"Interior, Strandgade 30" by Vilhelm Hammershøi‘A Folded Note Beneath the Door’ by Shannon Rose Cummings The Society September 25, 2018 Beauty, Poetry 5 Comments Painted, woody there it stands, this door behind which kingdom fans. Bright with order, calm with ease, a wooden plank with hidden seas. A plight to pick which path is best, the fallen stairs or the door’s behest. I write to you in ink to say, take the path which behind me lay. The prickled thorns against your legs won’t ebb insistence in your days. Don’t make ado of what is trite, this path reflects its own scattered light. Venture forth, seek new skies, the journey stretched before you lies. Shannon Rose Cummings hails from Kansas City and retires to her propensity for poetry after 5pm. More of her poetry can be found on her blog, rosepoems.net. NOTE TO READERS: If you enjoyed this poem or other content, please consider making a donation to the Society of Classical Poets. The Society of Classical Poets does not endorse any views expressed in individual poems or commentary. CODEC Stories:Share this:Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)Click to print (Opens in new window)Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) 5 Responses David Hollywood September 25, 2018 A lovely poem. Thank you. Reply Timothy S Dyson September 25, 2018 As with most modern poetry, I do not seek to understand. a poem’s a thing to either be enjoyed or passed over. It’s a nice poem but lacks the energy to gain interest. Reply Sally Cook September 25, 2018 My comment would be the exact reverse of Mr. Dyson’s. Your poem has a unique energy, but is not “nice.| You don’t want a “nice” poem. What you want to achieve is a memorable, thought-provoking poem, which this poem of yours almost is. Meter and rhyme got off the track in several places; please go back and use an eagle eye to catch those places. What you have now is what I would call a good first draft. It deserves to he brought to fruition. Reply Joe Tessitore September 26, 2018 I agree with you and Mr. Dyson. Go figure. I do, however, think that “nice” can be memorable and thought-provoking. Reply Mark Stone September 25, 2018 Shannon, Hello. I agree with Sally that the poem needs to be developed. Here are my thoughts. I would put a comma after “woody.” I don’t understand the meaning of lines 2, 3 & 4. I don’t think “plight” fits, since it means a difficult or unfortunate situation. Perhaps: “The trick’s to pick which path is best.” I don’t understand “door’s behest.” The words “in ink” appear to be filler, since they don’t convey any meaning that’s related to the rest of the story (and there’s no word that rhymes with “ink” in the middle of the following line to provide sonic enjoyment). I think of “ebb” as an intransitive verb, and you appear to be using it as a transitive verb. I would definitely change legs/days to a perfect rhyme. I’ve never heard “make ado.” Perhaps: “Do not make much of what is trite.” To improve the meter in line 13, perhaps: “Venture forth and seek new skies.” The poem has potential. I like the title, the theme and the images. Good luck with it! Reply Leave a Reply to Mark Stone Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published.CommentName* Email* Website Captcha loading...In order to pass the CAPTCHA please enable JavaScript. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Notify me of new posts by email. Δ This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Timothy S Dyson September 25, 2018 As with most modern poetry, I do not seek to understand. a poem’s a thing to either be enjoyed or passed over. It’s a nice poem but lacks the energy to gain interest. Reply
Sally Cook September 25, 2018 My comment would be the exact reverse of Mr. Dyson’s. Your poem has a unique energy, but is not “nice.| You don’t want a “nice” poem. What you want to achieve is a memorable, thought-provoking poem, which this poem of yours almost is. Meter and rhyme got off the track in several places; please go back and use an eagle eye to catch those places. What you have now is what I would call a good first draft. It deserves to he brought to fruition. Reply
Joe Tessitore September 26, 2018 I agree with you and Mr. Dyson. Go figure. I do, however, think that “nice” can be memorable and thought-provoking. Reply
Mark Stone September 25, 2018 Shannon, Hello. I agree with Sally that the poem needs to be developed. Here are my thoughts. I would put a comma after “woody.” I don’t understand the meaning of lines 2, 3 & 4. I don’t think “plight” fits, since it means a difficult or unfortunate situation. Perhaps: “The trick’s to pick which path is best.” I don’t understand “door’s behest.” The words “in ink” appear to be filler, since they don’t convey any meaning that’s related to the rest of the story (and there’s no word that rhymes with “ink” in the middle of the following line to provide sonic enjoyment). I think of “ebb” as an intransitive verb, and you appear to be using it as a transitive verb. I would definitely change legs/days to a perfect rhyme. I’ve never heard “make ado.” Perhaps: “Do not make much of what is trite.” To improve the meter in line 13, perhaps: “Venture forth and seek new skies.” The poem has potential. I like the title, the theme and the images. Good luck with it! Reply
