.

Textual Harassment

Now listen, Sunshine, I don’t mean to carp,
But I’m the agent, pal. You’re just the writer.
You’re smart, but “smart” means bupkis. Make a sharp
Turn leftward, be a social justice fighter.
Wise up! Start speaking woke or else don’t look
At me to help you publish. Time to drink
The Kool-Aid if you want to sell a book!
You can’t ignore the herd—they’ll think you stink.

The first thing, Sweetheart: stop this red-state writing.
Conservative ideas should all be stored
In moth balls. Go for something more exciting
That wouldn’t leave a Neflix V.P. bored!
Be more diverse. Your words are white and bleak.
You’ve lost the zeitgeist of this generation.
Do you have kids? Alright then, let me speak
In terms of fairytales. Now take dictation.

You can’t say “Mother Goose,” it’s “Parent Goose.”
There’s no more “Brothers Grimm,” it’s “Siblings Grimm.”
Don’t mention white supremacists like Seuss.
Revamp your pronouns. Sidestep “her” or “him.”
“Snow White” sounds privileged. Just call her “Snow.”
And give her seven boyfriends if she wants.
That’s why those dwarves she lives with sing “Heigh Ho”
And why that uptight prince deserves our taunts.

Or take that little snot Red Riding Hood:
She’s not the good guy. Cut the wolf some slack.
The kid had trespassed; Wolfie needed food.
It’s only right she end up as a snack.
I think the worst might still be Goldilocks.
Brown bears; white girl; can’t you hear justice shatter?
She vandalized their home; she broke the locks,
Then fled the law like ursine lives don’t matter.

You getting this? Are you back on the rails?
Those three blind mice faced rank discrimination;
The farmer’s spouse was wrong to cut their tails
And so she owes them beaucoup compensation.
And then there’s Hansel and his sibling Gretl:
They ain’t no victims. They’re the ones at fault
For burning that poor witch. They either settle,
Or dump those twits in prison for assault.

You got it, Sunshine? Everything you think
You know is simply racist, sexist crap.
The only color you should paint is pink.
The only lyrics you should quote are rap.
You do these things, bud, watch your work get prized!
Just heed these simple guidelines and you’ll score!
But if you diss the Left don’t be surprised
When you receive a bomb threat at your door.

.

.

Whatever Shall We Name It? 

Our precious little “it” or “zem” or “they”
Who’s made your belly swell like a balloon!
Our they/zem kicks, and with such footsie-play
Announces it will surely be here soon.

The random little bits or fleshy parts
Between its legs will never cause us care.
They’re trivial, like freckles, moles or warts;
As changeable as piercings, tats or hair!

Its body must not be its destiny!
And what a wokey social-justice joy
That mini-we won’t face the tyranny
Of hearing “it’s a girl!” or “atta boy!”

And never has a parent’s fluttering heart
Been quite so lion-strong or llama-tender
As ours as we see mini-we’s life start
Divorced from the brutality of gender!

We’ll let zem be zemself, we’ll give it space!
No crushing rules, no punishments to shame it.
Its only marker shall be “human race.”
O, Comrade Spouse, whatever shall we name it?

.

.

Brian Yapko is a retired lawyer whose poetry has appeared in over fifty journals.  He is the winner of the 2023 SCP International Poetry Competition. Brian is also the author of several short stories, the science fiction novel El Nuevo Mundo and the gothic archaeological novel  Bleeding Stone.  He lives in Wimauma, Florida.

NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets.

The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary.


Trending now:

54 Responses

  1. Cynthia Erlandson

    Both hilarious satires, Brian! I especially love the very imaginative rewrites you’ve done of the fairy tales. You did slip up a bit on the penultimate line of the second poem, though, by using “human”, which has “man” in it…. so your editor-character would most certainly catch that.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much, Cynthia! You’re keen editorial eye on behalf of my venal literary agent has zeroed in on a weakness in impoverished woke voabulary! They need a new word for “human.” I’m thinking “huthem” or “huperson.” Or, perhaps, in their specific case, “moron.”

