‘If You Ever Break Down’ and Other Poetry by James A. Tweedie

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If You Ever Break Down

If you ever break down somewhere far from your friends
_And you stick out your thumb for a ride.
Don’t expect that a Beemer or Mercedes-Benz
_Will slow down or pull up alongside.

What you hope you will see is an open-bed truck
_With the logo, Ford F-1-5-0,
For the driver will probably stop for good luck
_And he’ll ask where you want him to go.

An American flag might be somewhere in view
_And some beer in the back will be cold.
He might have a long beard and a tattoo or two
_But his heart will be made out of gold.

He will probably not have a college degree
_But he’ll give you the shirt off his back.
And he’ll do what he can without charging a fee,
_With a jump-charge or loan of his jack.

He might lift up your hood and say, “What do you know!”
_As he checks every line for a leak.
Or he’ll change a flat tire, or he’ll give you a tow
_As he pulls out your car from a creek.

If your engine is hot and your coolant is low
_He’ll have plenty of spare anti-freeze.
And he knows more of what you most need him to know
_Than a man who has four PhDs.

So the moral is this: if you find that you’re stuck,
Hope and pray for a man in an open-bed truck.

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Shifting Gears

Most folks who drive a Tesla are Progressive.
They want to save the world and go in style.
But radicals have now become aggressive,
By targeting their smug, self-righteous smile.

Although its Elon Musk they think they’re keying,
They’re angering each Dem who owns the car.
For blinded by their rage they are not seeing
They’ve taken their insanity too far.

For though Republicans demand each vandal
Be charged as a domestic terrorist,
The Dems whose cars have got a scratched-up handle
Are torn between support and being pissed.

I doubt that this will sway the next election,
But global warming fears have hit a bump.
For as we watch the Left’s self-vivisection,
They’ve turned their hate from climate change to Trump.

The radicals have cost Tesla its aura,
But since their angry muscles have been flexed,
They can’t all simply move to Bora Bora,
So where will EV advocates turn next?

They’ve rearranged their own Titanic deck chairs;
Their own parade is that on which they’ve rained.
For though both Musk and Trump were in their crosshairs,
They’ve lost far more than anything they’ve gained.

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James A. Tweedie is a retired pastor living in Long Beach, Washington. He has written and published six novels, one collection of short stories, and four collections of poetry including Sidekicks, Mostly Sonnets, and Laughing Matters, all with Dunecrest Press. His poems have been published nationally and internationally in both print and online media. He was honored with being chosen as the winner of the 2021 SCP International Poetry Competition.