ruins of the Temple of Apollo, Turkey (Saffron Blaze)‘Phoebus’: A Poem by L.M. Shearer The Society August 22, 2024 Beauty, Poetry 9 Comments . Phoebus I saw the sun catch in your hair, Your silhouette against the glare. I heard your laughter rise and fall And shatter in the frozen air. The sun sank down behind the trees Yet brighter suns burned in your eyes. You set the darkened woods agleam With secret fires that no one sees. You strung the banners of the dawn, A pink and fiery denouement. I wrapped myself in dried-up leaves And with the silent trees looked on. . . L.M. Shearer is a teacher from the Pacific Northwest. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. CODEC Stories:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 9 Responses Kevin Farnham August 23, 2024 Beautiful! With greater attention to meaning and rhythm than rhyme, but with quality rhyme nonetheless. As poet, the word “that” in line 8 would still keep me wondering: should it be “fires that no one sees” or “fires no one sees”? Which would be best? You can argue both ways. Excellent work! Reply L.M. Shearer August 23, 2024 Thank you, Kevin! What a fun conundrum. I think it depends on whether you say “fires” with one syllable or two. In my west coast accent, “fires” is one syllable, so I need “that” to be the unstressed syllable in the line. But if you had a sort of drawl and said “fi-yars” that would slightly alter the rhythm of the line. The joys of dialect! Reply Paul Erlandson August 23, 2024 I’m late to getting around to reading this, but it’s lovely. I truly enjoyed it! Reply Paul Freeman August 23, 2024 What marvellous imagery. And very exact in it’s form and line lengths. Reply Cynthia Erlandson August 23, 2024 Beautiful, especially in its unified light imagery. Also, I love the laughter shattering in the frozen air — what an intriguing description! Reply jd August 23, 2024 It IS a lovely poem. I love the final line also. Reply Margaret Coats August 23, 2024 Light, sound, motion, warmth, and color feature in this drama of Phoebus. The speaker who experiences it claims to be silent and wrapped in dried up leaves, surely an inadequate covering. Intriguing contrast! Reply Adam Sedia August 24, 2024 A delightful love poem that is interesting in not comparing its object to the sun, but noting the effects of the sunlight on her/him. Rhyming “denouement” with “on” was also a nice touch. Reply Shamik Banerjee August 26, 2024 It was a joy to read your delightful poem, L.M. Thank you for sharing it. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Captcha loading...In order to pass the CAPTCHA please enable JavaScript. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Kevin Farnham August 23, 2024 Beautiful! With greater attention to meaning and rhythm than rhyme, but with quality rhyme nonetheless. As poet, the word “that” in line 8 would still keep me wondering: should it be “fires that no one sees” or “fires no one sees”? Which would be best? You can argue both ways. Excellent work! Reply
L.M. Shearer August 23, 2024 Thank you, Kevin! What a fun conundrum. I think it depends on whether you say “fires” with one syllable or two. In my west coast accent, “fires” is one syllable, so I need “that” to be the unstressed syllable in the line. But if you had a sort of drawl and said “fi-yars” that would slightly alter the rhythm of the line. The joys of dialect! Reply
Paul Erlandson August 23, 2024 I’m late to getting around to reading this, but it’s lovely. I truly enjoyed it! Reply
Paul Freeman August 23, 2024 What marvellous imagery. And very exact in it’s form and line lengths. Reply
Cynthia Erlandson August 23, 2024 Beautiful, especially in its unified light imagery. Also, I love the laughter shattering in the frozen air — what an intriguing description! Reply
Margaret Coats August 23, 2024 Light, sound, motion, warmth, and color feature in this drama of Phoebus. The speaker who experiences it claims to be silent and wrapped in dried up leaves, surely an inadequate covering. Intriguing contrast! Reply
Adam Sedia August 24, 2024 A delightful love poem that is interesting in not comparing its object to the sun, but noting the effects of the sunlight on her/him. Rhyming “denouement” with “on” was also a nice touch. Reply
Shamik Banerjee August 26, 2024 It was a joy to read your delightful poem, L.M. Thank you for sharing it. Reply
