.

Payday

Before the crash, the market looked so strong.
I doled out cash and credit, buying in
While others sold. But, sadly, I was wrong
About this, confidence my greatest sin,

And I have duly suffered, if my bank
Account means anything. For such mistakes
I have myself and me alone to thank,
A maladroit investor. Them’s the breaks.

If I could call the whole fiasco back
And formulate a better strategy,
Then maybe my most recent heart attack
Would seem a less ironic tragedy.

A fool, no matter whether young or old,
Will soon be separated from his gold.

.

.

One Juror’s Deliberations on an
Unduly Arcane Process

—true story, John Joseph Moakly U.S. Courthouse, December 2013

We were summoned for duty in Federal Court,
Where they hoped to impanel a couple of juries
That would sift through the numerous claims and report
To the judge their dispassionate findings. The halls
Of the courthouse were hung with historic Old Glories,
Where the stars and the stripes were not quite as we know
Them today, and the building’s exterior walls
Were inscribed with quotations extolling the Law.
The assembly of lawyers continues to grow,
And a case gets more byzantine day after day
As the litigants’ counsel each probe for a flaw
In the arguments made by the other. I’m told
It’s improper to speak of this case, but I may
Give opinions in general terms on the thrust
Of the process: We jurors are out in the cold
When it comes to the standards by which we must reach
Our conclusions; and how a good judge can entrust
Us with doing what’s right is a mystery greater
Than the ones that the priests and the ministers preach
Every Sunday. To keep us on track till the suit
Is resolved, we’ve been granted our own elevator
That conveys us to pastry, hot coffee and fruit.

.

.

C.B. Anderson was the longtime gardener for the PBS television series, The Victory Garden.  Hundreds of his poems have appeared in scores of print and electronic journals out of North America, Great Britain, Ireland, Austria, Australia and India.  His collection, Mortal Soup and the Blue Yonder was published in 2013 by White Violet Press.

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14 Responses

  1. Warren Bonham

    Both of these were great, but I really enjoyed the expose on how juries work in the real world. I’m thankful that I’ve never had the opportunity to sit on one or been subjected to the whims of one. We probably have the best justice system in the world, but it is very far from being perfect.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      For twelve days, Warren, it was all I could do to keep my eyes open. O the tedium! O the pettifogging!

      Reply
  2. Cheryl A Corey

    Regarding “Payday”: If only we had the financial acumen of Pelosi (who always disclaims knowledge of her husband’s trading). What was their overall return? Some 200 percent?

    Reply
    • C.B

      Darth Pelosi might be evil, Cheryl, but she’s no fool. It’s amazing what you can do with inside information.

      Reply
  3. Roy E. Peterson

    Your “Payday” sounds like my payday. Composing a poem from the testimony of a juror of the arcane process of jury deliberations is a well taken commentary on the judicial process and one I would like to see retired attorney turned SCP published poet, Brian Yapko, make comments. The thoughts were fascinating well-chosen words.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Yeah, Roy. I’m glad you saw the irony of the title. BTW, I am a fan of what is called jury nullification.

      Reply
  4. Joseph S. Salemi

    “Payday” is unfortunately a very common story. Many persons were wiped out by the unexpected crash of 2008.

    As for the second poem, I hope Brian Yapko (an experienced attorney) will comment. It does seem to me that the word “byzantine” is the perfect choice to describe what has happened to the legal system. Jurors are chosen not for their intelligence, but for their utter lack of knowledge, opinion, or strong belief, so that they can be more easily brainwashed by the opposing sides.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      I think the idea (perhaps a bad one), Joseph, is to make sure that jurors have no sophisticated understanding of the Law, of precedent or of the litigants themselves. When they say that justice is blind, they really mean it. To the first poem, I am smart enough not to manage my own meager assets.

      Reply
  5. Cynthia Erlandson

    Both cleverly humorous, C.B., and fun to read, as usual. The anapests work well to accent the humor. The rhyme scheme in the second one is fun and interesting, too.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      Someday, Cynthia, I will write a very serious poem, and nobody will like it. The rhyme scheme of which you speak is one I have used many times. It is essentially the logical expansion of an ABACBC stanza, and can go on for any length, as long as the lines are even-numbered.

      Reply
  6. Brian A. Yapko

    I’m always excited to read your poems, C.B. Your skill combined with your insights and wry sense of humor are incredibly engaging. Your Payday poem (nice title with a sense of karma rather than hitting the jackpot) is very relatable. I lost money many years ago in a company called MCI which, it turned out, was engaged in major accounting fraud and money-laundering to the tune of billions of dollars. I think there were around 500,000 victims. Maybe more. Investment strategy and sophisticant matter but you’re only as good as the information provided is honest and accurate. There are many ways to be a fool who is “separated from his gold.” That includes being defrauded. But you can’t exactly stuff the mattress with dollar bills either.

    Joe was right about my interest in your “Juror’s Deliberations” poem. It’s very observant. “Unduly arcane?” You know it. I’ve been both inside and outside the jury box so I appreciate every insight you have offered regarding the byzantine details of the case (which is almost certainly matched by the byzantine machinations of the lawyers themselves.) I’ve long felt that jurors were overly-condescended to in the way evidence is excluded from them and they are instructed to leave common sense outside the courthouse. That the judges and lawyers pretend this is even possible is only one of many annoying fictions.

    Judges and lawyers want people who are basically blank slates and yet no one wants a person who is a blank slate to decide important matters – especially life or death. So you want a blank slate who is also deep and thoughtful. And eminently suggestible!

    Juries are readily manipulatable (look at Alvin Bragg/Judge Merchan case against our future president.) And that’s how the judge and lawyers want it to be. Smart enough to see through the other side’s BS yet dumb enough to be easily fooled by sleight of hand. Smart enough to understand arcane jury instructions but dumb enough to actually follow them so slavishly that justice doesn’t have a chance. They want juries who are willing to set not only their prior knowledge and life experience aside but who are also willing to set their consciences aside. Being on a jury is a great way to acquire insight into a system that provides resolution without justice. And if justice prevails, it’s because somehow good people find a way to stumble through a procedural obstacle course.

    You’re lucky you got hot coffee, pastries and fruit. I was on a jury at the tail end of Covid in New Mexico and not only was each juror required to wear a mask, we were “social-distance” separated by six feet so that half of us had to sit in the courtroom audience seats. And no food was provided because it might get us sick. Oh, and the witnesses testified with masks on so that we could not observe their faces to see how credible they were. New Mexico is not an entirely rational state.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      I only wish, Brian, that I could sleep on a mattress stuffed with dollar bills.

      When Science is for sale, there is no Science, and when jurors are sold a bill of goods, there can be no justice. No wonder you got out.

      Reply
  7. Mike Bryant

    C.B.
    Gotta go with Doc Salemi… your perfect poetry never disappoints.
    I have a feeling that the Soros’s and the Pelosi’s navigated the financial rapids just fine.
    As for the jury duty… I have somehow managed to beat it every single time.
    I heard about a guy that told the judge that the company he worked for needed him. The judge asked him if he thought the company couldn’t get along without him for three weeks.
    He said, “I know they can get along without me… but I don’t want them to know they can get along without me.”

    He was dismissed… perhaps for being too honest!

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      That’s a funny story, Mike, whether it’s true or not. Unless you are a glutton for punishment, be glad that you were never selected for that particular civic duty.

      Reply

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