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I Love My Paranoia

I love my paranoia
That no one else can see.
It’s like a loving shadow
Surely protecting me.
Some say it’s a sixth sense,
Or liability.
Some claim I should release it
Because it’d set me free.

But I have learned to question
What people want to do.
I let it on the loose
Until I learn what’s true.
Paranoia whispers
If I should run and hide.
Whatever would I do,
If no voice was inside?

I know when storms are coming,
Some night I may get hit,
But paranoia helps me
To be prepared for it.
Freud said “Paranoids
Are not entirely mistaken.”
Locking and bolting doors
Will help prevent a break-in.

Paranoia tells me
When cons are after me.
My email box is filled
With cons for me to see.
Paranoia brings no
Fear, but trepidation.
It’s not a phobia
That ruins reputation.

My paranoia tells me
“Be ready and react,
Collect the information
Down to the final fact.”
When facts are so distorted
And truth is bent to breaking
My paranoia gives me
The right amount of quaking.

.

.

LTC Roy E. Peterson, US Army Military Intelligence and Russian Foreign Area Officer (Retired) has published more than 6,200 poems in 88 of his 112 books. He has been an Army Attaché in Moscow, Commander of INF Portal Monitoring in Votkinsk, first US Foreign Commercial Officer in Vladivostok, Russia and Regional Manager in the Russian Far East for IBM. He holds a BA, Hardin-Simmons University (Political Science); MA, University of Arizona (Political Science); MA, University of Southern California (Int. Relations) and MBA University of Phoenix. He taught at the University of Arizona, Western New Mexico University, University of Maryland, Travel University and the University of Phoenix.

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26 Responses

  1. Paul Freeman

    That 6th sense and those street antennae are useful cousins of paranoia.

    One of my favourite films was on last night – Ronin. As Robert De Niro says on the subject of paranoia, ‘when there’s doubt, there’s no doubt’.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      Having a sixth sense is vital both personally and in about politicians, among other things. Thank you also for sharing the quote.

      Reply
  2. Warren Bonham

    Anyone who’s been bitten more than once should become more than doubly shy which should bring on a healthy amount of paranoia. For some reason, many people still seem to take what they hear from our elites at face value. We could use a lot more paranoia as you point out in an entertaining way.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      You perfectly pointed out one of the targets of my poem: failure to check on the real problems while accepting what others tell us.

      Reply
  3. Brian A. Yapko

    Paranoia is a rather unique subject for a poem, Roy! You make the most of it: it is observant and fun. You put me in mind of Joseph Heller’s Catch 22: “Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.”

    But all lightness aside, these are desperate, fractious times and they warrant constant vigilance. Your poem is a good reminder of this.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      Thank you, Brian, for understanding that I was serious about paranoia. You are so correct about the need for paranoia in these times of misleading news and social commentary.

      Reply
  4. Russel Winick

    Roy – Your poem reminds me of the old joke: “Just because you’re not paranoid, doesn’t mean that they’re not talking about you!” Probably everyone can relate to this poem in some way. Good work!

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      My paranoia in the military kept me alive! Thank you for the kind comments.

      Reply
  6. Joseph S. Salemi

    A nicely composed poem, but some people might think that it is satirical. This is a problem today with readers who have not been trained in the techniques of irony, sarcasm, and tongue-in-cheek expression.

    Because of the collapse of literary training, many readers accept anything they read as a straightforward expression of facts or opinion. When it is explained to them that this is not always the case, they get angry and start complaining. Many will say “Why doesn’t the writer just express himself honestly?” Some religionists will go on about “Let your yea be yea, and your nay be nay!”

    The reverse also happens sometimes. A writer will compose a straightforward expression (as LTC Peterson has done here) and some readers will read it as a satire on the speaker of the poem.

