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The Lazarus Effect

Until you’re raised, you’ve no idea how dead
You were, how long you’d been beyond the scope
Of human give and take; how poorly read
You were in all the texts of simple hope.
And yet somehow you bravely scuffled on,
Your faith by grace just blind enough to grope
Its way through life’s untidy marathon.

Then of a sudden you’re alive again:
Some blindness, dull and leaden, has been cleared;
Some strange paralysis you knew not when
Nor how you had contracted—disappeared!
It seems you’ve prayed for this your whole life long
And so you had, but now that it’s appeared,
You see you’d got the miracle all wrong.

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Jeffrey Essmann is an essayist and poet living in New York. His poetry has appeared in numerous magazines and literary journals, among them Agape Review, America Magazine, Dappled Things, the St. Austin Review, U.S. Catholic, Grand Little Things, Heart of Flesh Literary Journal, and various venues of the Benedictine monastery with which he is an oblate. He is editor of the Catholic Poetry Room page on the Integrated Catholic Life website.


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10 Responses

  1. Gigi Ryan

    Dear Jeffrey,
    I love this – especially, “Your faith by grace just blind enough to grope, its way through life’s untidy marathon.”
    The speaker is vulnerable and realistic with these vivid descriptions.
    Gigi

    Reply
  2. Julian D. Woodruff

    Beautifully put, Jeffrey. We wander on, some more hopeful than others, some more blindly. Though we may study it, we don’t even really know what sleep is like really, much less the sleep of death. As for life beyond, what we make of words like “we shall see Him as He is” is as varied as the minds and ears that have received that message. And now even the pope expresses doubt that anyone experiences anything like hell. I think there may now be more existential uncertainty than ever before

    Reply
  3. Shamik Banerjee

    Very true. To be alive again is to be taken into a new inner dimension that’s separate from everything human, be it lukewarmness, woe, jealousy, etc. The physical body stays here amidst the “untidy” marathon of life, but the inside is peaceful and not affected by what is outside, fixated on God. Thank you, Mr. Essmann. Reading your work is a gift.

    Reply
  4. Wayne

    Amen. Someone wrote; you are going to live forever, the question is where?

    Reply
  5. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    I can feel the joy beaming from this poem and warming my heart with a message of hope. I may have the message wrong, but it speaks to me personally. It isn’t necessary to die a physical death to experience the glory of being brought back to life… a miracle indeed. Jeffrey, thank you.

    Reply
  6. Jeffrey Essmann

    You have the message exactly right, Susan, as do all of you who have so kindly commented on this poem. It’s all about the delirious surprise of hope–and the double-edge of miracle. As personal recent events have pointed out to me most marvelously, there’s the miracle you ask for and, once it’s granted, there’s the miracle you didn’t expect, never anticipated, possibly couldn’t even have articulated. Both have their joys, both have their hope–and both an extraordinary intoxication.

    Warmest thanks to you all of you,

    Jeffrey

    Reply
  7. Jeremiah Johnson

    “how poorly read
    You were in all the texts of simple hope.” – Great line! And isn’t that how the life of a child of God is? The revelations that come in at points and throw what we thought we knew, certainly not to the rubbish heap, but into a new light?

    On another note, I often find your writing spiritually rewarding, but, aesthetically, I think this poem works particularly well. There’s a wonderfully natural flow to it.

    Reply
  8. Dan Pugh

    when I was in college a professor of English gave us the following definition: “Prose is literature meant to be read. Drama is literature meant to be performed. Poetry is literature meant to be memorized. So if you are smitten by a poem, be sure to memorize it. That way it will be there for you right when you need it.”
    It seems to me that he was inadvertently drawing a distinction between poetry and other verse. If this be true, then poetry is rare compared to verse as a whole.
    I have been following and enjoying this website for well over a year, mostly for the wit, the eloquence, and the insights. But I am struck by the fact that – to me – “The Lazarus Effect” is a true poem. It may even prove to be literature. Thank you.

    Reply

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