Garden painting by Nicolas Lancret‘Backyard Bliss’ and Other Poetry by Susan Jarvis Bryant The Society September 1, 2020 Beauty, Poetry 36 Comments Backyard Bliss I hear hope’s song fill skies today __In trills beyond my door. Her citrus kiss burns through the grey __As martins dip and soar. Their purple sheen in lemon rays Is testament to summer’s gaze— __It warms me to my core. And as I’m drawn to step outside, Hope’s wonderment won’t be denied. I see joy’s dance in dragonflies __That skim on whirring wing, And butterflies that cram my eyes __With hues so bright they sing. In saffron tones their presence glows A pulse of red, a note of rose— __Joy’s rainbow chorales ring. And as I lie upon the grass My worries (like the clouds) just pass. I feel love’s lure in fireflies __With winking blinks of green, And in the jasmine-scented highs __Of twilight’s silver scene. As Venus flickers overhead, Love weaves a dream in diamond thread __Through every lunar beam. And as I tread the spangled lawn I praise the hour this day was born. I search for solace in the arms __Of Mother Nature’s care. I know the balm within her charms __Will have me stop and stare At space beyond the racing pace; Beyond dark paths that veer from grace, __Above piques of despair. So, when I’m low and life grows hard, I wander into my backyard. The Spyder Spyder Spyder, spinning fright, In the moon-kissed bloom of night, Gracing air with prayer of death Before dawn draws her morning breath; Cloaked in husk of bristling jet, Lurking in the devil’s net, Willing teasing breeze to bring A lush and juicy wingéd thing; Looming ghoul of drooling fang, Watches flitting pretties hang, Scuttling in to pierce and wrap The manna snared in terror’s trap— Moreish mite in sticky silk; Hors d’oeuvre served for fiend to milk And guzzle on ambrosial grub With the zeal of Beelzebub…. Spyder Spyder, spinning fright, In the blue-moon doom of night, Lacing air with lair of death Before dawn draws her mourning breath. First published in Expansive Poetry Online Susan Jarvis Bryant is a church secretary and poet whose homeland is Kent, England. She is now an American citizen living on the coastal plains of Texas. Susan has poetry published in the UK webzine, Lighten Up On Line, The Daily Mail, and Openings (anthologies of poems by Open University Poets). NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Trending now: 36 Responses Leo Zoutewelle September 1, 2020 Really very nice, Susan! Congratulations. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much, Leo. I appreciate you dropping by and commenting. I know we share the same love of nature – your poems are an inspiration. Reply Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2020 Both poems are beautifully done, but “The Spyder” is especially accomplished. Can I ask about two words? In the spider poem’s fourth quatrain, what does “Moreish” mean? It doesn’t ring a bell with me. And in “Backyard Bliss,” in the second stanza the word “cram” (in “cram my eyes”) seems out of place. How about just “fill,” or some other monosyllable? I might suggest “charm my eyes.” Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much, Dr. Salemi. “Moreish” is used in the context of food and means it’s so delicious it makes you want to eat more of it. It is very British, but as my poem is a nod to Blake, I thought I’d grace it with a bit of Englishness. When I used the word “cram”, I was going after the idea of filling my eyes to the point of overflowing with the colors of the butterfly, but I can see how the word may jar. I will most certainly look for another word that’s in keeping with the rest of the poem. Reply Allegra Silberstein September 1, 2020 Thanks for your beautiful poems…Allegra Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 I’m thrilled you like them – thank you, Allegra. Reply Satyananda Sarangi September 1, 2020 Hello Susan ma’am! You must be having a “poetic backyard” wherein bliss resides throughout the year. Loved the first one. “The Spyder” – well executed and top-notch imagery. Thank you. ☺ Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much, Satyananda. I love the outdoors. Give me a glimpse of sky, the warmth of the sun, the caress of a breeze, and the beauty of the birds and butterflies, and I’m happy. Reply Sally Cook September 1, 2020 Susan, you have a way with words – a very specific way! As I said before, the spyder is a creature of the dark; I fear it. In other words it has a strong effect on me. I do agree with Joe Salemi insofar as the word “cram”goes. Please continue to provide us with examples of your your far-reaching and yet very specific examples of your adjectival proclivities. Sincerely and with affection – Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 I really appreciate you dropping by, my dear friend. I thoroughly appreciate your fine eye – the word “cram” is a definite mistake. I will admit that I have a terrible fear of spiders… I respect them and only wish I didn’t feel a scream rise every time I saw one. I really want to love them… but… they’re so darn creepy!! I am embarrassed by this fear and ashamed to admit I’ve behaved in the most