. . Frankly, There Are Many Ways To Spell Uggly “the Baleks von Bilgen…new coat of arms—a giant crouching under a fir tree” —Heinrich Böll, “The Balek Scales” by Esca Webuilder In the dark ages, lived a tyrant. Gugyl was his name, whose thoughts, though somewhat polished, were untrammeled and untame, and sharpened by elite, progressive ideology; he was a tyrant of exuberance and fantasy; and, withal, of an irresistible controlling might, that, at his will, he turned his fancies into righteous spite. And he was given greatly to communing with himself, and when he and himself agreed, the thing he thought was felt. When every member of his court moved smoothly in its course, his nature was genteel, genial and bland perforce; but when there was a little hitch, his orbs got out of whack, and he would crush down anyone who got out of his track. Among the notions of this tyrant was his public space in which he demonstrated justice, honesty and grace. Here subjects were refined and cultivated in their minds to give the people what they needed—justice lacking blinds. He did not want to give the people opportunities to argue their opinions or engage in mental sprees. He wanted justice to be just according to his whim, and he could banish anyone; it was all up to him. If subjects virtue signaled, they were granted the reward of staying in his presence, for he truly loved accord; but when someone committed thoughtcrime, they were crucified; in public notice, their thoughtcrime was neatly rectified. This way his public space was thus allotted only to his subjects who knew everything he ever said was true. And this great scheme all came from his extraordinary brain, this awesome tyrant who knew more than any John or Jane. Who dared to question his ideal form of governance? Each subject could do what he said. Each subject got his chance. This was his way administering justice in the land, for one and all in equity could follow his command. The thinking part of the community could bring no charge of prejudice against this plan, barbaric, florid, large; for did not every citizen, accepted or accused, choose to enjoy his justice or else justly be abused? . .