Humor

. in response to Mike Bryant's "CDC: New Guidance" “The Helicap’s a wondrous thing,” I heard the salesman say, I ordered one from Amazon, it came the other day. It fits just like a bathing cap; it's...

. Raw Now, listen, if you want to know the truth: The world's a battleground of claw and tooth. . Spare the Details Elections, like the spawning of the salmon, Are something we would rather not...

. Piteous Fools! The time has comeWhen all men seek to be is numb.The toils of our daily lifeDo overwhelm us all with strifeWithin ourselves; we aim to findA refuge somewhere for our mindTo have its day of...

. For a Friend Fighting Cancer And so it seems before the dawn that darkness reigns and hope is gone. I understand that is the way you feel. But dawn will come, and then bright sun. One day your struggle will...

. Entering college is an easy way Of making lots of friends, a herd of mares; Just drink a toast to Lenin any day, Down vodka’s revolution with your cares. Attending climate rallies might just aid Your...

. Split a line from a nursery rhyme and use the halves to open and close a poem. Post yours in the comments section below. This challenge comes from Joe Tessitore, who offers the below two examples: . "The...

.. Whoever said that change is good Is living in a purple wood Behind a tree behind a bough; A purple horse and purple cow, For progress is a purple haze Confusing nights; confounding days. Our education...

. Set your priorities—don't be uncouth—know the Secret to happiness lies in this truth: “Though the Sum of all things is a secret worth looking for, Perfect lasagna is something worth cooking...

.   "To indulge in hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian tergiversation is not to show your erudition: rather, it is to be superficial.” ---Steven George Krantz Thalamic tarantismLed to...

Compiled by Roy E. Peterson Readers are encouraged to add other great poets' and writers' epitaphs in the comments section below, or write a poem for their own epitaphs. . Prologue Both authors well and...

. The Tale of Governor Do-as-I-Say-Not-as-I-Do-som It’s funny how Democracy In many states now colored blue Produces rank hypocrisy, A birthright of the privileged few. And there we notice Gavin...

.  Brush with Shame In reference to “Couple accidentally paints over $500,000 artwork,” Ben Cost, New York Post, 4/3/21 The whole world over they are in a stew: Our artists and creators share the...

. O Spring, you’re such a tease, Fickle as a good-time lover; Temptingly, you hover Warm against my cheek, Windless, save a zephyr; And oh so soft your whisper Of promise, only to hide Away again. I...

. The gaffe-prone Duke of Edinburgh has died, who asked if native Aussies still chucked spears and told some Brits they’d end up slitty-eyed for living in Beijing too many years. Yet what a gap this man of...

. The seven dwarves of old age __Have come to live with me, But what could be the use of them __Is more than I can see. First Napper came and gave a wink __And slept upon my bed. Warm afternoons are quiet...

. Bardolatry He boasted an iambic ear, That playwright with insight, Shakespeare; Yes, Measure for Measure He’s given much pleasure With Hamlet, Macbeth and King Lear. The Bard’s jealous...

.   __Like Don Quixote’s windmills, rhymes keep spinning in my head! My dark-passion is to write Light Verse; my curse, to go unread. __I keep submitting—vain attempts!— though earnest, judged a...

. She started her Pilates class, Upon the Internet. The city was in lockdown, So, she knew, some work she’d get. She started on her webpage, Working hard into the night. She knew it wasn’t easy, So, she...

. The Odyssey of a recovering patient of the Orthopedic and Spine Specialists (OSS) hospital in York, PA; January 2019. (My hospital experience could not have been better. Surgeons, nurses, aids, therapists,...

. . On a Starred Night derived from a George Meredith poem On a starred night, Prince Lucifer uprose; From smoke and stink and howl of the distraught And sulphur stench and brimstone, change he sought. Garbed...

. I wish I could build me a magic machine, A magic machine that would last, Till the octopus sings and the Orca grows wings, And the lowly worm ceases to cast. I’d fashion the walls out of wonder and...

. We appreciate your purchase of this version of the game That caused Mr. Milton Bradley to become a household name. Though we cannot laud the methods for his capital success, We endorse Life, with some...

. How to Write a Formal Poem(That Doesn’t Seem Like One) abandon capitals at all times. TrustYour sense for sound but, please, avoid rhymes. ChooseA rhythm you can readily adjustAnd phrase what you mean so...

. Dillard “Sparky” Barker Is a Doc at CDC. He’s announced a market- Driven cure for you and me. Helicaps—not beanies Are the answer to our prayers. The downward blowing breezes Now defeat all virus...

. Is poetry that’s free as free as all That?  Surely it’s the poet who is free Or not.  He makes the choice to make a sprawl Of words (and punctuation?) dribblingly Straight (straight?) along the...

. Dear President Biden You act as if you were elected To spend my great-grandchildren’s money. By spending trillions you’ve infected Each one of them with debt gone viral, And I don’t think it’s wise...

. The Plague They muzzle their breath, Sealed in rooms as if in tombs, Scared to death of death. . . A Tale from the City They’ve worn my patience very thin So I wear my mask upon my chin “Nose...

. Our neighbours bought a sheepdog: a heeler brindled blue, And all was well (or so it seemed) until his faults showed through; For when it came to penning sheep, he lost a large amount, And bit the hand...

. Rededication The sullen days of winter Remain a galling splinter Within my thickened skin, So let the games begin! Though I’m inclined to focus Upon the blooming crocus, The loom of April fills My mind...

. A Box of Chocolates is like Life: (That Mrs. Gump she got it right.) You  never know just what you’ll get, so take a chance: Jump in; don’t fret! Life’s Bittersweet – both dark and light – but...

. The Bibliophile’s Birth Certificate Marius Michel (1846-1925) was one of the most prominent and gifted bookbinders in France. He produced work in strikingly beautiful and unique designs, and today his...

. In Memoriam, W.S. Most righteous, good, and well-intentioned peers, I write these lines to bury Shakespeare—not To praise him—and here prove the reason dear, Unhallowed scriptures now are cast as...

. Don’t you love the Oxford Dictionary?  When I first read it, I thought it was a really really long poem about everything. —David Bowie A dictionary is an indispensable Companion on the journey through...

. A kangaroo visiting from Australia beholds the kangaroo court attempting to impeach President Trump for the second time and, taking the current kangaroo judge’s momentary absence as an opportunity, dresses...

. A touch of wit is worth its writ in gold. We miss you, John, for being ever bold. You spoke your mind or, rather, wrote it down with learning lightly worn, and played the clown. Your loyal readers...

. The Second Roman Empire Those were the days, when Julius Caesar Saw a country and would seize her, And the busty Roman matrons Ran the house and bossed the patrons. Christians, at the least suggestion, Gave...

. Jelly Guts Rule The book, we’ve been apprised, is most uncool— Young Marco and the farmer by the pool, Wits locked in friendly if serious duel, And Marco sends the farmer off to school. One Dr. Seuss,...

. Oh hail the master puppeteer, Controller of the strings. The altruistic engineer, Sagaciousness he brings. With breathtaking dexterity, He moves us all about. From rich and famed celebrity, To every...

. Around the rearview mirror of my car There hangs a gonfalon of love divine. My talisman, my bright and guiding star, From which both fortitude and healing shine. What is this mighty banner hanging down? Not...

. Advice from Dante “If you hear nostrums* in the market cried, Behave like men, and not like witless sheep.” ---Dante, Paradiso, Canto V Behave like men, and not like witless sheep. The CDC has shown no...