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Four Newsy Limericks

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A pedophile, if you should see one,
Must not be reported. The reason?
__It could be your fate
__That you’d be charged with “hate.”
A crime worse by far than to be one.

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It’s easier dealing with China,
Than rebuilding in South Carolina
__When FEMA’s assigned.
__You’re more likely to find
A transwoman with a vagina.

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As the Southern Cal fires were still burning
Bass and Newsom found it more concerning.
__When Progressives of fame
__Began placing the blame
And their partisan views started turning.

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When the RINOs decided to jump,
Mainstream media called him a chump.
__But pro-Harris/Walz wept
__When the MAGA votes swept
Into office a POTUS named Trump.

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James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and four collections of poetry including Sidekicks, Mostly Sonnets, and Laughing Matters, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in both print and online media. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition.

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10 Responses

  1. Cynthia Erlandson

    So much fun (despite the sad subject matter), and so cleverly done.

    Reply
  4. Roy E. Peterson

    For a long-winded poem there’s no need,
    When James Tweedie will speak of a deed.
    His target is clear
    When he throws his spear
    And then we are rewarded indeed!

    Reply
  5. Paul A. Freeman

    Said Trump, “I’ll buy Greenland! And shucks!
    The geopolitical crux
    is trade routes, resources
    and military forces,
    with Elon to stump up the bucks.

    Of course, the irony is that while denying climate change, Felon Trump cites the melting Greenland ice sheet and sea lanes opening up due to melting sea ice for preparing to invade the world’s biggest island. Double think in action.

    Reply
    • C.B. Anderson

      “Climate Change” is such a vague term that it has no standing in any truly scientific discussion. Don’t you realize, Mr. Freefall, that climate has been changing throughout the entire history of earth? Or that extreme weather events are quite common throughout human history? Of course you don’t, which might be why you embrace sciolism.

      Reply
      • James A. Tweedie

        Earlier today, while doing research for a short story, I came across a reference to the 1881 Thumb Fire in upper Michigan. Extended drought, high temperatures, high winds and bad timber management conspired to fuel a conflagration that burned through 1,000,000 acres in ONE DAY. Imagine how that event would be used to support a certain narrative today.

  6. Mike Bryant

    Huge fun and spot on messages, James, thanks.
    For Paul:
    Trump is a “felon” the same way…
    * Voter I.D. is “racist”
    * Killing babies is “women’s healthcare”
    * The southern border is “secure”
    * Gender is “fluid”
    * Climate change is “man-made”
    * Taxpayer funded is “free”
    * Joe Biden is “fit for office”
    * Mutilating children is “gender-affirming care”
    * The extinction of passenger pigeons is “genocide”

    Reply

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