judge and gavel (public domain)Two Poems of Judgment by Joseph S. Salemi The Society February 4, 2025 Poetry, Satire 12 Comments . The Judge Addresses the Defendant “Living in America is like serving in the army; ninety percent of conduct is prescribed by law and the remaining ten percent by the esprit de corps.” —Albert Jay Nock Of course you have free speech. I wouldn’t sit Here on the Federal bench of this great nation If that were not the case. I’d up and quit. But government—just like a corporation— Has to set certain limits. We expect You’ll stay away from anything offensive. We don’t want satire, or gross disrespect; Perverted sex and violence leave us pensive. We tolerate no ethnic slurs. A word Of smutty talk evokes exactions grim, And children are a special case. You’ve heard How we safeguard those precious cherubim. Other than this, you’re free to speak your mind— That right is constitutionally defined. . . A Ditty for the Damned —with apologies to Busby Berkeley and the song “Honeymoon Hotel” in his 1933 film Footlight Parade. If I could afford a short vacation I would like to take a trip to Hell. Railways go express to Hades Station Belching hot sulphuric smell. Devils will be ready there with scourges Waiting for the whistle and the bell. Souls will be emitting dismal dirges As they face those fiends so fell. Lawyers won’t discover any loophole; Congressmen won’t have their votes to sell; Fact is, the entire stinking group whole Will give out a piercing yell. Communists and Marxists will be groaning; Businessmen will pine for their cartel; And you’ll hear pathetic cries and moaning When perceptions start to jell. What will they perceive? It’s very simple— Close incarceration in a cell Where a pitchfork-wielding little imp’ll Stab your ass until you swell. Demons will prepare you for the fire And believe me, they will do it well— You’ll be baking on that raging pyre Like a clam inside its shell. There is something further that I dread still To mention—it’s so horrible to tell— Nazi guards will have you on the treadmill As they scream Schweinhund, mach schnell! There is no escaping from this jailhouse; You’ll be here for more than just a spell. No parole, no pardon, and no bail, louse— Just le supplice éternel. It won’t be like a comic operetta; It won’t be like The Farmer in the Dell. You will not go on to something better When you’re flame-broiled down in Hell. . . Joseph S. Salemi has published five books of poetry, and his poems, translations and scholarly articles have appeared in over one hundred publications world-wide. He is the editor of the literary magazine TRINACRIA and writes for Expansive Poetry On-line. He teaches in the Department of Humanities at New York University and in the Department of Classical Languages at Hunter College. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)Trending now: 12 Responses Morrison Handley-Schachler February 4, 2025 Two excellent poems, Joseph. Of course free speech does not grant a licence for fraud, incitement to crime or violence, child abuse or gross obscenity, but we have been seeing oppressive attempts in the UK to prohibit the expressions of opinions which powerful people disagree with and want to suppress. To your second poem, I would be tempted to reply: But at least for hell’s imprisoned creatures, Should they wish their sins to call to mind. Priests, imams, monks, holy-men and preachers Will be none to difficult to find. Reply Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, Morrison. Genuine free speech means speech that really is free, with very few exceptions or qualifications. Both of our countries have seen a frightening expansion of censorship that threatens to take us back to full-blown Puritanism. I agree completely with your comment on my second poem. Dante had Popes and members of the hierarchy in his Inferno, and one Patristic writer said that the road to hell was paved not with good intentions but with the skulls of bishops. Reply Mark Stellinga February 4, 2025 Joe, nothing like feisty satirical poetry to make a meaningful point. Fun to pen and fun to read, these are both delightfully disturbing. Nice job… 🙂 Reply Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, Mark. And “delightfully disturbing” is a good way to describe one of my aims in poetry. Reply Roy Eugene Peterson February 4, 2025 Dr. Salemi, in the first poem you well point out limitations that have unconscionably been placed on free speech. Once that is set in place, the trend becomes virtually irrevocable to further limit our freedom(s). In the second poem you brilliantly carried out the primary rhyme throughout the verses with special inspiration in using “le supplice