      Reply
  2. Margaret Coats

    Pair apropos, Brian! The agent does just enough hair-assing to earn his pay in a suitably offensive way. I notice that the accent falls menacingly on “you” the author in some lines. We’ve already heard plenty of “designer” names trying to non-gender a baby, plus the use of enough surnames for girls that “Madison” and “Taylor” are recognized as feminine. What a challenge for woke parents! Gone is the good sense of the old song, “A Boy Named Sue,” in which the singer, Sue, who has learned to deal courageously with his name, still ultimately decides to name his own son anything but! A newer strategy is to give one obviously feminine name plus one obviously masculine name, such that the child can change from its first name to its middle name (and maybe back again) as it grows up confused. I recall a priest instructing parents in a baptism class about the requirement to choose a saint’s name. “What if you already named it “Butch Rambo”? Add a name! Butch Rambo Clement!” By the way, this is an amusing post to introduce your own expanded bio.

    Reply
    • Margaret Coats

      And–not referring to yourself–I forgot to chuckle at the Yiddish bupkis black bean goat pellets, with the more polite significance of “nonsense.”

      Reply
      • Brian A. Yapko

        I’ve been waiting 3 years to fit the word “bupkis” nto a classical poem! There are a number of Yiddish words that are deliciously obnoxious and perhaps I should write a poetic lexicon about them. My father was from Brooklyn. And I was raised in L.A. surrounded by the entertainment industry. Peppering language with Yiddish was de rigueur. Thanks for the chuckle, Margaret!

    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you very much, Margaret! I love your thoughts regarding “A Boy Named Sue” and the latest trend of assigning a boy’s name and a girl’s name — just in case. It sounds to me like a recipe for creating the very insanity it seeks to lessen. Why not just buy a child a full male wardrobe along with a full female wardrobe, make an appointment with the pediatrician for gender exploration and create two birth certificates depending on whatever mini-we comes up with when “it” turns 5? The Gender Games are in full session.

      Reply
  3. James Sale

    Textual Harassment is wonderful, Brian – such a depressing reality, although of course we are not depressed: au contraire, all this absurdity gives our Muse the chance to sing!!! Keep singing.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much, James! That’s a wonderfully positive spin on depressing events. How we react is vitally important. I will therefore follow your advice and keep singing. I hope you keep singing too!

      Reply
      • James Sale

        Of course Brian – my next missive from Heaven (aka DoorWay aka Paradiso) is due to be published on the SCP about mid-March, so keep your eye open for it!

  4. Russel Winick

    Two more big hits, Brian. My favorite line was “The only lyrics you should quote are rap.” On road trips to basketball tournaments a dozen years ago, I could hardly believe the rap lyrics that my youngest son’s teammates were listening to. Awful! Keep the truth telling coming!

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you, Russel. Interesting and sad story which does not surprise me. And with respect and appreciation for your own powers of observation, I will say the same back to you — keep the truth telling coming!

      Reply
  5. Roy Eugene Peterson

    If not for the seriousness and earnestness of the subject matter, I would be laughing at your great takes including the fairy tales; however, your satire is marvelously conceived and creative while not only lampooning the sad state of trying to get a book or poetry to be published these days, but perfectly harpooning the clueless woke with deft and articulate verse. There is so much to unpack and consider in your magnificent poetry that will transcend this temporary madness! How can I tell you write with inspiration and conviction? It inspires and convicts me!

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Sometimes a good laugh (at the lunatics’ expense) is just what we need, Roy! Thank you for this wonderful comment. I am so glad that my work inspires and convicts you. Let me tell you that yours does the same for me.

      Reply
  6. Phil S. Rogers

    Satire, but so true in so many cases it is infuriating. Shows the need for alternative, conservative businesses of all kinds, and the need to bring common sense back into our lives.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much, Phil! Yes, this is satire but without, I submit, any exaggeration whatsoever. The spotlight shows what it shows. “Parent Goose”? “Siblings Grimm?” Isn’t that actually the logical result of the woke movement to degender our language? I like your idea of alternative, conservative businesses. We need them.

