.

.

If You Want to Get Someone’s Attention

If you want to get someone’s attention, then whisper
or commit a mistake that continues the moment
for a little bit longer—a smudge on the glister
is the proof that the moment was golden; you know,
__if you want to get someone’s attention…

be resourceful, and stumble beside him or just,
with a toss of your ringlets, dissemble and mention
that his chest has a spot that you just have to dust.
____If you want to get some-one,

and potentially keep him, then straighten your top,
and securing a button that’s never undone,
entertain him a moment or two, and then stop.
______If you want

to be thorough then only engage with a gest-
ure that’s never complete, and is destined to haunt
him if ever he’d force his attention to rest.
________If—

__if you want to get someone’s attention

.

.

Craving Exotic Poetic Delights

Craving exotic poetic delights with delectable
fancies, I whisk a tahini of dactyls to savory
frangipane crafting my take on a very respectable
almond-iambic tradition. The metrical bravery
loses itself in a vision of honey, hibiscus and
apples which furnish the finishing glaze. The frivolity
fades to a trance as I cook it all down to a viscous and
syrupy, fruity and tart Abyssinian quality.
Lusciously steaming, the apples, the custardy core, and the 
buttery crust all emerge as a sweet occupational
hazard: too hot for a taste and too good to ignore and the
question is, how could a modern galette be sensational?
Drizzle the couplet across the adapted vernacular;
finish it aurally, orally fresh and spectacular.

.

.

Bagatelle: Beyond the Chimes

“And I besought The Lord thrice that [the wound] might depart
from me.” —Corinthians 12:8

___I hear the chimes tonight:
__the sound is not some tolling spire,
_but gentle ringing at the edge of sight,
precursing storms, affirming as the hours retire,
____the wind is right.

___I hear the groan for light:
__metallic notes like tickled leaves
_chaotically, brokenly recondite
yet present, too. The path through which the zephyr weaves
____ahead, is right.

___The chimes in gloom alight
__on ears as feet on leaves, then stall.
_Some traveler whistles ancient hymns; the might
of music kissing darkness still consoles, “Paul, Paul.
____The wound is right.”

___Tonight, the sounds invite
__me where I do not want to go—
_beyond the lovely chimes, which never quite
achieve a musicality, but clinking, show
____beyond is right.

___I hear the chimes tonight.

.

.

Daniel Kemper is a former tournament-winning wrestler, a black belt in traditional Shotokan karate and a former infantryman. He has a BA in English, an MCSE (Systems Engineering), and an MBA.  He quit a 25-year IT career in 2023 and went all-in on poetry. Since then, he’s had works accepted for publication at The Blue Unicorn, The Lyric, thehypertexts.com, The Creativity Webzine, Amethyst Review, Rat’s Ass Review, Formalverse, The Literary Hatchet, the Society for Classical Poets, and Ekphrastic Review. He was an invited presenter at the 2023 national PAMLA conference and will preside over the Poetics Panel at PAMLA 2024. He was nominated for a Pushcart Prize by The Blue Unicorn and has been the featured poet at the historic Luna’s Cafe and the Sacramento Poetry Center. 

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13 Responses

  1. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Daniel, these are cleverly creative, astonishingly “delectable,” and eruditely worded. The unique rhyme scheme and the audacious metric changes, especially in the last poem are something to behold. I completely understand now your poetic successes as exhibited in your biography. There are too many amazing words used in your poems to even begin to quote them here.

    Reply
    • Daniel Kemper

      Howdy Roy~

      Thank you very much indeed, for such kind words. The first is somewhat of a validation of the maxim to never throw anything out to quickly. It’s origin was a failed experiment in syncopation. I was trying to use what worked out to be something of a dwindling refrain mid stanza (sort of) as a way to change where the stresses would play in the line.

      Cheesily, and I think this might have been noticed but politely not mentioned, the refrain comes from an old TV commercial for perfume.

      But say what you will about jingle-writers, they have an unparalleled ability to create a line you’ll remember. So it was an occasion for some play as well. Like L2’s off-rhyme with L4– the extra half foot is mentioned in the form of continuing the mo-ment a bit longer… (to get draw attention to itself. Likewise, the “smudge” is the off-rhyme of glister with whisper. I could have chosen something like, “Choosing a rhyme that is crisper” or something had I wanted to stay in perfect meter and rhyme. And, at a minimum, I could have hypenated “mo-ment” and dropped the “for” in the following line. Those who know my stuff well, know that if it’s not perfect, then I’m f’ing around with something. Similar, but less well-executed, is the extra syllable in S2L2, which doesn’t quite make the reader stumble enough. There’s other intertextual play, but I’ve belabored it enough.

      Thank you again for your highly detailed praise.

      Reply
  2. Joseph S. Salemi

    I like the second poem best, because it extends the metaphor of a poem as a savory baked confection through the entire sonnet’s length. And the wide choice of rare words about foodstuffs intensifies the metaphor.

    One typo: in line 7, the word should be “viscous.”

    Reply
  3. Cynthia Erlandson

    These are really impressive! I especially love “Bagatelle: Beyond the Chimes”, probably in part because of my love for bells and chimes, but also for its fascinating form. Building one more meter into each of lines 2-4, and then finishing with a two-meter line, has a great effect. I agree with Joseph about the extended metaphor in the sonnet, and love the rhymes in it, especially frivolity/quality. The form of the first poem is also fascinating and seems quite original.

    Reply
    • Daniel Kemper

      Heyo Cynthia!

