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The Lilliputians Confront Elon Musk

One giant has thoughts that are new and transcendent,
It’s clearly a sign that he’s too independent.
He claims that he’s bringing electrification
of cars, and affordable space exploration.

It’s right that we fear disingenuous giants
since we can’t be certain of their full compliance.
They pose a great danger to us Lilliputians,
so we implement our time-tested solutions.

At first, we’ll engage in some simple name-calling,
which works best with names that are really appalling.
Our media friends help relentlessly batter
the giant since they know that truth doesn’t matter.

We hope that name-calling will work to retrain him
but if it does not, then we have to restrain him.
Experience shows the best means of containment
for giants is typically legal arraignment.

We have a large cadre of Lilliput judges
and worked to make sure we found each judge who fudges
what’s written quite plainly in our constitution.
Each one loves injunctions and harsh persecution.

Our spies give alerts when thought crimes are committed,
which we cancel since such thoughts can’t be permitted.
For Lilliput’s sake, we must crack down with zeal on
all giants, especially that one named Elon.

We’d not found a thing we could not cut a deal on
until we found out we could not pressure Elon.
He doesn’t care which Lilliputian he stresses,
and Doesn’t Oblige Governmental Excesses.

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Tyree The Cannibal

Tyree Smith admitted to killing a man with a hatchet in 2011,
and then eating parts of his body while sipping saki. Tyree
was found not guilty by reason of insanity, but was committed
to spend 60 years in a psychiatric hospital. He was granted
“conditional release” on February 22, 2025.

We have one thing in common, we all fear the specter
of killers who eat us, like Hannibal Lecter.
In twenty-eleven, a man was discovered
and parts of his body were never recovered.
That man closed his door, but perhaps didn’t latch it,
so Tyree Smith entered and struck with his hatchet,
then ate brains and eyeballs that he paired with saki,
perhaps he had flavored them with teriyaki?

The Court ruled he couldn’t make rational choices.
He couldn’t not listen to his inner voices.
Not guilty, but still, sixty years of confinement
with treatments to fix Tyree’s mental alignment
seemed like an imperfect, but alright conclusion.
At least we’d sleep well with Tyree in seclusion.
Connecticut doctors have done what’s amazing,
and led Tyree down the new trail they’ve been blazing.

The Board’s fully certain they’re done with his healing.
They’ve banished the demons with which he was dealing.
He was just released, but there were some conditions,
he had to give up his flesh-eating ambitions.
A few, seeking sound bites, said it was outrageous
but they fail to see it was really courageous
to demonstrate love, and to be so forgiving
by letting him live where no Board member’s living.

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Warren Bonham is a private equity investor who lives in Southlake, Texas.

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20 Responses

  1. Roy Eugene Peterson

    Warren, those are two great poems that pack cultural punches of rare quality. You are so right about Elon Musk and the Lilliputians of society including the judges who attempt to place restraining orders on his lawful responsibilities and activities. The humorous satire in both poems is a fitting and powerful approach to castigating the objects of ire and remonstrate against their opinions and abject failures to protect us from the wolves. Tyree has essentially escaped a sixty-year term of removal from society for an eleven-year release from responsibility. I applaud your wonderful poems with detailed insights into the cases of both Elon and Tyree.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      Thanks! The wolves seem to be the ones administering justice and they do so in a manner that feeds their insatiable appetites. It’s hard to feel sorry for the richest man in the world, but I find myself in that unexpected position.

      Reply
  2. Joseph S. Salemi

    Elon Musk is one of those full-spectrum geniuses and innovators who appear only a few times in every century. Those who oppose him and hate him are Lilliputians, but with this difference — Swift’s Lilliputians were for the most part rational and humane, but the Lilliputians who attack Musk are malicious and toxic vermin.

    As for the cannibal Tyree Smith, let’s just wait a few months and see whom he murders next. As Bonham suggests, it’s a sure bet it won’t be one of the brainless Board that has stupidly released him.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      I completely agree that Musk’s attackers are neither rational nor humane. Musk was hailed as a hero a very short time ago. His attackers are also disgustingly fickle.

      Reply
  3. Margaret Coats

    Excellent artistry on current topics, Warren. The poem on Musk is a fine fit for Gulliver in Lilliput–with the differences in psyche noted by Joe Salemi. Musk is a real-life figure much larger than Gulliver, while those badgering him are small compared to Lilliputians. They are many, however. In my area, Friday was a day for activist-organized demonstrations at various places. Noisy rage had forgotten Trump to focus on Musk, and I’m sorry to say I forgot the little I heard. You’ve done well to identify his important characteristic as being unmoved by pressure.