      Reply
  7. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Brian, these two poems (excellent on many levels) are a prime example of satire at its finest. The poems are entertaining in their humorous take. Both poems had me laughing out loud (ursine lives matter LOL) at the outrageous images portrayed… but then (and here is where the effectiveness of these superbly written works kicks in) the horror that follows the laughter lets me know that this is no joke. And you do a superb job of getting the serious message, simmering beneath the hilarity, across.

    The title and tone of each poem is perfect… and the first-person narrator in each is the glaring epitome of today’s pushers of perversity and abuse. The closing couplet of “Textual Harassment” is where we’re at now… the punishment for not going along with this insidious idiocy is violence and incarceration. And only those who are finger-pointing at the non-Woke are laughing at that… not for long though… History says so.

    “Whatever Shall We Name It?” gives me chills. It all starts with preferred pronouns, moves on to lists, then the hormone-blocking neutering, and finally, the scalpel because these babies’ “brains don’t match their genitals” according to those who trust the settled science of today’s insane world.

    Just as the Babylon Bee sounds saner than the MSM these days, satire is beginning to sound like our nightly news… which I’ve turned off. Your wonderful poetry brings the atrocities of our society to my attention with panache and a perspicacious eye. Brian, thank you very much indeed!

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much for this appreciative and insightful comment, Susan. You know exactly what I’m trying to say and — more importantly — why! The satire here is scarcely satire because none of the things I’ve listed in Textual Harassment is actually off the table. Parent Goose, the white suprecmacy of Seuss, the white privilege insensitivity of Goldilocks, the legal liability of Hansel and Gretl, and the bomb threats. I just had to think things through to their logical conculsions rather than exaggerate and mock. I brought a lot of my exposure to the L.A. entertainment industry into this poem. The only difference is creating a literary agent rather than a theatrical one. Not much difference that I can see.

      I’m especially pleased by your reaction to Whatever Shall We Name It? I laughed when writing this, and Jerry and I have taken to calling each other “Comrade Spouse” when squabbling, but at its heart it’s a cold study of a type of parent who should not be parenting at all. Their baby is more social engineering/science experiment guinea pig than a respected member of the human race. You get to the heart of the actual abuse inherent in this type of ideology. It purports to be respectful of humanity but it is in fact contemptuous of reality and ultimately dehumanizing.

      Reply
  8. Norma Pain

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading these two poems Brian. Is it possible to laugh and cry at the same time! Your messages come through loud and clear, if only certain people would open their ears and change from woke to awake.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Yes, Norma, sometimes we must laugh and cry at the same time! Thank you so much for this generous comment. I love what you say about changing from woke to awake!

      Reply
  9. Adam Wasem

    This is too real to be satire, Brian, especially when you know for a fact that every “agent” under 45 is assuredly thinking exactly this way, even if they’re not saying it aloud. And the few who don’t don’t dare speak up. Ditto on “Whatever Shall We Name It?” You chuckle with a lump in your throat because you can’t help but think of what the poor children of these people will suffer; The pronouns, the sexual confusion, the crippling psychological problems, the more and more likely eventual genital mutilation, the horrific odds of suicide. And the only message the establishment can manage in response to our cultural suicide is: “Orange Man Bad! Orange Man Must Be Destroyed!”

    One small point: I feel like the actual brand’s spelling of “Kool-Aid” would be funnier. The agent may mangle and upend every central tenet of Western Civilization in his diatribe, but he gets the brand names right every time.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you very much indeed, Adam! It’s so true about agents under 45. Although in my experience some of the worst woke people are older, wealthy and spoiled with so much time on their hands that they spend ridiculous amounts of time contemplating what they can do to heal the world. Thankfully, I see this less in Florida than in other places that I’ve lived.

