Humor

. Curious Couplets . Goose Lady When driving through a blizzard, Marge Espied a goose, not over large. Determinedly it marched along— One wing dragged as it sang its song And whistled wee wee as it went— A...

. Medieval Scam Letter Felicitations from the Holy Land, Where I, as sole survivor of a band Of mercenary soldiers stashed away Much booty; and concealèd it shall stay Until a boat’s procured to sail me...

. The Sky Within The rolling sea becomes a frothy lather When argent Sister Moon calls forth a tide And sooty billows on the skyline gather. A flash of lightning urges us inside Where we observe the phases of...

. The Tortoise and the Hare in limericks A tortoise and hare were a-talkin’. Said Hare: “Why, your slowness is shockin’! __If we ran a race, __You’d be a disgrace. I’d win, even if I were...

. The Number 53: To His Coy Transport Had we but world enough and time, My coy and tardy 53, This hesitancy were no crime And I’d be waiting patiently. When other buses came along I’d not obstruct or...

. Henry at Morning Time I’m lost in Greek or Latin, when You break into my life again. “Daddy, look! It’s morning time,” You say, as rays of sun sublime Bring color to the room. The leaves of...

. Don't Mess with Texas Gals On My Late Life Wife . Don't mess with my hot Texan. She's Texas born and bred. She does not fool with strangers. She'd rather see them dead. They said when she was born She had...

. The Number 44: The Cookery Class Now, this is a tale of a cookery class; It happened in Battersea early one March. The teacher was Jane who though barely thirteen Already sought fame as a culinary...

. The Adventures of Verb At six, I had a dictionary Where I would meet a man named Verb, Superb and quite extraordinary, In every definition’s blurb, Right at the finish, did while doing, For example:...

. Fifth Glyph This glyph, in British talk, occurs most oft--- most common, too, writ down within our books. Twixt ‘a’ and ‘z’ it’s fifth, not sat aloft but low and unassuming in its...

. Gnome A long-time fixture at our home Is Schnozz, our little garden gnome. This non-complaining happy chap Appears to have a handicap, And looks to me, I must confess, A poor neglected, grubby mess. His...

. Come September a pantoum Ohio State’s your home come September, Though we'll be lonely, stuck as empty nesters. Our home will be without its central member, When college life will beckon each...

. Butterfly Habit Ungainly butterfly, Misdirected flight. Fascinating random, Unpredictable delight. To and fro… up and down And backwards if you please, Bumbling aeronautics Independent of the...

. On Second Thought When words fail, __perhaps it’s not the words at all, __but hobbled minds that cannot call __a lucid image to avail ____the powers of description. When love fades, __it might not be true...

. A Poetic Heretic’s Poetry Tips a villanelle inspired by Dr. Salemi's essay "Poetry As The Philosophers Stone" Don’t listen to the howl of highbrow spiel From preachy creatures out to flatten...

. Ode to the Turnip Oh, turnip! You’re a vegetable maligned, suggestive of a drunk’s empurpled nose. Baked, or boiled, or steamed, on you I’ve dined, then revelled in a peaceful night’s repose. Your...

. The Shortfalls of Empirical Knowledge Sorry, Iowa. Each night is different from all previous And therefore not the same as those to come. The ways of Nature can be devious: They test experience and leave us...

. Why Children Like Nursery Rhymes A story to be told, a tale to tell Of things that do not matter much at all. Who cares about the farmer in the dell? Or Humpty-Dumpty falling off a wall? The pickled peppers...

. Salutations, Spring We sing your praises long before you’re due and after you’ve departed—all year long! You bring green grass and flowers into view— plus bugs, torrential rains, and winds so...

. A Few Special Letters . The mother goddess The m’s the mother goddess of the letters: Her shape exemplifies the female form. A bosom there for some, a bottom others; For warmth and comfort is...

. Growing Up . Starving Children in China If you don’t eat the food that’s on your plate ....I will, in turn, assert That you will be excused—no need to wait— ....For you won’t get dessert. . Crime...

. The King of Ice Cream in reference to recent Biden comments here. The current White House resident Is more than just the President. He’s King! The King of Ice Cream! A freezer-full of ice cream! A tragic...

. Parque España, Mexico City I walked until I couldn't walk without at least alighting on a city bench, the first that had a shaded seat, about ten yards from workers digging out a trench to place a pipe to...

. The Number 274: Timothy Pugh Now this is the story of Timothy Pugh Who woke up one morning in Regent's Park Zoo. He couldn’t recall what had happened before, Nor how he had boarded the 274. He couldn’t...

. The following is an excerpt of Don Quixote by Miguel Cervantes, encompassing most of Chapters 1 through 8, including Don Quixote getting his start, acquiring his squire Sancho Panza, and going on the...

. The Tragedy of the p and the q . Lovers in eternity The p and q were two eternal lovers Who faced each other in the alphabet. To all else lost, oblivious of others, The ideal Romeo and Juliet. But though...

. Avalon This little tale concerns a man, Who in an English village ran A thriving little corner shop, Supplying shakes and soda pop. This fellow did his best to try, His customers to satisfy, As in his shop,...

. The Dandelion Suburbia frowns upon her sunlit face: “Out, out thou upstart weed!” Poor Dandelion —like sisters Cinderella, Queen Anne’s lace— a beauty cast aside; no bed to lie in. Medicinal,...

. How to Write Contemporary Poetry a pantoum in free verse composition keep letters lower case. dump classical tradition then cite the marketplace. keep letters lower case make use of ampersands then cite the...

. Learnin’ Letters I wanna learn me letters Ma, I wanna learn ta read. If I can learn me letters Ma, We’ll ‘ave the things we need. An’ when I grows ta be a man, I’ll be a proper gent, Discussin’...

. The Antiques Buyer Meets His Match "What's the best you'll do?" I asked; __“It's nice, but needs some work... and parts for these, as you may know, __are sometimes hard to find!” “If you don't like...

. The Leprechaun Come mid-March, the leprechaun Glides up and o’er the rainbow, Playful as a unicorn That’s prancing in a meadow. With greedy eyes glimmering, And shim’ry as a peacock, He slides to...

. The Scottish Gourmand A culture-rich country which lay to the east where we were invited to conference and feast from Cuba to China, and some of the rest they bade them here gather and money invest for...

. The Number 17: Ondine and Lucien’s Great Adventure;  Or, The Kind that Can Float from The Bus Poems: A Tale of the Devil, currently in preparation. Now this is a tale of two very good friends; They lived...

. Homeric Hot or Not (Hotness Ratings Out of 10) . 10 By birth divine and radiantly tressed And beautiful and of a charm possessed That turns men into pigs if she’s inclined, A better girl than Circe none...

. Winter Hyphenation Knit cap above, two squinting eyes below Face frozen fresh-fall snowfall, white as snow. Constricted pupils dim the sight and fight Against the blinding sunrise-lumined light. An...

. The Reagan with apologies to Edgar Allan Poe Once upon a long and weary voting day with chances dreary for a quaint and curious choice, a nominee we all adore; while I gauged the sense of voting, suddenly I...

. And Every Dog His Day There’s no such thing as dog-years.  You were fooled By sentimental nincompoops who don’t Know how to count correctly, twits unschooled In logic or in basic facts who...

. So Much Depends upon a Dog So much depends upon a dog The earth revolves around the sun. Each day revolves around our jog— unclip your harness, watch you run, and sniff where other dogs have wet. So much...

. An Appeal I want to be a fiber on your loom, A constant fixture in your living room, A luscious morsel that you save for last. It's time for us to build a solid past, If only to secure a firm...