éternel” and “mach schnell.” You have written two creative poems, both of them with well-honed (like a knife) messages and great verbal skills. Reply Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, LTC Peterson. I can’t believe how quickly the new censorship developed in the Western world (and it’s much worse in Canada, the U.K. and Europe than it is here in the states). One of the great effects of the re-election of Trump is that we all feel like a choking constriction has been removed from our throats, and we can say what we think again without cancellation, shaming, or legal prosecution. I wanted to maintain the -ell rhyme in my second poem, because it was what the lyricist did in that original Busby Berkeley song that I used as a model. The use of foreign terms became inevitable, and I’m glad they worked out. Reply Julian D. Woodruff February 4, 2025 Both are great, Joseph–especially the 2nd, which is dazzling, funny, and scary all at once. I was imagining it set to an edgy tune, spiced by occasional startling percussive effects. Reply Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, Julian. If you get to see the original film “Footlight Parade” you can hear the edgy tune that was in my mind as I wrote the poem. And yes, the strong percussive effects were there in the original. Reply Brian A. Yapko February 4, 2025 Both of these poems are hilarious satire, Joe. Except “The Judge Addresses…” may not really be satire since it offers no exaggeration whatsoever. You have simply recorded the convoluted and inconsistent boundaries with which leftists frequently constrict what we euphemistically call “free speech.” It’s interesting to see that you have selected one judge and one defendant here. This forces the issue of what is acceptable speech into completely subjective territory. Unacceptable speech is whatever the judge finds offensive or disrespectful, and it’s up to him to decide what is unfit for the “precious cherubim.” The argument is basically “because I say so.” These days, a judge in a conservative state might well agree that smut is unfit for the children. But in a liberal state, it is the pastors who will be silenced and the drag queens empowered. In the end, I believe the point you make is that subjective taste is a lousy framework for determining what should be or should not be regulated in free speech. But of the two poems it is the “Ditty for the Damned” that really grabs me. It’s just so funny! The hilarity starts with your homage to the Busby Berkeley number from which your poem takes off. The idea of a spoiled speaker fantasizing about a vacation in Hell is brilliant and piercing. I love how you universalize the experience by throwing in some German and French phrasing, and some of the rhymes are just too clever: simple/imp’ll or my favorite: jailhouse and bail, louse. The absurd linkage of a lavish Busby Berkeley musical production number and the horrors of damnation remind me of Mel Brooks as Torquemada singing about the joys of the Spanish Inquisition in his History of the World, Part I. Every so often, Joe, your comic poems have that Brooks touch which I prize. Absurdity can be a powerful tool in the poetic satiric arsenal. How fun it would be to see this cinematic piece actually performed! Reply Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Brian, thank you. It takes an experienced attorney like yourself to see the major point — a judge in a specific case with a specific defendant before him can be just as arbitrary and unfair and unjust as a tyrant in a dictatorship. Look at that scumbag Merchan and the way he railroaded Trump with an absurd and illegal prosecution that should have been dismissed on the spot. And yes — the right wing can be just as guilty in this respect as the left wing. The whole point about our Constitution is that it guarantees free speech for ALL, on ALL subjects, with only a small and highly circumscribed number of exceptions. The unraveling of our free-speech guarantees occurred when leftist academics managed to dream up that chimera called “hate speech,” which all of a sudden allowed for unlimited open season on what people said and wrote, if some self-proclaimed “victim” argued that he was hurt by it. And redefining speech as an “act” made it possible to gut free speech guarantees. Brian, I’m very glad I pleased you with that second poem. And I’m delighted that we had the same pleasure in the rhymes “simple – imp’ll” and “jailhouse – bail, louse.” All of the A rhymes in those quatrains had to be feminine, and that can be hard to manage without some ingenuity. Thank you for linking me with Mel Brooks and his hilarious skit on Torquemada and the Spanish inquisition — I loved that scene in the movie! Reply James A. Tweedie February 5, 2025 Wicked and to the point—of a pitchfork! The second my favorite with a multilingual flare along with my compliments for managing to avoid using the obvious rhyme, “hotel,” even once. The setting for that song and the so-called scandal that ensued, was, by the way, (as you know but others may not), what triggered the start of Hollywood’s moral censorship over what was subsequently permitted in film and, later, television—including Ricky and Lucille’s infamous twin beds (leading us all to wonder how DID she get pregnant with little Ricky?) As I said, wicked. Reply Joseph S. Salemi February 5, 2025 James — yes… that film “Footlight Parade” had the scene set in a Chinese brothel, where all the girls (from various nations) sat around singing about their business as soldiers (in varied uniforms from many militaries) bought them drinks and flirted with them. One American sailor (played by James Cagney) is searching for his “Shanghai Lil,” who is his particular favorite whore. This brothel scene, along with the film’s long musical skit about “Honeymoon Hotel,” where couples are involved in all kinds of bed-switching hijinks, is what set the Comstockians into a fury, and got the dreary “Motion Picture Code” enacted. This resulted in the idiocy of directors making sure that all married couples in future films slept in twin beds. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Morrison Handley-Schachler February 4, 2025 Two excellent poems, Joseph. Of course free speech does not grant a licence for fraud, incitement to crime or violence, child abuse or gross obscenity, but we have been seeing oppressive attempts in the UK to prohibit the expressions of opinions which powerful people disagree with and want to suppress. To your second poem, I would be tempted to reply: But at least for hell’s imprisoned creatures, Should they wish their sins to call to mind. Priests, imams, monks, holy-men and preachers Will be none to difficult to find. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, Morrison. Genuine free speech means speech that really is free, with very few exceptions or qualifications. Both of our countries have seen a frightening expansion of censorship that threatens to take us back to full-blown Puritanism. I agree completely with your comment on my second poem. Dante had Popes and members of the hierarchy in his Inferno, and one Patristic writer said that the road to hell was paved not with good intentions but with the skulls of bishops. Reply
Mark Stellinga February 4, 2025 Joe, nothing like feisty satirical poetry to make a meaningful point. Fun to pen and fun to read, these are both delightfully disturbing. Nice job… 🙂 Reply
Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, Mark. And “delightfully disturbing” is a good way to describe one of my aims in poetry. Reply
Roy Eugene Peterson February 4, 2025 Dr. Salemi, in the first poem you well point out limitations that have unconscionably been placed on free speech. Once that is set in place, the trend becomes virtually irrevocable to further limit our freedom(s). In the second poem you brilliantly carried out the primary rhyme throughout the verses with special inspiration in using “le supplice éternel” and “mach schnell.” You have written two creative poems, both of them with well-honed (like a knife) messages and great verbal skills. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, LTC Peterson. I can’t believe how quickly the new censorship developed in the Western world (and it’s much worse in Canada, the U.K. and Europe than it is here in the states). One of the great effects of the re-election of Trump is that we all feel like a choking constriction has been removed from our throats, and we can say what we think again without cancellation, shaming, or legal prosecution. I wanted to maintain the -ell rhyme in my second poem, because it was what the lyricist did in that original Busby Berkeley song that I used as a model. The use of foreign terms became inevitable, and I’m glad they worked out. Reply
Julian D. Woodruff February 4, 2025 Both are great, Joseph–especially the 2nd, which is dazzling, funny, and scary all at once. I was imagining it set to an edgy tune, spiced by occasional startling percussive effects. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Thank you, Julian. If you get to see the original film “Footlight Parade” you can hear the edgy tune that was in my mind as I wrote the poem. And yes, the strong percussive effects were there in the original. Reply