      You’re right to feel sorry for “mini-we” the baby that’s going to be born soon in Whatever Shall We Name It? His or her parents are not fit to raise a child. That poor child will be severely messed up and all in the name of ideology (not idealism.)

      Thank you very much for the cool-aid/Kool-Aid correction. You were absolutely right and, as you can see, I took your suggestion right away.

      Reply
  10. Joseph S. Salemi

    Holy smoke, these are GOOD!

    Juvenal said in his day that things were so bad it was hard not to write satire. But today things have gotten so insane that satire immediately jumps right off the page! This is top-notch work, verbally and metrically and artistically perfect.

    The tone of voice of the “agent” is precisely what we could expect: vulgar, arrogant, smug, self-satisfied, venal, and brainlessly liberal. The voice of the stupid parents drips with treacly baby-talk and Gen Z-Millennial ideology. Getting the proper voice in a dramatic monologue is hard to manage — but Yapko has fully mastered the practice.

    Anyone who says that the SCP isn’t publishing stellar poems is a lying prick.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Joe, I’m so pleased to get this generous comment from you! Thank you! I believe that dramatic monologues offer an exceptional vehicle for satire because we can than skewer not just what we observe but the very thought-process that goes into some ridiculous decisions and situations. I must say that I do enjoy getting into character’s heads (though some, like Greta Thunberg and Elagabalus have caused me acid indigestion.) I’m very grateful for your opinion that I’ve mastered the process.

      And amen to your comment about SCP. In my humble view we have some of the greatest poets of this troubled age on this site! History will judge if we are right.

      Reply
  11. Paul A. Freeman

    I felt the satire in Textural Harassment was excellent. I’ve done a few takes on various nursery rhymes, both poetry and prose. Interestingly, the original tales the Brothers Grimm collected together (1812 and 1815) were much censored in later editions – Rapunzel getting impregnated by her ‘prince’ for instance, got changed.

    The final paragraph of Textual Harassment moved away from satire into an angry tirade which I felt detracted from the overall satirical effect. It’s been said here before that political poems do not tend to endure, but true satire does.

    With Whatever Shall We Name It?, although I feel the problems of gender identity you’ve cited are valid, I’m not sure how prevalent they really are, or whether a few loud mouths and a few high-lighted cases have grabbed the limelight. I’ve noticed on blooper shows, you still have plenty of gender reveal party mess ups, for instance where the balloon containing the reveal flies off without being burst, or the father stomps off because the confetti is pink.

    Anyhow, as I await the barrage, I thank you for raising a smile and giving me pause, Brian. Some of those fairy tale scenarios would make excellent short stories.

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      Paul, when you move from a puritanical theocracy dominated by CIA-controlled world news feeds… yes, including Al Jazeera, and move to the USA, and see the trannies reading to your children at the local library, and see the first and second grade gender surveys handed to your children, and see the reports of children removed from their parents… until you stop depending on google and all other captured search engines… please… please do not suggest that an entire nation is suffering delusions about what is happening in plain sight.

      Reply
      • Paul A. Freeman

        ‘CIA-controlled world feeds.’ Do you know how that sounds in the real world, as I check in with RT because I’m not afraid? Maybe I should check in with the all-knowing oracle, Alex Jones.

        Meanwhile I’ve written a short satirical piece of prose inspired by Brian’s mention of Snow White.

        Now on to France 24.

      • Mike Bryant

        Paul, RT has reported on the CIA’s Operation Mockingbird. I guess RT is full of conspiracy theorists too.

      • Brian A. Yapko

        Thank you, Mike, for adding important information into the conversation. I’m not sure someone from the outside can really see what it’s like here in the U.S. and how viciously insane it has become concerning parental rights, the PROMOTION of claims of transgenderism in young children and the threatening bullying and vicious attacks on those who don’t simply buckle to the pressure of this insanity. It feels absolutely like a concerted attack. It is frigging bizarre.

    • Joseph S. Salemi

      No barrage, Paul. Just a simple question pertaining to aesthetics.