    The problem really is a general one, where people cannot distinguish between fiction and non-fiction. One solution is that when writing satire, you need to telegraph your punches and hit very hard.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      Dr. Salemi, you always understand me and my intentions. Paranoia (questioning everything and everyone before accepting and trusting the normal senses) was imperative both for my own survival and that of my military units. In fact, as an analyst at DIA, I used five methods of researching opposition military units prior to giving a grade on my analysis in percentages that became the Order of Battle Methodology for DIA and of high value to the MBFR (later MFR) negotiators in Vienna at the time. You are correct about this being serious and not satire. We are living in what I call in military terms a target rich environment of elites, cons, and politicians. Our only defense to the liars and cons is our own sense of being suspicious about what others say until we know for a fact they can be trusted. Even then what anyone else says mut be researched, studied, or considered for the logic of the proposition.

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi

        LTC Peterson, I agree 100% with what you have outlined. In combat situations and in all planning for warfare, trust is simply out of the question. One must ALWAYS be suspicious, double-check everything, have alternate plans for emergencies, depend heavily on G-2, and have scads of redundancy and reserves.

        Unfortunately, this how we have to live now, even in peacetime. Our enemies have declared war on us, want us dead, and will have no compunction about using any tool they can find to win.

        Right now, the Israelis are serving in the point position in this war. They are doing everything correctly, while political idiots in Washington are calling for cease-fires and peace deals and stupid U.N. resolutions. The Israelis realize that the Biden-Harris team have no idea what actual warfare means, and have rightly decided to carry on without them.

        This is why Iran and Hamas are desperately hoping for a Harris victory.

      • Roy Eugene Peterson

        We agree perfectly. The Biden-Harris team with Blinken from Nod should forget trying to broker a deal and attempting to place controls on how far the Israelis can go.

  7. Maria

    A Brilliant and very enjoyable poem. As others have commented a very unusual and interesting subject matter that is somehow on point with the present time. Would I be correct in thinking that paranoia and conspiracy sort of take the same meaning in our present times?
    Interestingly Themistocles may have been paranoid but he ensured that Greece survived and was victorious against the Persians!
    Thank you really enjoyed reading this.

    Reply
    • Mike Bryant

      Roy I love this poem and can really identify with it. My inner watchman has saved me from a few potentially disastrous situations… he has also missed a few clues.

      Maria, thanks for bringing up conspiracy theories!

      I wonder about Hunter Biden’s laptop. When fifty-one top-notch current and former intelligence officials write an open letter to the American people strongly implying that the Biden Laptop was Russian Propaganda, and then every major news outlet prints it right before the election… is that a conspiracy or is it just another conspiracy theory? Is it a conspiracy theory that the CIA actually designed the phrase “conspiracy theorist” to label whistleblowers and hide truths?
      Do any intelligent people still use the phrase in order to shut down discussions?

      Was it a conspiracy when the major media confirmed and reported…
      The Russian collusion hoax?
      That Trump called Nazis “fine people?
      The Jussie Smollett beating and noosing?
      The Bubba Wallace garage pull noose hoax?
      The Governor Whitmer kidnapping plot?
      That Kavanaugh is a rapist?
      That Trump said drinking bleach would fight COVID?
      That Russia bombed their own pipeline?
      That the Trump pee tape was genuine?
      That the COVID lab leak was a conspiracy theory?
      That Border agents whipped migrants?
      That Trump saved nuclear secrets at Mar-a-Lago?
      On the Steele Dossier?
      The Russian bounties on US soldiers in Afghanistan?
      The Muslim travel ban?
      That Andrew Cuomo showed the best COVID leadership?
      That the Ghost of Kyiv was real?
      That Trump built cages for migrant kids?
      That Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, once head of ISIS is an “austere religious scholar”?
      That Trump overfed Koi fish in Japan?
      That Build Back Better will pay for itself?
      That Trump tax cuts benefited only the rich?
      That cloth masks prevent COVID?
      That If you get vaccinated you won’t catch COVID?
      That Trump used teargas to clear a crowd for a bible photo?
      That “Don’t Say Gay” was in a bill?
      On the “Putin price hike”?
      That Ivermectin is a horse dewormer and not for humans?
      That the fiery, bloody riots were mostly peaceful protests?
      That Trump overpowered secret service for the wheel of “The Beast”?
      That Officer Sicknick was murdered by protesters?
      That January 6th was an insurrection?
      That Trump mocked a reporter’s disability?
      That BYU students hurled racist insults at a Duke volleyball player?
      That the rocket that hit Poland was launched by Russia?

