(public domain)A Poem for International Women’s Day: ‘Kitchen-Sink Musings’ by Susan Jarvis Bryant The Society March 8, 2025 Poetry, Satire 10 Comments . Kitchen-Sink Musings It’s International Women’s Day today But as a flunkee in biology I’m told I’m far from qualified to pay Fair tribute to such morphing majesty. As I’m a wombed and bosomed dinosaur With brazen XX chromosomes to boot, I’ve lost my precious Reddy right to roar— My female fortitude is rendered moot. A mother’s worth and voice is obsolete Now bristly birthing persons are the norm. The mustached matriarchs are out to meet Their cocky kin and party up a storm. It’s Women’s Day and wifely duty calls— I’ll celebrate when I have grown some balls. . . Susan Jarvis Bryant is a poet originally from the U.K., now living on the Gulf Coast of Texas. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. Trending now: 10 Responses Geoffrey Smagacz March 8, 2025 Take that, Virginia Woolf! Fun to read. Reply Susan Jarvis Bryant March 8, 2025 Thank you, Geoffrey. How strange that a room of one’s own would be the least of Woolf’s worries these days – a bathroom of her own would be good for starters! Reply Geoffrey Smagacz March 9, 2025 She grew up with seven servants. We should all be so lucky. Brian Yapko March 8, 2025 Kitchen sink indeed, Susan! What a blast! You’ve really packed this poem with references from science to pop culture into a spicy stew of satire. I love it! Love the reference to Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” and the ear-hurting mention of “birthing person” as a substitute for mother (now they’re pushing the phrase “impregnated person.”) Your male anatomy double entendres (I believe there are two dangling there) make the poem extra caliente and hilarious. “Morphing majesty!” Do you realize that all that separates a man from a woman is five little words? The minute I announce “I identify as a woman” everyone has to recognize me as such. As I understand it, in England you’ll go to jail if you don’t. As for “International Women’s Day” itself… what happened to the idea that there are 199 genders out there? Don’t they all deserve a holiday? Thanks for the laugh, Susan. And yet another chance to get my blood pressure up. Reply Yael March 8, 2025 I didn’t know it’s women’s day today, thank you for notifying me. Happy Women’s day to everyone. Is there also an International Men’s Day at some point on the calendar? Reply Rohini March 8, 2025 OMG! Superb, Especially loved ‘I’m a wombed and bosomed dinosaur’ and that kicker of a last line. Reply Joseph S. Salemi March 8, 2025 This is a true hoot, Susan! Great satire, and with an edge to it. Reply Warren Bonham March 9, 2025 Given that you flunked biology, it seems that you’re qualified to be on the Supreme Court along with KBJ. Although you lost the right, your roar was heard loud and clear. Great poem as always. Reply Mark Stellinga March 9, 2025 Susan, with less than 1% of our country fighting to set the rules on pronouns and gender acknowledgment, etc. it’s high time we 99%ers made a far greater effort to put the clearly irrepairable specimens where they belong. Virtually unoccupied government buildings, like the many in D. C., would hold a ton of them! Of course, DJT would have to whip up another EO initiating the hiring of a few hundred right-minded wardens and several thousand Proud Boy guards. I’m betting some would work for free! BTW – Connie got the special ‘International Women’s Day’ treatment yesterday – I let her help me with one of my furniture restoration projects. She’s awesome! 🙂 Reply Roy Eugene Peterson March 9, 2025 I predict “impregnated person” will never be acceptable: 1.) That only can apply for a few months at a time and 2.) Only to a real biological woman. That leaves out a man living as a woman. There is a better pronoun that could be applied to morphing beings combining She+He+It abbreviated to S-H-IT. (Pardon me for using such a vulgar combination.) Your scathing satire on the subject certainly adds food for thought on Women’s Day. Reply Leave a Reply Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Susan Jarvis Bryant March 8, 2025 Thank you, Geoffrey. How strange that a room of one’s own would be the least of Woolf’s worries these days – a bathroom of her own would be good for starters! Reply
Brian Yapko March 8, 2025 Kitchen sink indeed, Susan! What a blast! You’ve really packed this poem with references from science to pop culture into a spicy stew of satire. I love it! Love the reference to Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman” and the ear-hurting mention of “birthing person” as a substitute for mother (now they’re pushing the phrase “impregnated person.”) Your male anatomy double entendres (I believe there are two dangling there) make the poem extra caliente and hilarious. “Morphing majesty!” Do you realize that all that separates a man from a woman is five little words? The minute I announce “I identify as a woman” everyone has to recognize me as such. As I understand it, in England you’ll go to jail if you don’t. As for “International Women’s Day” itself… what happened to the idea that there are 199 genders out there? Don’t they all deserve a holiday? Thanks for the laugh, Susan. And yet another chance to get my blood pressure up. Reply
Yael March 8, 2025 I didn’t know it’s women’s day today, thank you for notifying me. Happy Women’s day to everyone. Is there also an International Men’s Day at some point on the calendar? Reply
Rohini March 8, 2025 OMG! Superb, Especially loved ‘I’m a wombed and bosomed dinosaur’ and that kicker of a last line. Reply
Joseph S. Salemi March 8, 2025 This is a true hoot, Susan! Great satire, and with an edge to it. Reply
Warren Bonham March 9, 2025 Given that you flunked biology, it seems that you’re qualified to be on the Supreme Court along with KBJ. Although you lost the right, your roar was heard loud and clear. Great poem as always. Reply
Mark Stellinga March 9, 2025 Susan, with less than 1% of our country fighting to set the rules on pronouns and gender acknowledgment, etc. it’s high time we 99%ers made a far greater effort to put the clearly irrepairable specimens where they belong. Virtually unoccupied government buildings, like the many in D. C., would hold a ton of them! Of course, DJT would have to whip up another EO initiating the hiring of a few hundred right-minded wardens and several thousand Proud Boy guards. I’m betting some would work for free! BTW – Connie got the special ‘International Women’s Day’ treatment yesterday – I let her help me with one of my furniture restoration projects. She’s awesome! 🙂 Reply
Roy Eugene Peterson March 9, 2025 I predict “impregnated person” will never be acceptable: 1.) That only can apply for a few months at a time and 2.) Only to a real biological woman. That leaves out a man living as a woman. There is a better pronoun that could be applied to morphing beings combining She+He+It abbreviated to S-H-IT. (Pardon me for using such a vulgar combination.) Your scathing satire on the subject certainly adds food for thought on Women’s Day. Reply