      Why is the last stanza of that poem any less “satiric” than the rest of the piece? Satire is the poetry of attack and ridicule. It points out stupidity and depicts it, making it look like the sick thing that it is. The last stanza of Yapko’s poem is no less effective and piercing, in the normal manner of this genre.

      Is your objection really to the fact that the last stanza is a very PRECISE and EXACT replication of how left-liberals think, and how they threaten their opponents? In other words, are the aesthetics of the last stanza a bit too close to the bone for you?

      Reply
      • Paul A. Freeman

        Pure satire endures. Dress it up with politics and you give it a shelf life that sooner or later expires.

      • Joseph S. Salemi

        So the first five stanzas of Yapko’s poem are satirical, while the sixth stanza is “political.”

        Paul, I don’t think you know very much about either satire or politics.

      • Brian A. Yapko

        Thank you very much for your support and explanation concerning that last stanza which I consider part and parcel of the whole which, in fact, leads up to it as the vicious conclusion to various ominous observations which focus on the language of gender, BLM, CRT, and other issues that the DEI gestapo dictates as official policy and if you dare think otherwise you’re a racist, sexist schmuck. Metaphorically, my speaker leads the reader to the top of the mountain. In that last stanza, we get to enjoy the putrescent view.

    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you, Paul! I’m glad you found my work funny. I understand feeling like it gets awfully real in the last stanza, but that was where the rest of it was leading up to. If you know Twilight Zone, that was my “It’s a cookbook!” moment. Plus I felt it was true to the character who is vaguely threatening throughout but finally makes it explicit.

      Oh the transgender overreach. No, where you live you probably don’t have the level of demand to alter almost all aspects of society to accomodate people who I believe are largely misdiagnosed and by nature transgressive. We are being sued when we don’t use the right pronouns. We are being cancelled when we question any aspect of their right to control all of society. I invite you to come to the U.S. for one week and I think it would be eye-opening to see the change that has occurred here just in the last 5 years. It’s bizarre and socially/emotionally damaging to a great many people including those of us who simply want to carry on life with some level of normalcy. I resent kindergartners being asked for their gender identity when they get into school at the ripe age of 6. Or parents being arrested because they call their 13-year old son a boy rather than a girl. Parental rights have been effectively nullified in California and many other states. How can this lead to anything but mass psychosis?

      On the lighter side, glad my fairytale scenarios entertained you and inspired you to flights of fiction!

      Reply
  12. Michael Vanyukov

    Brian! How dare you attack the current Truth without the Politburo’s permission, thought criminal! And with superb poetry at that! Some citizens ended up as unpersons in memory holes for less. Next thing you’ll criticize Islam and approve of Israel, Allah forfend!

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      I’m rolling on the floor laughing with this one, Michael! Thank you very much for the appreciative (and sardonic) comment. How dare I indeed! Well, I do what my conscience dictates and then God (not Allah) decides the rest. I’m going to go write a poem about Israel now. An approving one at that!

      Reply
  13. Joshua C. Frank

    Both of these are a great articulation of what a lot of people these days already think!

    I know they’re listed as satire, but sadly, satire these days is too close to reality to be as funny as it used to be. I can’t even tell the satirical headlines like those in the Babylon Bee from the real ones anymore.

    Already, “What gender would you like the doctor to assign your baby?” is a question mothers are starting to get asked in the delivery room, and ultrasound technicians already say things like, “The fetus presents with stereotypical male genitals, which has absolutely no connection to its actual gender, which you will discover many years from now.”

    Modern culture, by its very nature, is designed to be a direct inversion of all that is good, holy, and true. That’s why I’m not going to dignify any of Paul’s comments on the matter with a response. The left doesn’t believe in anything except destruction of what we hold dear, and so arguing with them from first principles is futile. They don’t have a Mars Hill, or an unknown god, or scriptures to search; those few who do, become Christians, as I did.

    Fortunately, our writing isn’t for them; it’s for well-meaning Christians who’ve been bullied and gaslighted into accepting various leftist ideas.

