.

The Ballad of Mark and P’Nut

The lamp is lit, computer’s on,
__My coffee has been brewed.
I scroll to find the harrowing tale,
__The story millions viewed.

At twelve o’clock, October’s end,
__A rap upon the door,
Mark opened it and six armed men
__Tackled him to the floor.

“And who are you?” Mark tried to ask,
__Struggling to slip free.
A man without a chin replied,
__“We’re from the DEC.”

“And what the heck’s the DEC?”
__Asked Mark, lips pressed to tile.
“An agency from New York State,
__Checking your domicile.

The others through the house dispersed,
__Each wore a long thick glove.
Mark heard them scale the stairs and cross
__The creaking floors above.

And then a tiny squeak rang out,
__More high-pitched than a girl.
Poor Mark could recognize the sound
__Of P’Nut, his pet squirrel.

Then down they came, the bureaucrats,
__With P’Nut firmly seized.
“The little bastard bit my arm,
__I think that it’s diseased.”

“By what right do you take my squirrel?
__I’ve had him seven years.”
“Your neighbors put us on to him.”
__“All lies, all fibs, all smears.”

But out they marched that fateful day,
__To P’Nut’s bootless cries.
The chinless one turned ‘round and said,
__“We’re going to euthanize.”

And that same night all P’Nut’s fans
__Knew what his owner knew:
A fatal shot of chloroquine.
__“I’m sorry I failed you!”

When Governor Hochul heard the news
__That P’Nut bought the farm,
She told the press, “Our State is safe,”
__With all her usual smarm.

I finally powered my laptop down
__And headed off to bed
And pondered what had been the fate
__Of Mark’s raccoon named Fred.

.

.

Geoffrey Smagacz writes from Mexico (mostly) and South Carolina. His poetry has been published in various literary magazines and e-zines, including 14 by 14, Dappled Things and the Society of Classical Poets.  His latest murder mystery, Reportedly Murdered (Wipf and Stock, 2022), is now available through online venues. A collection of his fiction, published under the title of A Waste of Shame and Other Sad Tales of the Appalachian Foothills (Wiseblood Books, 2013), won the 2014 Independent Publisher gold medal for Best Mid-Atlantic Regional Fiction. www.geoffreysmagacz.com, @Ge0ffreyW on Twitter.

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13 Responses

  1. Cheryl A Corey

    You don’t have to be a squirrel lover to appreciate your P’Nut ballad. Another example of over-zealous State actors running roughshod over ordinary citizens just trying to do some good and live their lives. And lo and behold, neither one of the animals had rabies. Well done, Geoffrey.

    Reply
  4. Warren Bonham

    Now that NY is safe from the scourge of rabid squirrels, perhaps they’ll move onto the Subway system to see what they can do there.

    Reply
  5. Daniel Tuton

    Beautifully and poignantly written. Thanks for being a voice for the voiceless.

    Reply
  6. Gigi Ryan

    The images your poem created in my mind have stayed with me for days. What a heartbreaking story. You have used poetry to bring a small piece of redemption by enlightening others to this disturbing use of power.
    Gigi

    Reply
  7. Margaret Coats

    Sad and touching, Geoffrey. I recall dying pets who clearly wanted to live despite debilitating conditions, and trying to make them comfortable. Must have been excruciating for Mark to know that P’Nut suffered terror and torture before an unnecessary death. Glad they had seven good years, which in itself would demonstrate that P’Nut did not have rabies. Glad as well that there has been public outrage over this tale well told by you.

    Reply
    • Geoffrey Smagacz

      Thanks for your comments, Margaret. It’s sad what is happening to the once great state of New York.

      Reply

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