appalling fashion in the presence of a spider. Why, I ask myself… I’m a lover of all critters – including snakes and alligators… why spiders? Reply David Paul Behrens September 1, 2020 Both of these poems are well crafted and enjoyable to read. The following is a related poem I wrote in 2017: William Blake In another lifetime, I was William Blake. When I saw his work, That was my take. He wrote about love And the human heart. I thought I was him, Right from the start. He wrote about London, Tiger burning bright. His influence looms In whatever I write. He wrote about life, The human abstract. I hope I was him. I hope it’s a fact. I flatter myself To think I was him. Deep down I know The chances are slim. His mystical presence Burns like a fire. To be like him Is to what I aspire. Reply Margaret Coats September 1, 2020 The word “cram” is a punch in the face, but I immediately understood your meaning–something not easily conveyed by a milder word. Just think of a dedicated butterfly garden, surrounded by netting that prevents the butterflies from escaping, and where they occasionally crash into a visitor’s eye. I will also support your use of “cram” with three lines from Amy Lowell’s multicolored sonnet, “A Tulip Garden.” Here are platoons of gold-frocked cavalry, With scarlet sabres tossing in the eye Of purple batteries, every gun in place. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Dear Margaret, I really appreciate this alternative viewpoint. I haven’t yet found a word to replace “cram”, simply because nothing says it like this in-your-face word. The reason I wanted to change it is because butterflies in England don’t have the same impact as the dish-plate size ones in Texas, and I thought I’d gone off track with a rather gaudy take on something so delicate… but… Amy Lowell may well have changed my mind. You’ve given me a lot to think about (as ever). Thank you very much for your insightful take. Reply Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2020 The problem with the verb “cram” is connotation and tone! To cram means “to overstuff,” “to fill to repletion,” or “to pack in tightly.” It is best used in sentences like “The closet is crammed with junk,” or “The refrigerator is crammed with food.” Using it in a bucolic poem like “Backyard Bliss” is simply jarring and out of place. The word is essentially slangy, and therefore lacking in the literary decorum proper to Mrs. Bryant’s poem. And when one uses slang in the wrong place, it put you on the edge of the dreaded bathos. Consider this McGonagallesque example: Dearest, you are all my bliss– I hunger for your precious kiss. Those love-notes–honey, send me more! I’m cramming them in my desk drawer. See how one wrong word wrecks a poem? Also, notice that Amy Lowell (to her credit) did not use the word “cram.” She created instead an extended metaphor of tulips as a military formation, with tossing sabres and batteries of cannon. Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Dr. Salemi, my head simply crammed (LOL) with ideas and I’m so grateful for this informative discussion on the word. I do like the word “cram” and Margaret’s take makes me want to hold on to my initial idea, but it would appear that the majority of readers find it jarring and your reasoning makes sense. What do you think about butterflies that “widen” eyes? For me “widen” captures an element wonder and surprise at their beauty. Julian suggested “greet”. I also like that. Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2020 Well, if you use “widen,” you’ll have to omit “my” for metrical reasons. But then the line looks like it might mean the butterflies have eyes that they are widening, and that would be absurd. Whatever you need, it has to be a monosyllable. Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 David, thank you very much for your lovely comment and wonderful poem. I particularly like “He wrote about love/And the human heart./I thought I was him,/Right from the start.” For me, this says everything about Blake. He spoke the language of the people. His contemporaries had little time for his works and looked down their noses at him. But, that’s exactly why his followers loved him… he understood what other poets didn’t – probably because he came from a working class background. As a teenager, his “Songs of Innocence” sang to my heart and it was then I fell in love with his poetry. “The Spyder” is a nod of gratitude to one of the greats. Reply David Paul Behrens September 1, 2020 Amen! Reply Julian D. Woodruff September 1, 2020 Congratulations, Susan Your command of alliteration is on vivid display, but there is much inventive resonance, too. What I like best, though, is your respect for spiders. They’re not just wonderful creatures that help the environment. I had the same q about Moreish. Too bad it’s lost on most American ears. As for “cram,” I stopped there, too. But my 1st thought was “greet” … as in “Every morning you greet me.” Oh, dear! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much for your considered observations, Julian. I’m glad my respect for arachnids comes through – I know they’re a force for good and really want to like them… darn it! As for “moreish”, I’m so glad you appreciate it. I adore the sound and feel of the word. It speaks of a rich, addictive deliciousness that rolls off the tongue like honey. I like “greet” – it changes my idea, but creates a new one that appeals to me. Great stuff! Thanks again. Reply Mike Bryant September 1, 2020 I knew that most Americans might have a problem with the word “moreish” and suggested scrumptious or luscious. Susan loved it so much I decided to look it up and apparently it IS an American English word. So I just figured anyone could just look it up at merriam-webster.com. It’s there and it means palatable. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Yes, you did warn me but I’m very stubborn when it comes to words I love. “Moreish” is way above “cram” on my Wonderful Words list – it’s going nowhere. Reply Rod Walford September 1, 2020 Thank you Susan! Your first had me sitting in a lounger your backyard sharing all that beauty of nature with you. Your second reminded me of my old backyard ( don’t like that Americanism although I confess we use it here in N.Z.) my old garden in Sussex where we had a long beech hedge. On a frosty morning all you could see were rime covered spider webs over the entire thing. It was a awesome sight – and a truly magnificent feat of engineering! Your poems are a delight – as always. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Rod, I’m thrilled you liked my poems. I, like you, had terrible trouble with the word “backyard” when I first arrived in Texas. How on earth could someone call the green and floral land outside their window a yard?! I had to convert to the word pretty quickly as every time I spoke of my “garden”, people asked what vegetables I was growing… and, I’m no vegetable grower. There’s nothing like a frosted, sun-dusted, or dew-laden spider’s web. You are absolutely right, they are truly a magnificent feat of engineering. I must, however, admire them from a distance. If I walk into one it freaks me. The sheer strength and sticky elasticity of it gives me goosebumps. I seriously need therapy LOL. Thank you very much for your lovely comment. Reply Terry L. Norton September 1, 2020 I enjoyed both poems – the first as an homage to the solace that nature in repose can bring and the second in its portrayal of nature’s utter fierceness like the little drama presented in Frost’s “Design.” Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Terry, thank you very much for your comment. Mother Nature fascinates me and you have tapped into the very core of her beauty and savagery. I’ve just read Robert Frost’s “Design” for the very first time. Wow! What a vivid linguistic picture he paints – I love the word choice, the imagery, the figures of speech, and the subject matter. If my spider poem is a fraction as good, I’m smiling. Reply Joe Spring September 2, 2020 Lovely, Susan. I particularly liked the muffled buzzing in Beelzebub. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Thank you very much for your astute observation, Joe. I love words for the feel and sound of them, and always enjoy reading poetry aloud. I’m so glad you spotted and appreciated that in the Beelzebub line. I love your “muffled buzzing” description. How well those two words sit together. I might steal them for a future poem. 😉 Reply David Watt September 2, 2020 Susan, “Backyard Bliss”is a delight to the senses. You must have a backyard to be envied! My take on the use of ‘cram’ is that the single word ‘delight’ (for what is a delightfully described scene) could be used to replace ‘that cram’. The alliteration and thoughtful word choice in ‘The Spyder’ make it a wonderful poem to read aloud. We also use the word ‘moreish’ in Australia eg. ‘That meal was rather moreish’. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 David, thank you very much for your wonderful comment. I like the idea of “delight” – it’s pretty and in keeping with the mood of the poem. As an added bonus, it creates an internal rhyme with “so bright” in the following line. I’m thrilled to hear that you’re eating moreish dishes in Australia – what better word to describe the sheer deliciousness of a meal that begs for a second helping! Reply Julian D. Woodruff September 2, 2020 Susan, I hope you’re not getting tired of all this picking and packing around a single word. I’m betting you hold onto “cram,” and I don’t blame you. Another direction that comes to mind: energize, enliven, awaken etc. Unfortunately, I can come up with only “stoke”! Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Julian, I never get tired of discussing the intricacies of poetry. I love sweating the small stuff, especially with a like-minded group of people who can steer me in the right direction. I’m drawn to the word “stoke” – it conjures an image of eyes blazing in the glory of a butterfly’s colorful wing. I am now spoilt for choice, and that’s the way I like it! Thank you very much for your wonderful suggestion. Reply Jeff Eardley September 2, 2020 Susan, I love “Cram.” I also love “Dram” especially when preceded by “Wee” and the favourite word of Monty Pythoneers, “Spam.” Your backyard sounds amazing. I have tried to get inspiration from mine but all I can see on a wet afternoon is a fence that needs a lick, and a resident lame wood-pigeon that walks everywhere. “The Spyder” is up there on the top shelf of English poetry, in fact my copy has flown off the top shelf, out of the window and gone stratospheric. Two cracking poems. Thank you so much. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 3, 2020 Thank you very much for your beautifully humorous comment, Jeff. What’s wrong with a walking wood-pigeon – much better than a Pythonesque parrot! I like the sound of the “wee dram”. I get seriously drunk on the beauty of the butterflies in my backyard… this description suits me. I’m thrilled you like my bristling Spyder… I know it will never compare to a blazing Tyger – one can but try. Reply C.B. Anderson September 2, 2020 When you write amazing lyric poetry like this, Susan, it makes me want to suggest that you try submitting poems to the ORCHARDS poetry journal. You might find a summer home there. On the subject of “cram” I’m fairly neutral, but you might consider “storm” as an alternative. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant September 3, 2020 C.B., thank you very much for the ORCHARD pointer, and for your take on “cram”. I like “storm” – the image of a forceful invasion of beauty appeals to me. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much, Leo. I appreciate you dropping by and commenting. I know we share the same love of nature – your poems are an inspiration. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2020 Both poems are beautifully done, but “The Spyder” is especially accomplished. Can I ask about two words? In the spider poem’s fourth quatrain, what does “Moreish” mean? It doesn’t ring a bell with me. And in “Backyard Bliss,” in the second stanza the word “cram” (in “cram my eyes”) seems out of place. How about just “fill,” or some other monosyllable? I might suggest “charm my eyes.” Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much, Dr. Salemi. “Moreish” is used in the context of food and means it’s so delicious it makes you want to eat more of it. It is very British, but as my poem is a nod to Blake, I thought I’d grace it with a bit of Englishness. When I used the word “cram”, I was going after the idea of filling my eyes to the point of overflowing with the colors of the butterfly, but I can see how the word may jar. I will most certainly look for another word that’s in keeping with the rest of the poem. Reply
Satyananda Sarangi September 1, 2020 Hello Susan ma’am! You must be having a “poetic backyard” wherein bliss resides throughout the year. Loved the first one. “The Spyder” – well executed and top-notch imagery. Thank you. ☺ Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much, Satyananda. I love the outdoors. Give me a glimpse of sky, the warmth of the sun, the caress of a breeze, and the beauty of the birds and butterflies, and I’m happy. Reply
Sally Cook September 1, 2020 Susan, you have a way with words – a very specific way! As I said before, the spyder is a creature of the dark; I fear it. In other words it has a strong effect on me. I do agree with Joe Salemi insofar as the word “cram”goes. Please continue to provide us with examples of your your far-reaching and yet very specific examples of your adjectival proclivities. Sincerely and with affection – Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 I really appreciate you dropping by, my dear friend. I thoroughly appreciate your fine eye – the word “cram” is a definite mistake. I will admit that I have a terrible fear of spiders… I respect them and only wish I didn’t feel a scream rise every time I saw one. I really want to love them… but… they’re so darn creepy!! I am embarrassed by this fear and ashamed to admit I’ve behaved in the most appalling fashion in the presence of a spider. Why, I ask myself… I’m a lover of all critters – including snakes and alligators… why spiders? Reply
David Paul Behrens September 1, 2020 Both of these poems are well crafted and enjoyable to read. The following is a related poem I wrote in 2017: William Blake In another lifetime, I was William Blake. When I saw his work, That was my take. He wrote about love And the human heart. I thought I was him, Right from the start. He wrote about London, Tiger burning bright. His influence looms In whatever I write. He wrote about life, The human abstract. I hope I was him. I hope it’s a fact. I flatter myself To think I was him. Deep down I know The chances are slim. His mystical presence Burns like a fire. To be like him Is to what I aspire. Reply