    Reply
    • Joseph S. Salemi

      This site also has many non-Christian members and visitors who are just as anti-leftist and anti-woke as we are. Let’s not turn the SCP into “Piety Corner.”

      Reply
      • Joshua C. Frank

        Sorry, I should have been more clear. When I said “our,” I was specifically referring to me and Brian.

      • Brian A. Yapko

        Quite right, Joe, as I’ve indicated to Josh above. I’ve known many anti-woke/anti-leftists who are not Christian — some are atheists, some Jewish, some Buddhist, some “spiritual but not religious,” and other things. Ours is actually a rather large tent.

      • Joshua C. Frank

        True. Until I found the SCP, I didn’t even know such people existed.

    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much, Josh! Is that true? Mother’s are being asked what gender they would like assigned to the baby? My God, it gets worse by the day. And you are right — modern culture is a direct inversion (a rebuke, actually) of everything that is normal and normative. One doesn’t have to be a Christian to recognize the insanity that surrounds us. At this point I’ve met quite a few right of center atheists who also believe things have gone way too far. But I personally, like you, believe in God and believe that without God as a common frame of reference, anything and everything becomes possible. Even cannibalism as Susan describes in her poem from yesterday evening. When God is banished, so is the concept of the soul, so is the concept of objective morality. Love means nothing and so does life. It’s a dystopian, mechanistic and material way of looking at the world which cannot lead to anything except every man worshiping himself, his own needs, his own pleasures. I don’t want to live in such a world.

      “Gaslighted.” You’ve hit the nail on the head.

      Reply
      • Joshua C. Frank

        Yes, Dostoyevsky was absolutely right when he said, “Without God, anything is permissible.” I don’t want to live in such a world either, yet here we are, and like the Borg, they won’t stop until everyone is assimilated or killed. More and more, I believe that I, or at least my future children, will live to see the world hit rock bottom and Jesus come again (I’m 40).

        I read about that particular bit about parents assigning gender to their newborn babies in the book Domestic Extremist by Peachy Keenan. Given modern culture’s belief that boys are defective girls, we can expect to see a lot of male-to-female transsexual babies soon.

  14. Brian A. Yapko

    This poem which concerns the corruption and crass wokeitude of the publishing industry inspires me to express deep appreciation for the Society of Classical Poets — an utterly unique website. The venal agent of “Textual Harassment” is the exact opposite of the SCP’s leadership. I would therefore like to take a moment to express gratitude and admiration for Evan Mantyk who is unique in this cynical business for being unfailingly insightful, brave and fair-minded in his publication and editorial decisions. The Yiddish word which comes to mind is “mensch.”

    Reply
  15. Daniel Kemper

    Late, late, late. Sum of my reaction. Ditto Margaret, ditto Joe.

    Tight construction. Tight! Love it. I’m curious about the construction: Did the words fly to fingers? Was there a struggle?

    One hilarious little bonus for me was this line: “We’ll let zem be zemself, we’ll give it space!” By the time I got to the end of it, I was saying, “zpace.”

    Look, my perspective on the whole mess in impacted by time in the Infantry where you called people what you wanted and were called whatever they wanted to call you.

    But the brainwash, the separation of parents from kids, the damage is real and widespread. My son actually encountered a question on a standardized test: True (as in always true) or False (as in can be untrue even once): 2 + 2 = 4. And the “correct’ answer was False. Not urban legend. Can’t get more Orwellian.

    I know and am friends with people all over the spectrum — but not with any activists that I’m aware of. It’s the orgs that are evil. Generally, after some time around each other, we agree to disagree and just get along.

    I get how some people felt during The Civil War. (Plus, my 6x great uncle was Gen. James L. Kemper) There’s no way *everyone* on the liberal-conservative continuum will be on the same side as me if it comes down to it. Just as brother fought against brother… Grim times might be ahead.

    Sorry to get drifty, and schpiel-y.