      Wow–thanks for the enthusiasm and praise. Only my second bagatelle. The genesis of this is a feeling of being called out where I don’t know what’s next. There’s a certain pain in a calling, too. Anyway, it lit into an arpeggio for reasons I cannot now fathom.

      An arpeggio in music (in case you or a reader doesn’t already know), is when you play the notes of a chord one at a time instead of simultaneously. Here, the poetic equivalent is using the first line as a unit, a chord, and breaking it into little parts, playing each one at a time to start each successive stanza. I think that complements the effect you note of the ringing last lines of the stanzas. -?

      Reply
  4. Margaret Coats

    “Beyond the Chimes” is a profound lyric in a satisfying formal shape, designed in a manner that I am sure I have seen before, by regularly varying numbers of feet in the lines. This may bring to your mind, Daniel, a musical arpeggio, but even for those who know what that is, the metaphor is so inexact that it hardly contributes to understanding either form or content of the poem. I don’t fault you for mentioning it in discussion of a work in which sounds are central: it says something about the poet and his procedure. What I do not understand is classifying the piece as a bagatelle. This poem is complete and not trivial. I do remember your previous bagatelle, and you, Daniel, will probably remember I thought it problematic. Neither was it a bagatelle. The word means something light and trivial, but you re-define it as a short substitute for a “symphony” of full development. Now it is quite true you could write much, much more on any subject, but it is also true that poems need not be long to be fully developed and remarkably profound. That’s what you have achieved, I would say, with “Beyond the Chimes.” It is full as bells rung in regular succession compose a musical fullness. It is an excellent meditation on Saint Paul’s mysterious thorn in the flesh.

    Your dactylic galette is more like a bagatelle, because the most elaborate dessert is mere food to finish off a meal. The metaphorical desire for more dactylic treats (and practice in making them) is more serious. This sonnet is certainly well-finished enough to tempt some readers to try it! Splendid triple rhymes that took very careful planning by the chef.

    “If You Want” instructs and delights with great charm. The differing meter and tone of these three poems showcase a confident versatility. I enjoyed them all, but for the moment prefer the light-hearted discourse of the first. Refreshing and encouraging!

    Reply
    • Daniel Kemper

      Hi Margaret,

      I always look forward to your firm and fair, expertly intellectual and emotionally perceptive commentary. I agree: the line length pattern is surely not original (Hardy?) and probably likewise, the “arpeggio,” functioning here as it does like very loosely like a fragmented crown of quatrains.

      Arpeggio is only a 10,000-foot view, sure. I mean only to account for a certain progression, tone and feel. It’s a start. I do hope to refine the practice–and would love your expertise at what might be next steps/challenges to working on the concept with greater precision.

      For that and the present bagatelle, I’m open to suggestions. I knew from the outset of my “symphonic vision,” that I’d make many mistakes. I believe that making more and faster is the only way forward (and of course, correcting them).

      Regarding Bagatelle for Brokenness, I think I recall your commentary very well. The chief error you asserted, at least the one that bugged me the most, was that the poem left room for the brokenness to be considered beautiful in a way that was like finding sin beautiful (rather than when brokenness is synonymous for contrition). You were right and it was right for such a mistake to bug me. So, using it as a first movement, it has since been developed into a full sonata, hopefully correcting that. (Not shared yet.)

      Which of course confesses the error of calling it a bagatelle, right? 🙂 A bagatelle, as-is, couldn’t be a movement.

      Again, I want to say I was overwhelmed and impressed with your fairness and what it showed of your strength of character back then and now. Open for suggestions on classification and titling. (Nonce isn’t really sufficient, IMO.) I intend to re-read all your past comments: study is always good.

      In any case, I’d put “Bagatelle for Brokenness” in the ring with any poem in the canon.

      Coming back round to the Galette, a personal favorite line is the “highly respectable almond-iambic tradition,” because it’s a connection rather than a competition, which for me, with as much training in combat as I have, doesn’t always come naturally. I’m delighted that it was enjoyable. Finally, back to “Beyond the Chimes”–I am humbled by your net evaluation of it. Thank you.

      Reply
    • Daniel Kemper

      Reply #2

      Perhaps “sonatina”?

      It might be a suitable classification for what is atm called, “Bagatelle for Brokenness.” It does have an expo, dev, and recap (arguably and intro, expo, dev, and recap). True, if stanzas || movements, seven is radically many… as is the seven in opus 131. So, radical, but not ruled out. And viewed that way, serves as the first movement of the larger sonata even better.

      “Sonatina for the Stricken”? hmmm…

      Reply
  5. David Whippman

    “If You Want to Get Someone’s Attention” is a fascinating piece, observing in detail the subtleties of body language between the sexes. Nicely written.

    Reply
  6. Daniel Kemper

    Thank you, David. I am quite happy you enjoyed the poem and the observations.

    Reply
  7. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Daniel, your passion for form, meter, and the musicality of language burns brightly in all three of these painstakingly crafted poems. It is obvious to me how much effort you have put into each one and the multi-layered results beg for more than one reading. My favorite is (of course) the sonnet. What an enticing title… and every line lives up to its wonder. Your sumptuous linguistic treats make me hungry to write right now. Each poem intrigues me. Thank you!

    Reply
  8. stevek

    Hey man – is that you? You have come a long long way since “I am the lizard king, I can do anything”. I still don’t know anything about writing and I write. Good to see that one of us has made it happen. I’d give you at least 0.3 Shakespeares (Jimmy just gets about 0.1 or 0.2).

    Find me and drop a line. If you want.

    S. K. still dreaming since beaches on the NC coast.

    Reply

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