Margaret Coats September 1, 2020 The word “cram” is a punch in the face, but I immediately understood your meaning–something not easily conveyed by a milder word. Just think of a dedicated butterfly garden, surrounded by netting that prevents the butterflies from escaping, and where they occasionally crash into a visitor’s eye. I will also support your use of “cram” with three lines from Amy Lowell’s multicolored sonnet, “A Tulip Garden.” Here are platoons of gold-frocked cavalry, With scarlet sabres tossing in the eye Of purple batteries, every gun in place. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Dear Margaret, I really appreciate this alternative viewpoint. I haven’t yet found a word to replace “cram”, simply because nothing says it like this in-your-face word. The reason I wanted to change it is because butterflies in England don’t have the same impact as the dish-plate size ones in Texas, and I thought I’d gone off track with a rather gaudy take on something so delicate… but… Amy Lowell may well have changed my mind. You’ve given me a lot to think about (as ever). Thank you very much for your insightful take. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2020 The problem with the verb “cram” is connotation and tone! To cram means “to overstuff,” “to fill to repletion,” or “to pack in tightly.” It is best used in sentences like “The closet is crammed with junk,” or “The refrigerator is crammed with food.” Using it in a bucolic poem like “Backyard Bliss” is simply jarring and out of place. The word is essentially slangy, and therefore lacking in the literary decorum proper to Mrs. Bryant’s poem. And when one uses slang in the wrong place, it put you on the edge of the dreaded bathos. Consider this McGonagallesque example: Dearest, you are all my bliss– I hunger for your precious kiss. Those love-notes–honey, send me more! I’m cramming them in my desk drawer. See how one wrong word wrecks a poem? Also, notice that Amy Lowell (to her credit) did not use the word “cram.” She created instead an extended metaphor of tulips as a military formation, with tossing sabres and batteries of cannon.
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Dr. Salemi, my head simply crammed (LOL) with ideas and I’m so grateful for this informative discussion on the word. I do like the word “cram” and Margaret’s take makes me want to hold on to my initial idea, but it would appear that the majority of readers find it jarring and your reasoning makes sense. What do you think about butterflies that “widen” eyes? For me “widen” captures an element wonder and surprise at their beauty. Julian suggested “greet”. I also like that.
Joseph S. Salemi September 1, 2020 Well, if you use “widen,” you’ll have to omit “my” for metrical reasons. But then the line looks like it might mean the butterflies have eyes that they are widening, and that would be absurd. Whatever you need, it has to be a monosyllable.
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 David, thank you very much for your lovely comment and wonderful poem. I particularly like “He wrote about love/And the human heart./I thought I was him,/Right from the start.” For me, this says everything about Blake. He spoke the language of the people. His contemporaries had little time for his works and looked down their noses at him. But, that’s exactly why his followers loved him… he understood what other poets didn’t – probably because he came from a working class background. As a teenager, his “Songs of Innocence” sang to my heart and it was then I fell in love with his poetry. “The Spyder” is a nod of gratitude to one of the greats. Reply
Julian D. Woodruff September 1, 2020 Congratulations, Susan Your command of alliteration is on vivid display, but there is much inventive resonance, too. What I like best, though, is your respect for spiders. They’re not just wonderful creatures that help the environment. I had the same q about Moreish. Too bad it’s lost on most American ears. As for “cram,” I stopped there, too. But my 1st thought was “greet” … as in “Every morning you greet me.” Oh, dear! Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Thank you very much for your considered observations, Julian. I’m glad my respect for arachnids comes through – I know they’re a force for good and really want to like them… darn it! As for “moreish”, I’m so glad you appreciate it. I adore the sound and feel of the word. It speaks of a rich, addictive deliciousness that rolls off the tongue like honey. I like “greet” – it changes my idea, but creates a new one that appeals to me. Great stuff! Thanks again. Reply
Mike Bryant September 1, 2020 I knew that most Americans might have a problem with the word “moreish” and suggested scrumptious or luscious. Susan loved it so much I decided to look it up and apparently it IS an American English word. So I just figured anyone could just look it up at merriam-webster.com. It’s there and it means palatable. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 1, 2020 Yes, you did warn me but I’m very stubborn when it comes to words I love. “Moreish” is way above “cram” on my Wonderful Words list – it’s going nowhere. Reply