    Fine work. Looking for more.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much, Daniel! To answer your question about construction, “Whatever Shall We Name It?” did indeed practically write itself. I started with the title and worked backwards. “Textual Harassment” took more planning and detail work because I wanted to do the agent but I didn’t know I wanted to do the fairytales until I was well into the writing of it. But once I recognized “Parent Goose” and “Siblings Grimm” it became much easier. Then it was just deciding which fairytales and nursery rhymes were susceptible to being “wokeified.” My favorite bit of serendipity was Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. “White” was asking for it and then the song “Heigh Ho” gave me an opportunity to be particularly tacky.

      Thank you for the insights on brainwashing and the Orwellian description of how 2 plus 2 does not equal 4. This is actually terrifying. Grim times (not Grimm) are indeed ahead and your reference to the Civil War is particularly apt. I don’t see how this country can escape it at this point. The battlelines are being drawn even as we speak. And “schpiel-y” is just fine with me!

      Thanks again for sharing your experience and thoughts!

      Reply
  16. Lannie David Brockstein

    Brian Yapko wrote:
    >>> “… Time to drink
    The Kool-Aid if you want to sell a book!”

    Flavor-Aid, which was a product like Kool-Aid (the same way that Pepsi is like Coca-Cola), was actually what was used in the Jonestown Massacre, and where “Kool-Aid” as you used it is derived from. But nowadays if “Flavor-Aid” is said in that manner, hardly anybody will understand the reference.

    ~~~~~

    Brian Yapko wrote:
    >>>”…whatever shall we name it?”

    In dreaming cultures, it is not unusual for the parents of an unborn baby to remember having been visited in a dream by their baby before it is born, whereby their baby teaches them what its name is.

    But regarding the delusional parents in your “Whatever Shall We Name It? ” who could care less about the spirit world, I suppose they might name their baby “8,093,985,051”, or whichever number is next on the clock at the Current World Population website: https://www.worldometers.info/world-population/

    Then again, in letting their baby to supposedly choose its gender, those morally broke Woke folk will probably also let their baby to supposedly choose its name, in which case its name might be what is typically a baby’s first universal sound/word, such as “Neh”, “Owh”, or “Heh”, or a baby’s first English word, such as “Mom”, “Dad”, or “Dog”.

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Lannie, thank you so much for your evocative comment. I did not know that about Kool-Aid nor have I heard of “dreaming cultures.” I love the idea of an unborn baby “teaching” his/her parents his/her name in a dream.

      The delusional parents, sadly, don’t strike me as all that out of synch with the social climate of the day. It would be interesting for them to select a number rather than a name. That would make the dehumanizing of their child complete.

      Along with selecting its own name, maybe they should let the baby select what language it would like to learn from a long list. English, after all, is such a brutal colonizer language.

      Reply
      • Lannie David Brockstein

        On February 29th, 2024, Brian A. Yapko wrote:
        >>> “Along with selecting its own name, maybe they should let the baby select what language it would like to learn from a long list. English, after all, is such a brutal colonizer language.”

        Brian, surely that long list of languages would include foreign languages that died centuries ago!

        After all, what woke parents will refute there is any language more powerless and discriminated against than a dead foreign language?—especially if it consists of words that are exceedingly difficult for most native English speakers to pronounce, and that only an artificially intelligent app understands?

        There is probably only one choice that woke parents will not allow their children to choose: new parents.

        Dreaming cultures are the opposite of woke cultures.

  17. Patricia Allred

    My dear Brian, I love your fearless imagination and combinations of fairy tales and poetry from a childhood story turned into anti-woke themes,! You wove, them together, into anti-woke themes! Brian…you are such a talent, my friend! I nearly fell off the couch howling with laughter.! Pass some of your poetic couage to me, please? I adore good comedy, but rarely find it in poetry. Superb poem, my fellow
    Poet! Cheers, Patricia

    Reply
    • Brian A. Yapko

      Thank you so much, Patricia! Your generous comment has me smiling and contemplating more anti-woke poetry! And know that I’m sending you courageous thoughts! Cheers to you as well!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.