      Yes… each of those stories were conspiracies to lie to the American people. Every one of those stories have been debunked, yet when any American questions government lies, they are labeled a “conspiracy theorist.”

      I remember a time when questioning ANY narrative was called journalism. I’ve heard that questioning “accepted truth” was once called science. Now science is all about consensus and so is journalism, I suppose.

      Roy, maybe a few conspiracies are difficult to assess, but every single one of those above, and many, many more should have been trashed by a free press and the common sense of the people.

      Reply
      • Joseph S. Salemi

        Mike, this list is devastating. All of these fake stories were concocted by what we should now call The Inner Enemy — that is, the Deep State, the paid-up whores on retainer in mainstream media, the alphabet agencies like the FBI, CIA, DOJ and others, the lying scum in academia, and all the various NGOs (both foreign and domestic) who want to destroy the West.

        Do we have some “fanatical friendlies” on our side? Yeah, of course. What political side doesn’t have some of them? But in warfare you don’t ask questions about your allies. As long as they are pointing their guns in the same direction that you are, you don’t interrogate them like the Inquisition to find out if they are simon-pure.

        The left never questions its allies in combat. But too many religionists on the right do.

      • Mike Bryant

        Joe, It is amazing to me that every single person does NOT know the simple truth you have just outlined. It seems to me people would get it when the “current thing” laid out by the experts and the mainstream media changes so often… especially when the lies don’t even hold together. By the way you left out the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

        741 former high-ranking national security officials (233 general and flag officers) signed letter endorsing Kamala Harris for president. 15 four-star generals, 10 former cabinet secretaries, 10 service secretaries, and Repub leaders who served under Trump. – Jennifer Griffin

        Nine of the signatories also signed the Hunter Biden Laptop letter.
        Why? Because war pays, that’s why. How else can everyone get their kickbacks?

      • Roy Eugene Peterson

        Mike, what a great list you provided. As Dr. Salemi noted, “devastating!” Thank you for sharing this list, Mike, and your support, Dr. Salemi. My paranoia has often prevented me from misunderstandings of situations and made me search for objective truth. My point is paranoia is a good thing despite the opinions of others, just as conspiracy theories are a good thing, because all too often they are real while some leftist liar is attempting to bury it or laugh it off as such.

  8. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Maria, I am humbled by your wonderful comments. You are on track with paranoia and the proposition of conspiracy theories that often are difficult to assess. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    Reply
  9. Margaret Coats

    That’s a fine final quatrain, Roy. The difference between your logical suspicious paranoia and that of conspiracy theorists is that the conspiratorial types are NOT suspicious of anyone who appears to be fanatically on their own side. Usually the fanatics ARE on their side, but they are all talk and no action. They are dangerous not because they believe in bad things, but because they absorb energy and time and thought and loyalty that could be better spent elsewhere. Therefore I suggest a little logical paranoia applied to collecting information “down to the final fact” about fanatical friendlies, and what they really want.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      Absolutely correct in the differences. I was focused on the idea that conspiracy theories often turn into realities with study, logic, and research.

      Reply
  10. James Sale

    Given that you’ve spent a lifetime in military intelligence, Roy, I found this poem – which from another might seem over-dramatic, slightly unbalanced – very moving. I see that poetry is your ‘charm’ and that the Muse moves in mysterious ways her wonders to perform. Thanks.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      Bless you, James, and thank you for your understanding why I wrote this one the way I did.

      Reply
  11. C.B. Anderson

    But have you considered narapoia, Roy? It’s the irrational belief that you are out to get someone. My own paranoia makes me just a bit narapoid, because I want to destroy my enemies, which include most of what once were respected institutions.

    Reply
    • Roy Eugene Peterson

      I checked out “narapoia” in the “Urban Dictionary” and other sources where it is defined as “An inverted form of paranoia characterized by the delusional belief that people are out to help you. The term was coined by Sheldon Kopp in his 1978 book, “The End of Innocence.” I can identify with the term and purpose as you use it (and likely found it in some other source) taking out the “irrational” part.

      Reply

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