Rod Walford September 1, 2020 Thank you Susan! Your first had me sitting in a lounger your backyard sharing all that beauty of nature with you. Your second reminded me of my old backyard ( don’t like that Americanism although I confess we use it here in N.Z.) my old garden in Sussex where we had a long beech hedge. On a frosty morning all you could see were rime covered spider webs over the entire thing. It was a awesome sight – and a truly magnificent feat of engineering! Your poems are a delight – as always. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Rod, I’m thrilled you liked my poems. I, like you, had terrible trouble with the word “backyard” when I first arrived in Texas. How on earth could someone call the green and floral land outside their window a yard?! I had to convert to the word pretty quickly as every time I spoke of my “garden”, people asked what vegetables I was growing… and, I’m no vegetable grower. There’s nothing like a frosted, sun-dusted, or dew-laden spider’s web. You are absolutely right, they are truly a magnificent feat of engineering. I must, however, admire them from a distance. If I walk into one it freaks me. The sheer strength and sticky elasticity of it gives me goosebumps. I seriously need therapy LOL. Thank you very much for your lovely comment. Reply
Terry L. Norton September 1, 2020 I enjoyed both poems – the first as an homage to the solace that nature in repose can bring and the second in its portrayal of nature’s utter fierceness like the little drama presented in Frost’s “Design.” Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Terry, thank you very much for your comment. Mother Nature fascinates me and you have tapped into the very core of her beauty and savagery. I’ve just read Robert Frost’s “Design” for the very first time. Wow! What a vivid linguistic picture he paints – I love the word choice, the imagery, the figures of speech, and the subject matter. If my spider poem is a fraction as good, I’m smiling. Reply
Joe Spring September 2, 2020 Lovely, Susan. I particularly liked the muffled buzzing in Beelzebub. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Thank you very much for your astute observation, Joe. I love words for the feel and sound of them, and always enjoy reading poetry aloud. I’m so glad you spotted and appreciated that in the Beelzebub line. I love your “muffled buzzing” description. How well those two words sit together. I might steal them for a future poem. 😉 Reply
David Watt September 2, 2020 Susan, “Backyard Bliss”is a delight to the senses. You must have a backyard to be envied! My take on the use of ‘cram’ is that the single word ‘delight’ (for what is a delightfully described scene) could be used to replace ‘that cram’. The alliteration and thoughtful word choice in ‘The Spyder’ make it a wonderful poem to read aloud. We also use the word ‘moreish’ in Australia eg. ‘That meal was rather moreish’. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 David, thank you very much for your wonderful comment. I like the idea of “delight” – it’s pretty and in keeping with the mood of the poem. As an added bonus, it creates an internal rhyme with “so bright” in the following line. I’m thrilled to hear that you’re eating moreish dishes in Australia – what better word to describe the sheer deliciousness of a meal that begs for a second helping! Reply
Julian D. Woodruff September 2, 2020 Susan, I hope you’re not getting tired of all this picking and packing around a single word. I’m betting you hold onto “cram,” and I don’t blame you. Another direction that comes to mind: energize, enliven, awaken etc. Unfortunately, I can come up with only “stoke”! Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 2, 2020 Julian, I never get tired of discussing the intricacies of poetry. I love sweating the small stuff, especially with a like-minded group of people who can steer me in the right direction. I’m drawn to the word “stoke” – it conjures an image of eyes blazing in the glory of a butterfly’s colorful wing. I am now spoilt for choice, and that’s the way I like it! Thank you very much for your wonderful suggestion. Reply
Jeff Eardley September 2, 2020 Susan, I love “Cram.” I also love “Dram” especially when preceded by “Wee” and the favourite word of Monty Pythoneers, “Spam.” Your backyard sounds amazing. I have tried to get inspiration from mine but all I can see on a wet afternoon is a fence that needs a lick, and a resident lame wood-pigeon that walks everywhere. “The Spyder” is up there on the top shelf of English poetry, in fact my copy has flown off the top shelf, out of the window and gone stratospheric. Two cracking poems. Thank you so much. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 3, 2020 Thank you very much for your beautifully humorous comment, Jeff. What’s wrong with a walking wood-pigeon – much better than a Pythonesque parrot! I like the sound of the “wee dram”. I get seriously drunk on the beauty of the butterflies in my backyard… this description suits me. I’m thrilled you like my bristling Spyder… I know it will never compare to a blazing Tyger – one can but try. Reply
C.B. Anderson September 2, 2020 When you write amazing lyric poetry like this, Susan, it makes me want to suggest that you try submitting poems to the ORCHARDS poetry journal. You might find a summer home there. On the subject of “cram” I’m fairly neutral, but you might consider “storm” as an alternative. Reply
Susan Jarvis Bryant September 3, 2020 C.B., thank you very much for the ORCHARD pointer, and for your take on “cram”. I like “storm” – the image of a forceful invasion of beauty appeals to me. Reply