverse souls are warped askew, And what is vile is viewed anew. Because I want to live, not die, __Sometimes I fly. . . Gregory Ross is an emerging poet and a pilot who lives in Stafford, Virginia. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 11 Responses Margaret Coats January 10, 2024 This could be a pair of rondeaux on related themes. There are heartbreakingly perceptive images of the child “Without A Dad” as one who shrinks and vanishes. In “Sometimes I Fly,” I love the line, “I spring from sin to cling to sky.” This is one rondeau where the requisite two rhyme sounds appropriately include relevant words: “high” and “new.” The poem would be better, though, with a direct object for “belie” in line 7. Reply Sally Cook January 10, 2024 You are one who thinks and that is a powerful tool. Listen to Margaret; she knows whereof she speaks and her comments are always wise. Please keep submitting. You can learn a lot and a friendly one. Reply Roy Eugene Peterson January 11, 2024 “Without a Dad” resonates with true feelings of what it must be like to not have a dad around who hopefully would teach and give moral support. “Sometimes I Fly” is a perfect poem for someone who is a pilot! Classical poetry is a great release for the soul that not only assuages our own needs, but provides a voice that helps others with the sharing! You have done this admirably. Reply Alan Steinle January 11, 2024 You have chosen a challenging form to express your thoughts in. That’s great. For the most part, your rondeaux are very well written. Since I am a poet and an editor, I have some suggestions, which you are quite free to ignore or improve on. I often revise my own poems and I am always trying to improve my abilities. As someone once said, a poem is never finished, just abandoned. This might not be completely accurate, but it has some truth to it. Moving “without” improves the meter: It’s lonely and it’s insecure, And without him you’re less mature. It’s lonely and it’s insecure— Without him you are less mature. Adding a direct object after “belie” improves the grammar. You can probably think of a better way to phrase it. I do not have to be too high To see the ways of men belie. Because I pray for what is True, Sometimes I fly. I do not have to be too high To hear the words of men belie [contradict/misrepresent] The ones who pray for what is True. Sometimes I fly. Adding a comma after “below” prevents misreading: Below the ground is rough and dry, Below, the ground is rough and dry, Keep writing! Reply Gregory Ross January 12, 2024 Thank you all for the comments and advice – I’m always improving! I will be updating these poems on my end. Reply Joshua C. Frank January 12, 2024 I agree with Alan Steinle regarding meter, but I’m not sure what to think about the idea of the first one, as your description of a father is so unlike mine (he was extremely helpful in many ways, but what you describe was not one of them), so I think it would resonate with a fairly limited audience in today’s world. The second is largely abstract concepts; these have their place in poetry (see my poems “Encapsulations” and “Rhyming Maxims for Today,” parts I and II), but I’m not sure the rondeau is the best form for them. I would have chosen a simpler form such as quatrains with fixed rhyme and meter (examples: iambic tetrameter couplets, common meter abab). However, these are good starts. My first few poems were not as good as the ones that came after them; this is natural because we learn a lot from both reading and writing poetry. Keep it up! Reply Alan Steinle January 12, 2024 Gregory, on second thought, you might want to replace “belie” with a different rhyming word since that word is used only in special cases. I’m always trying to improve, too. I will have some new poems published on this website in about a week, and you can critique them if you feel like it. 🙂 Reply Peg January 13, 2024 I very much enjoyed these two poems, Mr Ross… thank you! Reply Gregory Ross January 16, 2024 Thank you, Peg! Reply David Whippman January 16, 2024 I found “Without a Dad” very poignant. My father died when I was 10. I’ve no doubt that it radically altered the whole course of my life. 64 years later, I am grateful for the life I’ve had, and count my blessings (and they are many, including a stepfather who was a good, decent man.) But there will always be that unanswerable, inevitable (though maybe futile) “what if?” Your poem asked that question anew, in an effective way. Reply Gregory Ross January 16, 2024 Thank you, David! Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Margaret Coats January 10, 2024 This could be a pair of rondeaux on related themes. There are heartbreakingly perceptive images of the child “Without A Dad” as one who shrinks and vanishes. In “Sometimes I Fly,” I love the line, “I spring from sin to cling to sky.” This is one rondeau where the requisite two rhyme sounds appropriately include relevant words: “high” and “new.” The poem would be better, though, with a direct object for “belie” in line 7. Reply
Sally Cook January 10, 2024 You are one who thinks and that is a powerful tool. Listen to Margaret; she knows whereof she speaks and her comments are always wise. Please keep submitting. You can learn a lot and a friendly one. Reply
Roy Eugene Peterson January 11, 2024 “Without a Dad” resonates with true feelings of what it must be like to not have a dad around who hopefully would teach and give moral support. “Sometimes I Fly” is a perfect poem for someone who is a pilot! Classical poetry is a great release for the soul that not only assuages our own needs, but provides a voice that helps others with the sharing! You have done this admirably. Reply
Alan Steinle January 11, 2024 You have chosen a challenging form to express your thoughts in. That’s great. For the most part, your rondeaux are very well written. Since I am a poet and an editor, I have some suggestions, which you are quite free to ignore or improve on. I often revise my own poems and I am always trying to improve my abilities. As someone once said, a poem is never finished, just abandoned. This might not be completely accurate, but it has some truth to it. Moving “without” improves the meter: It’s lonely and it’s insecure, And without him you’re less mature. It’s lonely and it’s insecure— Without him you are less mature. Adding a direct object after “belie” improves the grammar. You can probably think of a better way to phrase it. I do not have to be too high To see the ways of men belie. Because I pray for what is True, Sometimes I fly. I do not have to be too high To hear the words of men belie [contradict/misrepresent] The ones who pray for what is True. Sometimes I fly. Adding a comma after “below” prevents misreading: Below the ground is rough and dry, Below, the ground is rough and dry, Keep writing! Reply
Gregory Ross January 12, 2024 Thank you all for the comments and advice – I’m always improving! I will be updating these poems on my end. Reply
Joshua C. Frank January 12, 2024 I agree with Alan Steinle regarding meter, but I’m not sure what to think about the idea of the first one, as your description of a father is so unlike mine (he was extremely helpful in many ways, but what you describe was not one of them), so I think it would resonate with a fairly limited audience in today’s world. The second is largely abstract concepts; these have their place in poetry (see my poems “Encapsulations” and “Rhyming Maxims for Today,” parts I and II), but I’m not sure the rondeau is the best form for them. I would have chosen a simpler form such as quatrains with fixed rhyme and meter (examples: iambic tetrameter couplets, common meter abab). However, these are good starts. My first few poems were not as good as the ones that came after them; this is natural because we learn a lot from both reading and writing poetry. Keep it up! Reply
Alan Steinle January 12, 2024 Gregory, on second thought, you might want to replace “belie” with a different rhyming word since that word is used only in special cases. I’m always trying to improve, too. I will have some new poems published on this website in about a week, and you can critique them if you feel like it. 🙂 Reply
David Whippman January 16, 2024 I found “Without a Dad” very poignant. My father died when I was 10. I’ve no doubt that it radically altered the whole course of my life. 64 years later, I am grateful for the life I’ve had, and count my blessings (and they are many, including a stepfather who was a good, decent man.) But there will always be that unanswerable, inevitable (though maybe futile) “what if?” Your poem asked that question anew, in an effective way. Reply