Brian A. Yapko February 4, 2025 Both of these poems are hilarious satire, Joe. Except “The Judge Addresses…” may not really be satire since it offers no exaggeration whatsoever. You have simply recorded the convoluted and inconsistent boundaries with which leftists frequently constrict what we euphemistically call “free speech.” It’s interesting to see that you have selected one judge and one defendant here. This forces the issue of what is acceptable speech into completely subjective territory. Unacceptable speech is whatever the judge finds offensive or disrespectful, and it’s up to him to decide what is unfit for the “precious cherubim.” The argument is basically “because I say so.” These days, a judge in a conservative state might well agree that smut is unfit for the children. But in a liberal state, it is the pastors who will be silenced and the drag queens empowered. In the end, I believe the point you make is that subjective taste is a lousy framework for determining what should be or should not be regulated in free speech. But of the two poems it is the “Ditty for the Damned” that really grabs me. It’s just so funny! The hilarity starts with your homage to the Busby Berkeley number from which your poem takes off. The idea of a spoiled speaker fantasizing about a vacation in Hell is brilliant and piercing. I love how you universalize the experience by throwing in some German and French phrasing, and some of the rhymes are just too clever: simple/imp’ll or my favorite: jailhouse and bail, louse. The absurd linkage of a lavish Busby Berkeley musical production number and the horrors of damnation remind me of Mel Brooks as Torquemada singing about the joys of the Spanish Inquisition in his History of the World, Part I. Every so often, Joe, your comic poems have that Brooks touch which I prize. Absurdity can be a powerful tool in the poetic satiric arsenal. How fun it would be to see this cinematic piece actually performed! Reply
Joseph S. Salemi February 4, 2025 Brian, thank you. It takes an experienced attorney like yourself to see the major point — a judge in a specific case with a specific defendant before him can be just as arbitrary and unfair and unjust as a tyrant in a dictatorship. Look at that scumbag Merchan and the way he railroaded Trump with an absurd and illegal prosecution that should have been dismissed on the spot. And yes — the right wing can be just as guilty in this respect as the left wing. The whole point about our Constitution is that it guarantees free speech for ALL, on ALL subjects, with only a small and highly circumscribed number of exceptions. The unraveling of our free-speech guarantees occurred when leftist academics managed to dream up that chimera called “hate speech,” which all of a sudden allowed for unlimited open season on what people said and wrote, if some self-proclaimed “victim” argued that he was hurt by it. And redefining speech as an “act” made it possible to gut free speech guarantees. Brian, I’m very glad I pleased you with that second poem. And I’m delighted that we had the same pleasure in the rhymes “simple – imp’ll” and “jailhouse – bail, louse.” All of the A rhymes in those quatrains had to be feminine, and that can be hard to manage without some ingenuity. Thank you for linking me with Mel Brooks and his hilarious skit on Torquemada and the Spanish inquisition — I loved that scene in the movie! Reply
James A. Tweedie February 5, 2025 Wicked and to the point—of a pitchfork! The second my favorite with a multilingual flare along with my compliments for managing to avoid using the obvious rhyme, “hotel,” even once. The setting for that song and the so-called scandal that ensued, was, by the way, (as you know but others may not), what triggered the start of Hollywood’s moral censorship over what was subsequently permitted in film and, later, television—including Ricky and Lucille’s infamous twin beds (leading us all to wonder how DID she get pregnant with little Ricky?) As I said, wicked. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi February 5, 2025 James — yes… that film “Footlight Parade” had the scene set in a Chinese brothel, where all the girls (from various nations) sat around singing about their business as soldiers (in varied uniforms from many militaries) bought them drinks and flirted with them. One American sailor (played by James Cagney) is searching for his “Shanghai Lil,” who is his particular favorite whore. This brothel scene, along with the film’s long musical skit about “Honeymoon Hotel,” where couples are involved in all kinds of bed-switching hijinks, is what set the Comstockians into a fury, and got the dreary “Motion Picture Code” enacted. This resulted in the idiocy of directors making sure that all married couples in future films slept in twin beds. Reply