    Checking on Tyree Smith’s age, I see he is not yet 50 years old. He butchered a 43-year-old man who might have had many years left, but it looks like those years have been gladly given to the killer. Maybe he cannot live where those who released him reside, but it’s a big world.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      I agree that the gap between Musk and today’s Lilliputians is much larger than the one between Gulliver and his Lilliputians. I suppose that’s what makes him such a threat. Musk is completely uncontrollable. I didn’t think anyone could replace Trump as being the greatest villain in the eyes of the Lilliputians, but apparently Musk is now enemy #1.

      Reply
  4. Frank Rable

    Warren, I was speaking to Jonathan Swift on the Ouija board this morning and told him about The Lilliputians Confront Elon Musk. He was intrigued. “Is this perchance, a form of sarcasm? Or what you might call “science” fiction? A current day Merlin is vilified even as he solves the problems of the age? And these folk of small minds attempt to control him with judicial ropes and arrows of insult. And I thought I was out there with the little guys and the big guys and the talking horses! Request of Mr. Bonham that he not not cease his poetic efforts.”

    Me again. I very much enjoyed the read, and the poetry which speaks of the mindset behind the efforts made to discourage Mr. Musk. I just wonder how much he can take, which now includes death threats and burning cars.
    And I wonder what history will say, if anyone is still keeping score in a hundred years. Right now, some people aren’t happy unless the media tells them to feel that way.

    Last thing. I’ll bet I am not the first to notice the acronym. But it looks like I get to say it first. Last line; Doesn’t Oblige Government Excesses, probably the most thankless task he has taken on.

    Reply
    • Frank Rable

      Oh dear! If only I had placed a comma in the midst of the double negative. I could have claimed it to be an enthusiastic “not”.

      Reply
    • Margaret Coats

      Frank, I made a little note on D. O. G. E. in the final line, but forgot to mention it. Glad you found it and brought it out!

      Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      I’m very glad to hear that Mr. Swift enjoyed the effort! I have the same concern about how much pressure Musk can withstand. All of his work has been very beneficial for we Lilliputians, but none more so than what he is now doing. It would be very easy for someone like me to throw in the towel but I’m glad that he seems to be made of sterner stuff.

      Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      Thanks also for pointing out the DOGE acronym. I still think it’s a little awkward sounding, but it was the best I could come up with.

      Reply
  5. Warren Bonham

    I’m very glad to hear that Mr. Swift enjoyed the effort! I have the same concern about how much pressure Musk can withstand. All of his work has been very beneficial for we Lilliputians, but none more so than what he is now doing. It would be very easy for someone like me to throw in the towel but I’m glad that he seems to be made of sterner stuff.

    Reply
  6. Susan Jarvis Bryant

    Warren, I just love this creative pair of giggle-inducing poems that highlight the insidious idiocy of today with flair. Swift (one of the masters of satire) would be proud to see his Lilliputians used to excellent effect. Thank you for keeping the insanity to the fore with these highly entertaining, poetic slap downs.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      I’m glad to have induced a couple of giggles! The idiocy keeps me in business.

      Reply
  7. Brian Yapko

    I’m showing up late, Warren, but very appreciative of two poems which are not only well-crafted but fresh and very interesting to read. The conceit of Musk and the Lilliputions is brilliant. He is indeed a giant and his critics are so miniscule in accomplishment as to make for a very compelling contrast.

    The story of “Tyree” is a rather bizarre subject for poetry. That makes it awesome, in my book even though it’s rather horrifying. You do a truly impressive job of presenting a story which seems stranger than fiction — and more infuriating. Our judicial system is utterly broken and now dominated by judges who have forgotten how to be right-sized. The injustices they perpetrate… some of them believe with all their hearts that they are “fighting the good fight.” They have lost all connection with reality. That’s very often what law does. It takes idealists and turns them into ideologues.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      Idealists turned into ideologues is a great way to summarize our justice system. Achieving some social policy aim is usually the goal rather than keeping the public safe. The overall recidivism rate is somewhere around 40% overall and is around 60% for violent offenders. They don’t keep statistics on cannibals as far as I’m aware. Fertile ground for satirical poetry.

      Reply
  8. Julian D. Woodruff

    These are both so sharp and acidic, and expertly composed, I’m truly envious. Together you & Susan Jarvis Bryant make Texas a hotbed of frank, inventive poetic political commentary. Now I hope you’ll take on Jasmine Crockett for her tasteless crack re G. Abbott.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      Texas provides fertile soil for escapees from the British Commonwealth (more so for SJB). I like the Crockett idea!

      Reply
  9. C.B. Anderson

    No one is hated more than the great man is hated. Lilliputians can’t bear the shame such a man causes them.

    Reply
    • Warren Bonham

      I completely agree with you. So far, all of their arrows have bounced off of him. I hope and pray that this continues to be the case.

      Reply

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